Roxanne Modafferi

The Happy Warrior

I’m so so so excited to fight next week!! and stuff

Posted in fight on March 23rd, 2017 by roxyfighter

I am really really REALLY excited for my fight.

Every person has different reasons for competing. An MMA fighter has feelings in general about fighting, and then each fight feels a little different. For example, I compete in MMA first and foremost to test my ability and strength against my opponent, and prove that I can win. Then comes how I feel about each individual fight. I fought Sarah Kaufman in Strikeforce for the 135 lb title for that reason PLUS I wanted the belt and to prove that I was the best in the world in my weight division. Then, while I was on my 5-fight losing streak, my desire to fight changed to, “I just want to win a fight.”

My motivation for my third fight against Tara LaRosa was, “Now that I’ve changed my ENTIRE LIFE by quitting my job, leaving Japan, and training with the best coach I’ve ever met, can I still win in MMA?”

Yep, thanks to John and team Syndicate.
I try to not let myself get excited about belts or titles or rankings, although I’d be lying if I said I didn’t care at all. I have belts. I have three.


As we fighters gain various experiences in life, losing, winning, injuries, trips to places, relationships with people, our motivations come and go and change. As Coach John likes to say, nobody is forcing us to do this. Nobody is holding a gun to my head saying, “You have to fight in a cage!” I could get a different job, do jiujitsu for fun, whatever. Sometimes training is painful and sucks. We cry, barf, bleed, and agonize mentally over what we couldn’t manage to do.

We also cry tears of joy, rejoice, and celebrate things we are able to do, and especially, difficult things we BECOME ABLE to do after hard work.

Just because you train hard doesn’t mean you’ll win, but if you don’t train hard, you’ll never win.

When a fighter loses a fight and writes about it on social media, many people comment, “Don’t worry, it’s a learning experience!” “You win or you learn!” “You’ll be glad in the future!” or something. Yeah, it’s true we learn from our losses, but a fighter who loses is temporarily devastated. They SHOULD be devastated. This is because they put their heart and soul into going after their dream and they failed. It’s NOT “okay” to lose, especially on the pro level. This is a very unforgiving sport. People can get cut from the UFC after one loss,right? We want money and status to get our next fight. The day after the fight, it’s not a good time to read these things. However, a fighter DOES learn from their loss. We have to make the best of it, right? So yes, a loss is a learning experience but I’m never “glad” when I lose. when I lost fights, I thought to myself, “I have so much more I can do! Why did I lose?” and then I went about trying to fix it and strengthen my weaknesses.

I told one of my kid students this the other day when he started crying because he got frustrated. I said, “It’s okay to be upset that you didn’t win. That’s good – it means you are trying really hard and you care about jiujitsu. But you have to stay calm, keep fighting, and learn how to get better the next time.”

Smile and carry on.

My loss to Porto was REALLY really rough, and I was not okay. But I became okay, trained my butt off, and got better.

When I lost my title fight loss against Jennifer Maia, it was so weird. I felt that searing fiery pain in my heart from failing to win, but also a heady joy that I landed so many techniques successfully that I’ve been working on. I was okay with the contents of the fight, just not the outcome.


John told me that I needed to do more physical conditioning and get a little stronger. I started doing gi jiujitsu again, A) because I love jiujitsu B) because the pulling and that style of fighting strengthens my upper body and legs. I also found Lorenzo who I’ve been working with once a week every week since January. He’s been pushing for more but I literally cannot add anymore physical activity to my schedule.

I did a shark tank with John and Serena yesterday and John said this is the best shape he’s ever seen me in. I’m so excited.

I could go out there and still lose. There are no guarantees. Fighters have to know that they are not invincible. But I feel so great, so ready, so prepared. I have so many techniques I want to try. My opponent seems tough but I know I can win if I fight well.

I really can’t wait. I wish it were next week already! I just wanna go and do it! My weight is good. I want sushi and nachos. x_x

If you are relatively near Billings, Montana, please go see my fight in Fusion Fight League! While you’re at it, you could always “like” their facebook page. XD
https://www.facebook.com/fflmma/
I think it might be payperviewed on the internet… more info to come soon!

I’ve gotten some sponsors for this fight. Thank you!!
Remove it Restoration

Dragon Do Fight Gear

Aardvark Painting and Rob Hamilton

Cryohelmet

Jenkins Jiu-jitsu, an academy in El Paso, TX!
My Consumer I.T. and Bill.

The Void and Katie “Bad Wolf”!
Justin Taylor
Dominate your Game
Herbal Papaya
wetdryvac.net my webmaster

I have a fight! my training, sponsors, etc

Posted in every day, fight, friends, training on March 14th, 2017 by roxyfighter

I’m so excited I have a fight coming up! I’m still under contract with Invicta but they allowed me to take this fight with Fusion Fight League. It wasn’t easy finding an opponent, but finally Priscila De Souza was finalized.

It’s in Montana and won’t be televised, so you gotta go buy tickets! Serena was also given a fight on the amateur section! That’s pretty cool a card can have both, and how often do a a pro-friend and ammy friend get to fight on the same day?

