The fight continues after the fight….

After the fight, Dana White came over and said something to me. It was very nice, like “Great fight” etc. I thought, “Man, I wish I could record this somehow cuz I ain’t gonna remember it in five minutes.”

I was right. ;_; My brain was still in that hazy fight-zone. Once the bell rang, I knew she was going to get the decision. I didn’t get “beaten up,” and I think I landed more strikes on the feet, but I know she got some good positions on the ground, so she was going to get it. She did.

You lost. You didn’t get the title belt! You could have beaten Nicco!
I used every ounce of effort in my body to win that fight. I fought hard. Be proud.

We gave our speeches and I left the octagon. I still didn’t know where to go. People were milling around. My nose hurt. I wanted ice.

“Where am I going? Somebody lead me!” Somebody lead me towards the back. On the way out, fans leaned over the guard rail and wanted to slap my hand and take pics. I always feel bad ignoring one side to go on the other side. I slapped a few people’s hands, and then I saw my friends, so I rushed over there. I hugged them….

You’re the loser tonight. Killers are going to flood the division soon.
It was a great fight. I should be proud.

I went to my favorite restaurant with my friends. It felt great to be in a comfortable place with people I loved. I started reading my social media and saw how everybody was talking about what a great fight it was. Then somebody told me that I should have tried more takedowns, that I didn’t even try but if I tried I could have won, and analyzed the fight. That made me feel really crappy. It was too soon to analyze. That’s supposed to happen in a few days.

I’ve been here before.

Here. Mental and emotional Hell. It’s where many fighters go after a loss. It’s dark, sad, and cold.

But before long, a staircase forms. When I go back to training and change myself, I get better, so I can leave the past me behind and climb the staircase out.

The more I improve, the higher I climb. And my friends and coaches are there to give me a hand up onto the first step.

The first week after my fight, my nose was swollen but not broken, and my eye was half swollen shut.
People you meet ask you if you won and you had to tell them no.
But she looked just as bad. And it was fight of the night.

I was hoping to go back to teaching kids on Wednesday but I got a skin infection from the UFC cage mat! -_- Well ppl are walking in there with shoes on and all so I’m not surprised. At least the UFC paid my doctor’s bill. The bursa sack on my left elbow was swollen, probably from me hitting her head with it.

Too bad you didn’t win.
At least I’m not on crutches.


But it’s not a serious injury. Every time I bent it, it stung like crazy, or if I breathed on it or leaned on it. And my left thigh/knee hurt from twisting it before the fight, and then she kicked it a bunch of times, so it was throbbing for a week after the fight. I’m grateful those are the the worst things. I think Nicco’s foot is broken. :/ I have friends who have had their skull orbital bone broken or cracked or something.

Her foot might be broken, but at least she’s the champion. You should have been the champion. You’ve been training for longer. You’re better.
She is very skilled and trained hard, too. She’s a great person and a good champion.

So yeah. I really didn’t rest a whole lot. I mean, I didn’t train, but I went everywhere. I had so many chores to take care of, and I did a ton of things I’ve been putting off. I got my car maintenanced, hair cut, did a few interviews like the MMA Hour, and had a few meetings with my coaches.

I went about my day doing chores.
Why couldn’t you take her down?
Because….. I didn’t see the chance and I didn’t want to dive in after it.
You didn’t even try.
Yes, I did…on the cage she was stronger, and everybody else got tired trying, so I decided strategically not to force it.
No, you didn’t….you didn’t try hard enough!!
I took her down twice, dude! Did anybody else ever take her down? Just shut up.

People in Walmart and the grocery store were coming up to me saying that it was a good fight and they all wanted me to win. It made me so happy that they made the effort to call out to me and tell me this! Some people came RUNNING over.

People on social media sent so many nice messages saying how inspirational I was.

Yeah, inspirational in your FAILURE!!
I accomplished my goals of 1) showing the world, Dana White, my coaches that I’ve improved. Everyone has said it. 2) I also have a UFC contract. 3) I inspire people and show what a martial artist should be like.

I argued with the voices in my head all day long for seven days. When I was a child and said something negative, my mother always always said something positive afterwards. “Well at least…” or “Look on the bright side…” or “But this thing is good!” So when I became an adult, I realized how valuable that was, and trained myself to notice if I said a negative thing, and make sure I always counter that with something positive.

It’s almost like Dark-side Light-side.

I am a Jedi and will never fall to the Dark Side.
(Yes, I saw the new movie. I loved the action scenes, the acting, the special effects, but I hated the plot.)

So I was happy with my coaches meeting. My schedule is already pretty loaded up so it’s hard for me to tweak it, but we decided I’m going to stuff another strength and conditioning session in my week. I’m also going to add one more day of private lessons with John. I’m feeling good about that plan. That plan is the staircase. I just want one built so I can start climbing it and get away from the current me.

Jiu-jitsu is an issue, though, because one of the men I chose as my teacher, Captain, no longer teaches at Syndicate, and the other man, Casey, just had ACL surgery. I mean we have other teachers at Syndicate, but you know….they’re THE ONES. It’s hard to explain. That’s still an unresolved challenge, but thankfully, does not relate to my two main goals.

You are starting to suck at gi jiujitsu!
But I love it, so I’ll just train it and then not suck. I already proved that.
You’re going to be so embarrassed training with other higher level belts!
I’m not afraid.

Last week, Syndicate hosted Rowdy Rollers, an all-female BJJ open mat that happens once every three months or so. IT WAS SO GREAT. My nose and elbow hurt a lot, but I enjoyed rolling with people. My biggest accomplishment was not getting tapped out by Tammi. lol

Great turnout!
Last week was the second week after my fight and I trained lightly. I did mitts with John and he fixed one of my steps so my strikes suddenly got more power. THAT WAS CRAZY. That one little adjustment helped my balance SO much, and the power of my hook. It was like…..WHAT?!? How is this possible!?!

A few people have told me to go to a boxing or Muay Thai gym. Um, guys, I don’t think that’s the problem.

I landed SO much. But now, if I fix my step that John is teaching me, I’ll have knockout power. You guys are gonna be so surprised.

John is my Jedi master and I will never ever leave him and Syndicate, nor do I have a desire to train striking with anyone else. So ya’ll can save your breath. 😛

My dad told me that problem solving is taking one big problem and breaking it down into steps. Go about climbing the steps one by one until you reach your goal.

So I’m enjoying teaching my kids classes again. The sad voice has quieted now that I’m training again and I feel faster already! Oh and a new girl joined our MMA team- Chelsea Rae! She’s nice, excellent work-ethic, and we’re making friends. 😀

I got to talk to my Uncle Steve for the first time in a while on the phone (we’re both so busy) and he said something I wrote down in my quote book: “Success never lasts but how you feel and live every day lasts. You are the winner or the loser of the moment. Winning is transient but it’s not what life is like.”

I’ve gotten some gifts from fans in the mail sent to my gym. Thank you for the love! I’m enjoying my restaurant gift cards very much – El Pollo Loco!! 😀 And Fuzzy’s! YAY MEXICAN FOOD!

It’s really nice to be able to eat without worrying about making weight for a while.

I went to Texas de Brazil with Casey and Ashley, the expensive Brazilian BBQ place I never go to because it’s expensive. Yay a nice treat! One time after a fight I allow myself to go.

So today is Tuesday. I had a great mitt session with John yesterday, and great MMA class. My elbow doesn’t hurt quite so much, and my nose, only slightly. I’m feeling more and more positive. I’m already different from the me who fought Nicco! Smile and carry on!!


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