Roxanne Modafferi

The Happy Warrior

Banana-rama! :D and my new co-worker

Posted in amusing, every day, friends on March 31st, 2012 by roxyfighter

Two totally unrelated topics. 😀

So today I was walking through Lazona shopping plaza after work and saw a stand with people handing out banana samples. Like this:

Okay, I know what a banana tastes like. Do I really need a sample? The answer is YES.

It tasted like………. a normal banana! *Gasp* 299 yen? That’s like $4 for 5 bananas. I don’t think so. I don’t need that many bananas. I could buy 5 for $1 at the 100 yen shop.


But I did need that banana mug sitting in front of the stand.


YES! BANANA MUGS!!! Gyaaaa! See, the sign says that if you buy TWO packages of 299 yen bananas, they give you THIS FREE BANANA MUG OMFG!!!!!!

Remember, folks, bananas are the answer! 😀 But which one did I want?! OH THE CHOICES. I liked the soccer player the best, and then the running one was cool, but I can neither play soccer nor run because of my back injury, so it wouldn’t do for me to feel nostalgic every time I looked at my freaking AWESOME mug, so I got the “Hey how’s it’s goin’?” style.


I know why my should hurts, I know why my leg hurts (I’m limping a little less now that the swelling has gone down), but I have noooo idea why my lower back hurts so much. ;o; Why can’t I stay healthy?

That aside. I chatted with my new co-worker Karla as she waited for her hubby to finish work. I like her a ton :D.

I love my work-place, I love my co-workers la la la ~^_^~ but I hate my body. ^^;;; But seriously, the best thing about not having a fight set is that I don’t have to FREAK OUT and feel that crushing pressure and stress when I get hurt. I can just freaking go home and not worry about weight or whatever.

omg my back……whyyyyy. X_x That’s OKAY! BRING ON THE PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!!! But don’t stick around- go away soon pls thxbai. ^^;;;

I could post the “FACE THE PAIN” song by Stemm (theme song to the UFC) but instead, Shinohara Tomoe will have to do. This music video is great! XD

[edit] oh wait, it’s the end of the month, so maybe it’s my non-existant period. Every month, lately around the end, either I feel exhausted for “no reason,” or my back hurts. ^^;; Yeah, I actually get my period like once a year….. as I said, MMA is hazardous to your health. *wry laugh*

very important: that little “might”

Posted in every day, training, Uncategorized on March 29th, 2012 by roxyfighter

Monday morning, I had a work-related meeting again, which was meh. -_- I was mentally preoccupied with that for the next two days…

I really enjoyed the Ground Slam evening class on Monday. A fighter named Ryosuke Tanuma taught it. We did kickboxing at first, and then grappling sparring. It was from 7 PM sharp to 9 PM sharp. That time worked for me…. It was intensive and there was non-stop drilling and sparring from beginning to end. I was able to push myself, and my body cooperated until the end when my knees felt a bit sore. But it was good. Then BJJ started, and I went home. Not SO many people, and there were a lot of beginners, but it wasn’t like I was not challenged. There were some good guys, there.

Tuesday I worked from 8 AM to 9:15 PM, with a long lunch break, in which I met my friend Kozo.

On Wednseday, I lifted weights in the morning, even though my shoulder’s been bothering me a bit. I tried Tony’s idea of lifting every muscle one set at maximum weight. 😀 I delivered a Berlitz Business Basics workshop to six co-workers, which went pretty well. ^_^b I watched a lot of One Piece, the anime.

On Thursday morning, I went to Ground Slam! For the first time since the end of January! ^_^

I felt good sparring. Not too many people were there, actually…only BJ and this other guy were my size. I ended up sparring BJ three times and Omigawa-san once.
link to his sherdog page WOW looking at this, I did NOT know he has such an extensive history. :O

Anyway, needless to say, when I got taken down and he got in the mount, I was thinking, “There’s no way I’m getting out of this.” Then I heard Steve yelling from the side, “Get up get up get up, Roxy! Try to get out!” I realized, “Sh*t I’m being passive!” BJ yelled, “Get at least ONE leg out! Don’t give up until you get at least one leg out!” Everyone was taking a round off, so they were yelling advice.