Actually I wish we weren’t because I’m super emotionally involved in her fight and I get really nervous. But I guess it can’t be helped at this point. :/ I’m trying to be positive about it.

It’s gonna be fine. John’s gonna take care of us so I won’t be nervous. She’s been trying to get a fight for a while now, too. She has improved SO Much. I can’t wait to see her fight again!

I’m going with Coach John, and I’m flying in Captain because each team gets only one cornerman paid for. Most promotions have that rule.

You might see me posting about sponsorship. I don’t know how aware the average fan is, but the sponsorship scene has changed so much over the years I’ve been fighting. Back in the day like 10 years ago when the UFC was shown once every month or every two months, the fighters got thousands of dollars for wearing brand name shorts like Sprawl, Tapout, Affliction, etc. Then the market got saturated with fighters and brands and the companies realized that they weren’t making enough money back from such advertisement to justify spending such big money. So they cut back. And got picky with which fighters. Many fighters didn’t make an effort to show off their sponsors before and after the fights. Sometimes, fighters’ money they made from sponsorship was greater than their fight purse! I’m taking like over $50,000! Then the Reebok deal happened and UFC fighters were no long allowed to wear sponsors and only got like $2,500. From $50,000 to $2,500. Crazy, huh?

So my manager stopped being able to find me any good sponsors, and I started seeing fellow fighters posting on Facebook, ‘Who wants to sponsor me? E-mail me!” I thought, well, why don’t I try it?

And I started getting sponsors! Fans who owned small companies would give me some cash to put their logo on my clothes. Fans who didn’t own a company would contribute to put their name on my shorts or banner to show support. It adds up. In my last four fights in Invicta, I can say that other than Dragon Do, Cryohelmet, and Herbal Papaya, every single one of my sponsors was a fan. Well actually, the owner of Herbal Papaya contacted me because she was a fan. I am fan sponsored!

Crazy…

But I think I’m good for unique companies like Herbal Papaya and Cryohelmet because I do have a large social media following and they have unique products that are specifically good for me and the people who follow me. Everybody already has shorts. But do you have a product that can boost your immunity and help digestion like Herbal Papaya, or sooth headaches and migraines like Cryohelmet?!?

Someone suggested starting a gofundme account, but honestly, I wouldn’t do that because I’m not broke and I don’t wanna seem like I’m begging for money. No one is forcing me to fight. I do it because I love it. So I wanna do things that people will enjoy, like making my autographs accessible to buy, or putting someone’s name on my banner which will be shown on TV. 🙂

(click to enlarge)

removeitrestoration.com is one of my biggest, most consistent sponsors!
They’re also sponsoring Serena, Captain, and Naldo, so we took a group picture wearing their patches.

And this is me at this very moment typing this blog, wearing one of my two Cryohelmets.

(btw if you use the code: ROXYFIGHTER on the Cryohelmet website you get 15% off for the next month)

Anyway. So if you wanna buy this autographed photo, you can paypal $25 to basilisk875@yahoo.com and include your address! Or if you are interested in more, email me. And because money isn’t everything, even emailing me a “good luck” will make me super happy. 😀

I realized today that I started out this week with a faulty mentality. Last week I overworked myself to the point where I got sick, so I told myself this week I would take it down a notch. Also, John is away cornering Jessy in South Korea, and I’m super unmotivated to do striking when he’s not around. Today, while trying to do kickboxing, I realized that I mentally gave myself an out, so I tried to rev myself back up. However, I think I was still a little burned out from last week because I didn’t even feel aggressive while doing jiu-jitsu, and that’s rare.

I had such a headache that got worse after warm-ups, that every time I was hit, contact or blocked, my head would pound. Then everytime I landed a strike, namely on the heavy bag, my head felt like it was going to explode. It freaked me out because I’ve gotten a concussion before, and even though I KNOW today was just a neck-tension headache, I felt horrible.

Training to become a champion on your worst days, right?
I really wanted to go home after jiujitsu but didn’t.

Despite hating striking in general when John isn’t here, I actually really liked Tom’s ideas he was communicating today. I was trying to hard to give myself a goal during training, and ended up giving myself poor ones: don’t let my kicks get caught, and work on feints. They were poor because I didn’t specify how many kicks or how many feints, like “make someone bite on my feint successfully five times.” This locked me into a 100% success ratio expectation, so when someone caught a kick, I felt like I had failed. As I was getting my Cryohelmet out of John’s freezer in his office to try and recover a bit between rounds 2 and 3, I felt like such a loser and failure. Then I asked myself, “Okay, so how many times did you actually do it?” I looked back and realized that I had succeeded quite a lot, but my brain conveniently forgot about those times. I did a lot of good stuff, but my emotions weren’t giving me credit for them.

In the middle of the 4th round, I was going with Tony. Suddenly I heard Captain’s voice erupt from my right, “Let’s GO Roxy!”

I literally felt power enter my body. It was crazy, and very interesting.
He’s training for his own fight so he hadn’t come in today for class, but came in to hit mitts with Naldo.

