Roxanne Modafferi

The Happy Warrior

busy, eventful week, Fear the Fighter shirt, training

Posted in every day, fight, friends, training on February 18th, 2018 by roxyfighter

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Last week had ups and downs!

I got kind of frustrated with a few techniques that I learned and couldn’t do. However, I remind myself – be thankful that I got through those times of failure, because I have to fail a bunch of times before I can succeed once.

I didn’t feel on the top of my game Monday or Tuesday, but I got through practice and did some stuff. I’m grateful for great coaching and great training partners. Serena was sick all week! 🙁 I missed training with her. Thanks, Chelsea, for helping me with my wrestling and jiujitsu private with Casey.

You’re a great training partner, and I’m glad we made friends! 😀 <3

On Valentine’s day, I got some chocolates and Valentine’s from my kid students! 🙂 I’m so happy and I feel loved!

Oh, a mystery fan send me roses and chocolate and poem! 😀 How sweet! Thank you, mystery fan!

I got to hang out with my friends Jack and Jan on Tuesday. We had a very nice dinner together! It was so nice getting to see them again when they come to Vegas. Thank you for the nice Valentine’s Day card, treats, and gifts! Lee, my car, gets a treat, too! 😀


I’m so fortunate to have great people in my life.

I’ve been training so hard this week. If something isn’t sore, I do some kind of exercise to make sure it gets worked and gets sore. lol In my down time, meaning when I lay down before I pass out with my shows still on, I managed to watch the movie Lucy, and a few episodes of Hozuki no Reitetsu. I’m on the last season of Transformers Prime, but it’s taken me a week to get through one 30 minute episode, because I get about 5 in before I fall asleep.

Saturday morning before open mat and kickboxing, I got to roll with Captain at the UFC Performance Institute! Thanks for spending time with me! I miss him a lot. We don’t get to see each other that much anymore since he’s training elsewhere now. I don’t miss his side-control-of-death, though. x_x (This is my ‘mean’ face. It needs work!)


Kickboxing group!

I’ve been trying to support Alexa in her fight training! She has a fight next month against Carina Damm!

I love training with her, and I want her to win her fight!

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The fight continues after the fight….

Posted in fight, friends, training on December 19th, 2017 by roxyfighter

After the fight, Dana White came over and said something to me. It was very nice, like “Great fight” etc. I thought, “Man, I wish I could record this somehow cuz I ain’t gonna remember it in five minutes.”

I was right. ;_; My brain was still in that hazy fight-zone. Once the bell rang, I knew she was going to get the decision. I didn’t get “beaten up,” and I think I landed more strikes on the feet, but I know she got some good positions on the ground, so she was going to get it. She did.

You lost. You didn’t get the title belt! You could have beaten Nicco!
I used every ounce of effort in my body to win that fight. I fought hard. Be proud.

We gave our speeches and I left the octagon. I still didn’t know where to go. People were milling around. My nose hurt. I wanted ice.

“Where am I going? Somebody lead me!” Somebody lead me towards the back. On the way out, fans leaned over the guard rail and wanted to slap my hand and take pics. I always feel bad ignoring one side to go on the other side. I slapped a few people’s hands, and then I saw my friends, so I rushed over there. I hugged them….

You’re the loser tonight. Killers are going to flood the division soon.
It was a great fight. I should be proud.

I went to my favorite restaurant with my friends. It felt great to be in a comfortable place with people I loved. I started reading my social media and saw how everybody was talking about what a great fight it was. Then somebody told me that I should have tried more takedowns, that I didn’t even try but if I tried I could have won, and analyzed the fight. That made me feel really crappy. It was too soon to analyze. That’s supposed to happen in a few days.

I’ve been here before.

Here. Mental and emotional Hell. It’s where many fighters go after a loss. It’s dark, sad, and cold.

But before long, a staircase forms. When I go back to training and change myself, I get better, so I can leave the past me behind and climb the staircase out.