Most of the time when I’m sparring, I’m lost in a large class and I don’t get live coaching while rolling.
Anyway, I couldn’t get up, but I tried. I didn’t stop trying.

If you think you can’t get up, so you don’t try, you won’t get up.

EVEN IF YOU THINK you can’t, YOU MUST TRY, or you have no chance. If you try, you MIGHT do it. That “MIGHT” is the whole reason we step in the cage in the first place! That little “might” makes or breaks fighers, makes or breaks careers, makes or breaks fights, makes or breaks people’s spirits, makes or breaks the entire reputation of the sport. That little ‘might.’

In the end, I couldn’t get out of Omigawa’s mount. However, I managed to stand up when rolling with BJ. He took my back, but didn’t choke me. Later, he showed me some techniques. “Roxanne, you have good technique but you make little tiny mistakes! You gotta fix them, cuz it’s such a waste!”

THANK YOU BJ-san! ;_; You inspire me. And thank you, Steve!

(pic from last November…BJ-san is looking at the ceiling, and Steve has the navy blue shirt)

In my last match, I really pushed it and my shoulder felt something strain. I decided to do one more situational drill before quitting, and while defending the take down, my knee twisted and I felt something….happen. Not pop, maybe tear? I hobbled over to the side while Steve got me ice. But strangely enough, my knee wasn’t hurting. Somewhere down my leg on the muscle? or something? RIght above my ankle. That hurt. So I iced my whole leg. It’s a hard bump now, and I’m limping.

I had plans to meet Karen later that afternoon, and I hobbled to Kawasaki station.
“What’s WRONG with you, you still want to meet like this?!” Karen laughed at me as she saw me approaching.

Inside I laughed. I had just written to someone on twitter that I can’t remember the last time something was not hurting. I’ve never stopped living, though! Just that morning on the way to training, I saw someone with rickets struggling down the street on the twin crutches. I’m grateful that I could train and do what I love. If I can’t train, I’m grateful that I can walk. If I can’t walk, I’m grateful that I woke up in the morning.

I literally crawled into my futon at 8 PM, and woke up at 4. I feel like hell….shoulder, lower back, both legs. At least my neck stopped hurting. And I can walk without a cane. I can’t wait to get back to the gym so I can work hard, because I might become champion if I work hard. That little “might.”

Off to work!

Random pics, training!!! XD

Posted in amusing, every day, fun, training on March 24th, 2012 by roxyfighter

Friday was a blur cuz I was so exhausted from training. Which was FANTSTIC. XD My various injuries didn’t really hurt. lol

On Saturday, I worked my usual. I tried this new Onigiri (riceball) for lunch! Sakura ebi (mini shrimp)with a mixed rice grain.

And this tea was really good! I think it has extract of vegetables in it, but it doesn’t taste TOO vegetably. And it had 0 calories still. :O

Then went to Ground Slam. There were a lot of people. I LOVE BJ’s CLASS SO MUCH. We started at 7:15ish, shadow-boxing, and then did drills, like where only one person attacks and one defends striking. We rotated, then added kicks, then added cinching, then added take downs. Then did sparring standing, then did full MMA sparring. 😀 I found myself wearing headgear for the drills, hoping the men would feel more free to hit me, but it didn’t seem to affect that, strangely. -_-. I don’t care about getting hit- I was doing it for THEM- so I’m not sure what I should do next time.

Anyway, I REALLY ENJOYED MMA sparring- the first time since my fight. I really pushed myself…until stuff hurt and I couldn’t move anymore. I don’t think it’s serious, but it felt good to push myself.
Here’s me and random guys I sparred with. They were good—thank you for the training!

XD We even did situational drilling at the end. Like start in the position of having failed a single leg, and then one guy has to try and finish the take down, the other guy has to escape.
I’m the only girl in BJ’s class. But I really like being the only girl, actually. ^^;; As long as people believe I can pull my weight and train with me, but they mostly do. A few guys still won’t really hit me. *shrug*

Oh yeah, and the bottom one is new. XD Yeah, I made it myself…BUT I DESERVE IT, don’t you think? XD

Finally, my co-workers are ALL getting into this game “Draw something.” I LOVE IT, it’s like pictionary. It’s like drawing with your finger on your iphone, and had the hilarity of trying to draw something with stick figures in Microsoft Paint. Here’s my attempt at Bruce Lee. XD

Thank goodness they give you limited letters. 😛
My friend got it before I drew the dragon! XD

I realized it’s not enough….