I am very affected by 1) my trainers’ presences 2) music
I’m also 100% certain I could have ignored my headache a bit more if Rob Zombie was playing rather than the dumb rap and slow instrumentals that have been on in John’s absence.

Oh yeah, I didn’t tell about Tom’s goals yet. So he had us do combos but notice our how opponent blocks, or reacts. Then try and feint them and throw something else. It seems so simple, but we don’t often focus on JUST noticing specific patterns of our training partners. So I gave up my two goals and for the last two rounds adopted those, and man! I had so much success! Then Tom had us do rounds of only power punches.

I’m really proud of myself, despite feeling mentally sluggish and having a headache, I still got great practice in.

I canceled my Portuguese lesson today and I’m so glad, I can just lay down. I actually went food shopping instead. x_x and mailed out some autographs. Wait, so that means I’m not actually resting? I’m SO BAD AT RESTING. I need someone to lock me in my apartment. x_x

My Brazilian Brother Naldo held mitts for me on Monday. I really only want John to hold mitts for me, but I’ve found that if I don’t hit mitts on Monday, it doesn’t rev up my brain for kickboxing and I’m super unmotivated to do it for the rest of the week. Plus I was curious about Naldo, because I saw him holding for another teammate. I enjoyed my session with him! I really need to have a friendship or connection with my mitt holder to help motivate me to do it. -_- That’s another reason I asked him.

Thanks!!

This past Sunday, I made plans with Thais (my Portuguese teacher and Captain’s wife) to go to this Brazilian restaurant Boca do Brasil, and Captain came along. It was really nice! Great food, and the garlic didn’t make me melt since I’m a vampire. (i.e. give me an upset stomach)

Captain got a short-notice fight in World Series of Fighting, so he’ll be fighting in NY this Saturday, March 18th! It’ll be shown on NBC Sports! Please watch and cheer for him! He’s on the undercard.

Also Jessy jess in South Korea vs Sarah Kaufman in Battlefront, but I don’t know how to watch that… She has also improved a ton over the recent months! I’m so excited for her to fight and win!! Go Jessy!

I’m in such great shape. I can’t wait to fight!

Jessica Bakan took this photo of me hitting mitts with John. It’s pretty cool!

The Great Tohoku Earthquake

Posted in Uncategorized on March 11th, 2017 by roxyfighter

Today is March 11th, the 6 year anniversary of the Great Tohoku Earthquake. I’m not Japanese, but this disaster tore my heart apart as much as 9/11 did.

I was in Tokyo, about far away from the earthquake as Maryland is from Boston, when I felt the ground shake and stuff started falling off shelves in the supermarket. I dropped my groceries and rushed to the door with everyone else and watched the buildings sway. I met my co-workers and a few students in front of the Shinyurigaoka Berlitz school and we waited to see what would happen, all checking social media. Trains everywhere had stopped. Classes got cancelled. My teenage student said solumnly, “If we felt it this much here, it must be SO big there. I worry about a tsunami.” I thought a tsumani was just a tall wave, like the kind you surfed on. I thought I saw a disaster movie once where people run from a wave.

The truth is worse. A real tsunami is when the sea rises up, black and ominous, and swallows the coastal cities. It boils through the streets, picking up and carrying along cars and trees and ships and smashing them into buildings.

I spent the night at my office and watched footage on my co-worker’s laptop. I cried my eyes out. How many people had died? Certainly not everybody could have managed to evacuate!!

The next day I made it home and then heard about the powerplant damaged possibly exploding, sending radioactive clouds over Tokyo!?! My boss told me to come into work but screw that, I called her boss because I knew him, and he told me I didn’t have to go. LOL I traveled west to Nagoya and Osaka to get away and slept at a friend’s friend’s house.

I write a blog like this every year, but I will never ever forget. I’m crying just remembering the videos of destruction.

The gov claimed they had things under control a week later, (they were lying but at least it didn’t explode more) and I went back to Tokyo and tried to continue with life. Things weren’t the same. I had to stop eating peaches, and check the labels on the produce to make sure it wasn’t grown up there in Tohoku. Farmers and officials claimed that everything was safe, but they were obviously lying to save their businesses. There was NO WAY the food was okay up there. And it later came out I was right. And the economy up there went to hell because nobody was buying the food from up there, but sorry, I don’t want to die? People lost their homes and had to move into temporary houses. People are STILL living in temporary houses to this day. The world forgets these things because it’s not top news anymore. But the power plant is still not okay. They Japanese are still pumping water in there to cool the reactors, and have developed a system to clean the water. It was and probably still is leaking out into the ocean, contaminating the fish, etc. It’s a mess.

I remember taking a volunteer trip one year after the disaster with my gym, because my teacher’s friend lives up there, and handed out supplies. We also built a park with nothing but our hands and a shovel and hammer.

Some news just came out that the radiation was worse than they had estimated…but it’s better now! 😀

hah of course, duh, we all know the gov is lying to us to prevent panic.

I may live in America now, but half of my heart is still in Japan. I have so much respect for the people who’ve lost so much but still work hard and do their best to get on with their daily lives! ganbare Nihon!