The more I improve, the higher I climb. And my friends and coaches are there to give me a hand up onto the first step.

The first week after my fight, my nose was swollen but not broken, and my eye was half swollen shut.
People you meet ask you if you won and you had to tell them no.
But she looked just as bad. And it was fight of the night.

I was hoping to go back to teaching kids on Wednesday but I got a skin infection from the UFC cage mat! -_- Well ppl are walking in there with shoes on and all so I’m not surprised. At least the UFC paid my doctor’s bill. The bursa sack on my left elbow was swollen, probably from me hitting her head with it.

Too bad you didn’t win.
At least I’m not on crutches.

IT HURTS SO MUCH.

But it’s not a serious injury. Every time I bent it, it stung like crazy, or if I breathed on it or leaned on it. And my left thigh/knee hurt from twisting it before the fight, and then she kicked it a bunch of times, so it was throbbing for a week after the fight. I’m grateful those are the the worst things. I think Nicco’s foot is broken. :/ I have friends who have had their skull orbital bone broken or cracked or something.

Her foot might be broken, but at least she’s the champion. You should have been the champion. You’ve been training for longer. You’re better.
She is very skilled and trained hard, too. She’s a great person and a good champion.

So yeah. I really didn’t rest a whole lot. I mean, I didn’t train, but I went everywhere. I had so many chores to take care of, and I did a ton of things I’ve been putting off. I got my car maintenanced, hair cut, did a few interviews like the MMA Hour, and had a few meetings with my coaches.

I went about my day doing chores.
Why couldn’t you take her down?
Because….. I didn’t see the chance and I didn’t want to dive in after it.
You didn’t even try.
Yes, I did…on the cage she was stronger, and everybody else got tired trying, so I decided strategically not to force it.
No, you didn’t….you didn’t try hard enough!!
I took her down twice, dude! Did anybody else ever take her down? Just shut up.

People in Walmart and the grocery store were coming up to me saying that it was a good fight and they all wanted me to win. It made me so happy that they made the effort to call out to me and tell me this! Some people came RUNNING over.


People on social media sent so many nice messages saying how inspirational I was.

Yeah, inspirational in your FAILURE!!
I accomplished my goals of 1) showing the world, Dana White, my coaches that I’ve improved. Everyone has said it. 2) I also have a UFC contract. 3) I inspire people and show what a martial artist should be like.

I argued with the voices in my head all day long for seven days. When I was a child and said something negative, my mother always always said something positive afterwards. “Well at least…” or “Look on the bright side…” or “But this thing is good!” So when I became an adult, I realized how valuable that was, and trained myself to notice if I said a negative thing, and make sure I always counter that with something positive.

It’s almost like Dark-side Light-side.

I am a Jedi and will never fall to the Dark Side.
(Yes, I saw the new movie. I loved the action scenes, the acting, the special effects, but I hated the plot.)

So I was happy with my coaches meeting. My schedule is already pretty loaded up so it’s hard for me to tweak it, but we decided I’m going to stuff another strength and conditioning session in my week. I’m also going to add one more day of private lessons with John. I’m feeling good about that plan. That plan is the staircase. I just want one built so I can start climbing it and get away from the current me.

Jiu-jitsu is an issue, though, because one of the men I chose as my teacher, Captain, no longer teaches at Syndicate, and the other man, Casey, just had ACL surgery. I mean we have other teachers at Syndicate, but you know….they’re THE ONES. It’s hard to explain. That’s still an unresolved challenge, but thankfully, does not relate to my two main goals.

You are starting to suck at gi jiujitsu!
But I love it, so I’ll just train it and then not suck. I already proved that.
You’re going to be so embarrassed training with other higher level belts!
I’m not afraid.