Posted in amusing, every day, training on March 21st, 2012 by roxyfighter

SO as I mentioned in my previous blog entry I made vows, wrote goals and stuck them on my microwave. One was “No dessert until April 30th for mental training.”

“Man, no ice cream because of my vow,” I thought today, walking into a bakery and sniffing out all the bread. “Let’s see, I’ll get this one. No, maybe this one.” I decided on raisin bread. Earlier, I walked into another bakery but didn’t buy a walnut bread I liked because it was higher in calories than I wanted….

I was happily munching on my bread and then thought, “….oh no.”

Oh yes.

So I added a new goal to my microwave.

;_; AAAAAAAH No ice cream OR BAKERIESsssss. T_T;

I used to do that for mental training. Go into all bakeries, sniff everything, and then walk out. Torture.

Bring it.

I lifted weights this morning.

Do you guys like my action figure/figurine collection? XD I have a few more in a box somewhere. They don’t all fit on my shelf.

the blog I shouldn’t have read

Posted in Uncategorized on March 20th, 2012 by roxyfighter

I listened to this song as I wrote, so if you want, you can listen and read.

Monday morning was great. I had a work-related meeting which went well. Then I went shopping in Nakano again and got some anime goodies that I’d passed up before, but decided to go back for. I got them a dollar cheaper than I’d expected.

I was happy. Very happy. My knee is healing. So happy. I went home because the gym was closed, but no pressure to train at the moment. No fight on the horizon.

Then I got home and read Koizumi’s blog. He’s Hashi’s trainer. I thought he’d post pictures of Shu’s wedding. I happened upon a blog he did of when I fought Hashi. In addition to all his gushing about her awesomeness and accolades, I happened to read, “She won so I can write this. She really did well despite her broken finger!”

The room suddenly went very quiet for me. It was like a knife stabbed me in the heart.

You see, one of the reasons I’ve been able to accept this loss to my long-time rival was because, well… well….It’s really hard to write this. 🙁 …..

I also read this in “A Fighter’s Heart,” that sports psychology book by Sam Sheridan. Fighters need reasons, need excuses, so they can pull themselves back together and keep going. If we think, “I suck and I fail” then that’s the end of us. If they think, “Well, I didn’t feel so good, so I’ll try again next time,” or “If I improve my striking/grappling whatever, next time I can do it” or “Well I was hurt, so that’s why” or whatever, then they can move on.
(pic by Keiji Koizumi)

I accept all responsibility for my loss and taking the fight. I thought I did the best I could. My knee was hurting me before I taped it up, but during the actual fight it was OKAY at the moment. I regret not pushing it harder. I had vowed that even if I had to be carried out of the ring, I would push it. So why didn’t I push it and why wasn’t I carried out of the ring? Some weakness in my heart? Deep in my heart I thought that maybe if I could have prepared better, I might have won. But you know, fighters have fought injured. They’ve overcome. *I* was supposed to be the one who overcame.

But she beat me with a freaking broken finger.
Kudos to her. She’s really tough.

But where does that leave me……

ALL FIGHTERS fight injured. You guys have no idea. People ask me all the time if I get injured in fights. In fights? HAH, never. I ALWAYS get hurt in training, at least once a month. I pray every day that it’s nothing serious. People don’t talk about it. I talk about everything. Maybe that’s bad, as a professional…. How would that make HER Feel? How do I appear to the fans? And my fellow- fighters?

Last night I cried the tears I hadn’t cried right after my fight.
And I thought and thought and thought so hard that I couldn’t fall asleep for another two hours.

Where does that leave me. Where does that leave me.

I spoke out-loud to myself and told myself. “That leaves me with SMART goals written on post-it notes stuck to my microwave. That leaves me with challenges yet to over come.”

I work at my job in order to survive. I do MMA in order to live.
And I’m still alive. Let’s see how far I can push myself. I’m 29 years old. I’m not done yet.