Last week, Syndicate hosted Rowdy Rollers, an all-female BJJ open mat that happens once every three months or so. IT WAS SO GREAT. My nose and elbow hurt a lot, but I enjoyed rolling with people. My biggest accomplishment was not getting tapped out by Tammi. lol


Great turnout!
Last week was the second week after my fight and I trained lightly. I did mitts with John and he fixed one of my steps so my strikes suddenly got more power. THAT WAS CRAZY. That one little adjustment helped my balance SO much, and the power of my hook. It was like…..WHAT?!? How is this possible!?!

A few people have told me to go to a boxing or Muay Thai gym. Um, guys, I don’t think that’s the problem.

I landed SO much. But now, if I fix my step that John is teaching me, I’ll have knockout power. You guys are gonna be so surprised.


John is my Jedi master and I will never ever leave him and Syndicate, nor do I have a desire to train striking with anyone else. So ya’ll can save your breath. 😛

My dad told me that problem solving is taking one big problem and breaking it down into steps. Go about climbing the steps one by one until you reach your goal.

So I’m enjoying teaching my kids classes again. The sad voice has quieted now that I’m training again and I feel faster already! Oh and a new girl joined our MMA team- Chelsea Rae! She’s nice, excellent work-ethic, and we’re making friends. 😀

I got to talk to my Uncle Steve for the first time in a while on the phone (we’re both so busy) and he said something I wrote down in my quote book: “Success never lasts but how you feel and live every day lasts. You are the winner or the loser of the moment. Winning is transient but it’s not what life is like.”

I’ve gotten some gifts from fans in the mail sent to my gym. Thank you for the love! I’m enjoying my restaurant gift cards very much – El Pollo Loco!! 😀 And Fuzzy’s! YAY MEXICAN FOOD!

It’s really nice to be able to eat without worrying about making weight for a while.

I went to Texas de Brazil with Casey and Ashley, the expensive Brazilian BBQ place I never go to because it’s expensive. Yay a nice treat! One time after a fight I allow myself to go.

So today is Tuesday. I had a great mitt session with John yesterday, and great MMA class. My elbow doesn’t hurt quite so much, and my nose, only slightly. I’m feeling more and more positive. I’m already different from the me who fought Nicco! Smile and carry on!!

HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooo!

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Last week (kids BJJ tourney, training, Thxgvng) TUF 26 ep 11 blog

Posted in every day, fight, friends, fun, training, Ultimate Fighter/UFC on November 24th, 2017 by roxyfighter

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Last Saturday my friend Serena and I coached our jiujitsu students at a tournament. Scarlett ended up fighting the same girl twice and won both times, giving her first place! I don’t know why my other student Griffin decided he didn’t want to compete…. his older brother did but didn’t win. They all fought hard, though.



She immediately got o-soto-gari, got side control, got mount, and worked for the choke. Couldn’t finish it, though, so won on points.

She’s soooooooo cute. She’s small and quiet for her age (I think she’s 6, almost 7?), so I’m glad she’s doing something like jiujitsu.

My friend who I met in Japan Brittany came and visited Vegas, and we had lunch together while she was here! 😀

I promise to keep in touch better, Buri-chan! I’ve missed you.

Training this week has been really really good. I’ve been really giving all I’ve got and can feel myself improving and getting stronger every day.
Part of last week and the week before, John was in Australia cornering Jessy….by the way CONGRATULATIONS, JESSY JESS! She was signed to fight Vanessa Porto in Invicta, but then got a short-notice offer to face Bec Rawlings in the UFC, so she took the opportunity. I was really impressed with her performance!

I thought she fought really well, and earned a unanimous decision, not the split that they gave her. But whatever, a win is a win and the fight speaks for itself. It was exciting and she landed more hard strikes, plus good ground control. I had fallen asleep due to Roxalepsy on Serena’s parent’s floor waiting for it to come on, but woke right up when she came on. Good job.

So I want to thank Captain for coming in on Monday just to coach me while John wasn’t here. Word cannot express how grateful I am for the support.


And everyone else at Team Syndicate, like Jordan and Adam, who take time to teach me stuff, or work with me on the side.
Yesterday I had Thanksgiving dinner with Serena and her family. Thank you for including me! <3 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ oookay on to The Ultimate Fighter. This episode was all about Barb vs Nicco. I have so much respect for both these athletes! Nicco is my teammate and slept on the bunk above me. Barb is a fellow-early-riser and I consider her one of my biggest rivals in my MMA career. I wanted to fight Barb so badly from the very beginning, and was wondering how they would seed us. I knew I'd have to make it to the end in order to get to face her. The episode started out showing footage of the prank Eddie pulled on Justin with parking the car. I had wondered about that because I hadn't been there for it! See, that's my kind of prank. Harmless but mischievous. Well done, Eddie. It's funny that they used footage of the PI in like the second week we were there. I know this because I only worked out there once, because we had to go on our rest day, so I avoided doing Strength and Conditioning on my only day off after a massage which I desperately needed. They show me pushing the sled, and they also show Lauren with Team Alvarez.

I love how you can see our art gallery! DeAnna and Shana requested colored pencils and paper and left it on the dining room table, so everybody drew stuff in their free time.

Actually, Sarj and I fought on the same day, right before Nicco and Barb, but for some reason, the TUF crew decided to show their fight first. You can see me cutting weight in the back by hitting pads with Luke. haha

So lots of interviews and then they fought!

The fight went everywhere! There was a lot of clinch fighting and cage wrestling. In the end, Nicco did more and got the decision win. I was actually watching from across the room in the shadows, because after my fight, they made me sit off to the side where I wouldn’t be in any camera shots.

Tune in next week for the final episode and to see my fight with Sijara! There are some other things I’d like to write about, but I’m not sure if it’s gonna be shown, so I have to wait so I don’t reveal anything too soon. 🙂

hard but amazing week, and TUF 26 ep 9

Posted in fight, Ultimate Fighter/UFC on November 12th, 2017 by roxyfighter

This past week was hard because I started to catch a cold the previous Friday. I managed to rest and recover so I didn’t get a fever or anything, but I felt so drained and exhausted all of last week.

I still trained, of course, because I wasn’t in the contagious stage anymore. I had many great practices. I improved my jiujitsu with my private lessons with Captain. Man, I always feel like I level up after training with him. Did mittwork with John, always improving all aspects of my game. I feel so confident. Serena helped me with a shark tank with him in the cage, which is intensive training including striking, grappling, cage-work, and ground and pound. Serena helps me so much in training! I’m really appreciative. Lorenzo has helped me get stronger and get in great shape. I love him!

Last week my second fight aired on The Ultimate Fighter! I did an interview with the Las Vegas Review Journal with Heidi found here:
https://www.reviewjournal.com/sports/mma-ufc/roxanne-modafferi-previews-tuf-26-fight-against-emily-whitmire-video/
and then FOX sports flew me to Los Angeles to be on TUF talk! I did shark tank in the morning and hurried to the airport after that. I was so exhausted from training, plus my body finishing up killing my cold, but I think it was good for me to be on the show. It was such a cool experience!


A professional make-up artist did my make up…. I told her “natural.”



I had a dressing room with a star next to my name, next to Karyn Bryant! I got to talk to Daniel Cormier! I got to show off my Spiderman socks and explain my collection on national tv. hahaha!

The episode had my fight, Sarj vs DeAnna, and then what happened with the weight cut. Everyone was asking me what I thought of Lauren’s actions. Man, Lauren is taking a lot of heat right now. I kind of feel bad for her.
Yes, I think it was okay that she and like 5 other people started cutting weight. Yes, I think she should have vacated the sauna earlier when Sarj asked her to. BUT she apologized later. People make mistakes. All you can do is apologize for them, right? Lauren REALLY tried so hard to be cool with everybody, fighters on both teams, and the coaches, too. She was always polite when talking to people. She never exploded angrily and cussed anybody out, except when Eddie called her the wrong name. She wanted to win so badly! She wanted to fight so badly!
I also understand Sarj’s perspective, too. It’s upsetting to have someone trying to vie for your spot and opportunity, and she did have one more hour.

Unfortunately, there was only one sauna. AND only one scale.

Guys, it’s so rough to be in the TUF House. It’s a pressure cooker and there is no escape. You literally can not leave. You have no emotional support unless you made close friends while on the show. Someone on Twitter once said that my TUF blogs sounded negative, and what was wrong?

It’s REALLY HARD and not exactly pleasant to be locked away with no freedom, having to do exactly what the staff tell you to do, without your team, etc. I wanted my team, my gym, Taco Bell, my anime, my friends, everything. At least I had my pillow! Actually, this experiences wasn’t that bad for ME. The staff were really polite and bent over backwards to do what they could to make us comfortable and happy within the limits of their power. I’m really grateful for all their efforts.

I never like calling fights. When someone asks me who I think will win, I never really am convinced anyone will win. Anyone can beat anyone at any given time! Even if you analyze their skills and strengths. I fought Jessica Rakoczy on Season 18 She was 1-2 as a pro MMA fighter and beat me, and I was like 15-9 or something, I forget.

I know who I WANT to win. I really liked Sarj but I knew DeAnna personally from before so I wanted her to advance. I always just tell the questioners that my friend will win. lol I was so shocked at that head kick KO! It was…stunning. I thought Sarj was a boxer. Whelp, I guess she can kick, too! Damn! Well, I kind of didn’t want to fight DeAnna again because I had already fought her and won, but on the other hand I thought I would win again so that would be good…but I didn’t want her to LOSE to Sarj, which would be what would have to happen for us to NOT fight again.

That was a long sentence. Did you get that? lol

There were actually two fights that day. I had gone first, so I got to watch the second one from off to the side in the corner near the doctor check area.

About my fight, I knew Emily had skills. I thought I probably had more since I’d been training for longer. She also only fought at 115, so I figured I wouldn’t get out-muscled. I can’t say I thought I’d be stronger, because physical strength is not one of my strengths. (is that… a pun? not sure. moving on…)

When I got out there….man, I missed Coach John’s voice in my ear telling me what good combinations to throw.

He is the gamer. I am his character. He shouts it, I throw it. We are connected. It’s really cool. This time, I just kind of did my striking by instinct… for better or for worse! I did hear Luke Caudillo (on Team Gaethje) who gave pretty good advice which I followed. Of course when playing any video game, you gotta get used to the controls. He did a great job for a fighter he’d only been training for three weeks. I heard Vinny’s voice perfectly, and he did a fantastic job of jiujitsu cornering. I’m so grateful to them. I think I would have gone nuts if I hadn’t met Luke, who holds pads and coaches similar to John. He also took the time to give me reassuring talks. So grateful.


Maia was always by my side during weight cut, and helping me warm up before my fight. Thank you, my friend! I miss you! <3
Anyway, I had never actually trained with Emily ONCE because she hurt her rib right as I was getting back to training after my first fight. She probably saw me doing my spinning backfist stuff while she was training elsewhere. I complimented her on her ducking under it and shooting later, and she said, “I saw you thinking about it.” That’s kind of a cool statement.

No, that was not the Roxynado. I gotta be more careful in the future that people don’t read my super attacks.

One interviewer asked me if I felt her giving up in the fight. Um, no? I wasn’t really trying to sense her feelings. I was just trying to hit her as much as I could so the ref would stop the fight. People online are saying I suddenly am “vicious” or have a “new killer instinct.” I don’t really think so… I just know how to throw ground and pound better thanks to Coach John. It was one week after my fight against Mariana Morais in Invicta, where I was hitting her and hitting her and Big John McCarthy WOULD NOT STOP THE FIGHT. He whispered to me in the corner walking by, “You’re not hitting hard enough.” So I said to Coach John later, “Please teach me how to ground and pound better so the ref stops the fight so I don’t have to keep hitting her” And oh he did.

Once in the cage, I’m switched on. I’m no longer kind “Roxy,” I’m “Warrior” in The Happy Warrior, who has struggled, sweat, cried, bled, and bore the pain to get where she is now, to win, to prove herself. I feel no emotions in the cage until time is up.


I’m glad I won. I was just so relieved.

oh btw what was with not showing my weigh in clothes? Maia did my make up, and I wore her black dress which was SUPER tight because it was two sizes too small for me….. and I pretended like I didn’t wanna take it off. It had a zipper down the front. I am shy so it was hard for me, but that was my ‘weigh in dress up’ deal I did. Oh well….

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TUF 26 Episode 1: Roxy’s blog

Posted in fight, Ultimate Fighter/UFC, Uncategorized on September 2nd, 2017 by roxyfighter

When I walked into the TUF gym for the first time…for the SECOND time as a contestant, I thought, “Welcome to the jungle. Here I go again. This time, it’ll be different.”

We saw Eddie Alvarez and Justin Gaethje standing before us on either side of a big TV screen. I admit I fan-girled over Eddie a little bit at first. I’ve been watching him fight for years, and it turns out that we started fighting the same year, 2003, within months of each other! I wanted to be on his team so badly. I knew Justin was the WSOF champ and an exciting fighter, but didn’t know much about him personally.

On the way over, I had said to DeAnna, “Hey, when we are paired up for evaluations, do you wanna be partners? Since we already fought, you already know my game….” I was, not nervous, but I guess you could say wary, because we didn’t know the teams yet. I’d train with my teammates no problem, but I didn’t know who I was fighting first, so I didn’t wanna show them my favorite moves. DeAnna was all for it. When we got split up, we were in different groups. I politely told the staff that DeAnna and I would like to work together, so could we change groups? The friendly staff politely replied no, go with my assigned group. ^^;;

dang it

So I made a bee line for Rachael Ostovich-Berdon, who I was friends with on Instagram. I had posed with her many times at Invicta in our weigh-in costumes. lol

(I screen-capped the episode so images are copyrighted TUF or UFC or whoever)

We were with Team Gaethje’s coaches first. Justin, his striking coach Trevor Whittman, his training partner and wrestling coachMatt Lopez (current UFC fighter), striking coach Luke “Lil’ Hulk” Caudillo (former UFC/Strikeforce/etc fighter), and Vinny Magalhaes BJJ trainer! (fighter and my former teammate!).

Whaaaaat! VINNY?! I gave him a big hug.

Matt had us do strikes into take-down fit ins, to test our ability. Matt took turns going with each of us at least once. Then, we did rounds on the heavy bags observed by Luke. Trevor and Justin sat on a bench and briefly interviewed us. Why do we fight? Our motivation. Our heroes. etc I was impressed. It seemed very thorough.

Throughout this process, I kept hearing crashes and commotion coming from the cage area. (We were on the grappling mats.) “Dang, what are they doing over there?” I thought, about Team Alvarez evaluations. Then they went over to the treadmill and had the fighters run.

After one hour passed, we switched. I admit I was a little nervous …. I got to chat briefly with Eddie and he asked me about living in Japan. He had fought in Japan! Then he said, “OKay gear up. You’re sparring. 70%!”

I was like, “ummmmmmmmmm oh crap.” None of us had trained at all in a week before hand. I didn’t really WANT to spar someone since I didn’t know who I’d be fighting. I didn’t trust people to go easy….I didn’t want to go hard. I didn’t want to get beat up because I was going easy and they were going hard.

My first partner was Sijara. I remember chatting with her during the tryouts. She was so cool! A black belt in BJJ, we both agreed that if we’d get into the house, we’d bring our gi’s and try and get some gi training in. “Hey, Sijara,” I said, putting on my shin guards and she her helmet. “Sooo Eddie said 70% but that seems a bit much. Do you wanna go like 50% or something? Just show our technique?”

She smiled at me. “Oh no, he said 70%, so that’s cool! Let’s just do that!”

crap. ;_; alrighty then!

It really sucked. There was a heavybag in the middle of the cage dividing it so a few groups could go, so I barely had space. I was sliding all over the slippery plastic flooring since it wasn’t quite canvas… “Okay okay what do I know about Sijara?” I asked myself as we started testing jabs. I had followed her on instagram and she posted all these pics of her with her boxing coach. “Okay boxing boxing boxing….” suddenly I was in a front headlock …guillotine…or something. She had my neck and I couldn’t move. lol “JIUJITSU BLACK BELT!” My brain screamed at me. It was kind of a stalemate since I couldn’t move because of the headgear, and our gloves were so bulky she couldn’t quite get a blood choke. I forget if I tapped to get her to let go or if it was a crank or what but I survived that and then we switched partners. I think I sparred Maia? She was so fast. I was getting lit up when I stood in front of her. I couldn’t move well. I didn’t want to hit her back too hard! I looked horrible. Then I went with Rachael and she did some beautiful take downs and spinning stuff and finally I was tired of getting beat up because I couldn’t get my aggressiveness going, and I think I was like “RAAAAR” and flurried hard and took her down. I think it was Rachael I was sparring with. My memory isn’t the best under stress. lol I mean, Eddie is right when he says it’s the best way to see people’s abilities…I just… x_x wasn’t ready.

Anyway, then Eddie said he wanted to test our fitness by having us do sprints. My heart monitor thingies didn’t read my pulse, which is frustrating, but just another part of being the vampire that I am. (can’t eat garlic, look the same as in younger pictures, etc)

After we finished evaluations, I actually hoped that Justin would pick me for his team. My biggest anxiety was not having John Wood coach me. My second biggest anxiety was that my training partners would go too hard in training and hurt me, or we’d train too hard and I couldn’t recover and would get hurt and then everyone would hate me as a partner….surely Vinny would also put in a good word for me? I’ve heard Eddie was a good coach, though. I was just anxious all around. Other girls were probably anxious because they didn’t know what was gonna happen, and I was anxious because I DID know what could.

Eddie won the coin toss. I thought he would pick me, so I steeled myself. He picked Barb! Then Justin picked me! I was so excited!!
Look at Vinny smiling in the background behind Justin. 🙂

On top of that, he opened my envelop and said I was the number 1 seed! How cool!! That was so cool! I thought I would be in the top 4 but didn’t expect to be the first seed.

Later the interviewers asked me if I was surprised, and my first reaction was to say, “I’m not surprised, mother-fudgers!” That would have been hilarious. But even as a joke, I didn’t want to appear arrogant, so I just shrugged and reworded my answer.

After we all got picked, we got driven to the House mansion! THERE WERE PILLARS and STATUES and a ping pong table and a stone table like in Narnia! There was so much vegetation! Huge pantry!

Two fridges! So amazing.
On the way over, I asked, “Whoever goes to bed early, let’s be in the same room.” Maia, Nicco, and Rachael spoke up. Thanks, Nicco, for taking the top bunk, because I always roll out of bed in the morning since I’m used to a Japanese futon being on the floor. And I didn’t want to die one morning forgetting I was six feet in the air. LOL

We had a huge closet Maia nicknamed “The Treehouse” because we often sat in there and chatted. lol

Every morning I woke up, ate breakfast, drank tea, digested that for a few hours, and put on sweat clothes, then went for a walk. I mixed in sprints to get my heart-rate up and break a sweat. After I had a good sweat going, I did yoga stretches, hoping to imitate my hot yoga classes that are so good for my back and shoulders and neck.
(That’s why I’m wearing a hat…to sweat. Not to be weird. I am weird, though, but that’s okay.)

I’ve suffered from nagging injuries, but thanks to yoga, my massage therapist Teri, strength training, stretching, and avoiding wrestling class, I’ve barely suffered for the past two years. Shout-out to Vegas Hot! Yoga and Pilates studio! Love you guys. Best yoga joint in Vegas. http://vegashot.com/

I was already in great shape going into the house, so I just had to keep up my condition, and do a little technique training for Shana. The coaches told me she’s a striker, so the obvious game plan would be to take her down. They said she threw low kicks so I should try and shoot in when she threw them. Alright. They had me mainly working with them, and I’m guessing it was to avoid any uncertainties of new training partners we didn’t know? I was very grateful. I know what it’s like to be a coach, and I recognized all the time and attention they were giving me.

This is Matt throwing strikes at me, and me closing the distance to take him down.
The whole group was from one gym Genesis Training Center in Colorado, except for Vinny and Miesha. They were all really positive, had really good energy, and gave off good vibes. I was still pretty anxious not having my normal coaches John and Captain around, but I just kept telling myself that I knew what I was doing, and they were with me. When you teach, you give a part of yourself to your students, so technique I did that I learned from them, is part of them. I could hear their voices and advice in my head if I summoned it.

(Captain)

The weight-cut wasn’t easy, but it was well-done and I had no problem. Maia woke up early to help me. Thanks, Maia! <3 I wore my Goku hair wig, symbolizing my love for the anime Dragon Ball Z. (On TUF Talk Bisping called it lame, but I don't mind. Of course it's lame and silly, and I'm totally okay with that! I like who I am and I'll never change. I'm just honored they're talking about me on TV! How cool is that!) anyway I relate to Goku a little with his desire to train, become stronger, and protect the ones he loves. He has a pure, childlike heart, and things are so simple to him.


I was very anxious the day of my fight. Last time I was on TUF, I fought Jessica Rakoczy. She was 1-3 coming on the show, but despite my superior experience, I still lost to her via powerbomb slam. I never take anything for granted. I never underestimate anyone. Ever!! Ever since I went to a Judo tournament in high school as a lowly orange belt and threw a brown belt ippon seionage in 5 seconds for the win, I realized what could happen in a fight.

Shana “Danger” Dobson’s striking is good. Her jab was like a homing missile for my face. I used my usual awkward movement, but I kept getting met with that dang jab.


But that’s fine, I’ve faced people with better striking before. I wasn’t gonna dive in.

I’d bide my time….and then I got the takedown and did my thing. I remember what Captain had been drilling with me regarding shoulder pressure lately.

We’d also been doing a lot of half guard passes. That’s exactly what happened in the fight! It was also great to hear Vinny in the corner. He told me in detail what to do and I pretty much did it. When I was hitting her, she was blocking a lot of my strikes, so I was wondering if the ref was going to stop it, but John always told me to just keep hitting and the ref has to. She couldn’t get out.

I’m so happy to have gotten the win, in the same way as my previous fight in Invicta May 20th a few months before.
I saw she hopped back up, not cut or injured. I was really glad.

It was such a relief to get a win. And other than a lump on my forehead, I was uninjured. It was the best possible outcome for me. The worst for her. I remember when I was on TUF 18, my friend Shayna lost early on, and had to spend 6 weeks miserable, knowing she was out of the tournament, but she couldn’t leave. I’m sorry for anyone in that situation, but that’s the nature of the jungle. Fighting is a tough sport.

I can’t wait to see the next episode next week!

Shout-out to my sponsor: webmaster, artist, poet nicknamed “wetdryvac” at http://wetdryvac.net/w/
Here are some samples of prints he sent me that he has for sale. He also built my website, and upkeeps my chat room.