Roxanne Modafferi

The Happy Warrior

what “champion” means

Posted in fight, friends on June 21st, 2017 by roxyfighter

Work ethic.
My friend Serena and I have many things in common: a love of anime, nachos, ice cream, food in general, MMA, fighting, movies, we’re apartment mates, etc., but one of the most unusual things we have in common is work ethic.

We both train every day. Until we drop. There’s a burning force that drives us to the gym, whether we are energetic, exhausted, injured, or sick (if we’re sick, we don’t wanna spread it so that’s the only time we won’t go.) If we don’t train what we think of as ‘enough,’ some little voice inside says something along the lines of, “You lazy weakling, you suck! You could be doing more!”

Coach John likes to say that “The sh*t you’d rather not be doing, is probably what you need to be doing the most of!” Whether that be striking for the grapplers, or grappling for the strikers, or strength training, etc.

Serena and I do it. And we’ve been improving our skills, thanks to our amazing and supportive coaches, and wonderful training partners.

As you all know, I’ve been on a winning streak. And Serena? She’s been improving SO much, and it killed me that she lost her previous fight because despite showing that improvement, she didn’t get the W. In addition to normal training challenges, she has to deal with being autistic. I can’t possibly understand how it feels because she puts it as “the brain being wired differently.” She’s sensitive to senses, like light, noise, stimulation, etc. Maybe similarly to how a non-depressed person can’t understand a clinically depressed person because we don’t have their chemical imbalance. It’s not a matter of “just cheer up.” Everybody has their own hurdles they have to jump over, and the mountain they have to climb to reach the top has it’s own rocky or jungle terrain to fight through.

This weekend at Tuff-N-Uff Serena showed me such heart as I have never seen before. She cut weight – that was the first battle, and showed me the heart of a champion and got through hell to get to heaven on the other side. Yes, it was hell. Hot tub sauna hell. x_x And I went in there with her. Because that’s what friends do.

Haha Serena this pic I found on google is appropriate, especially since I’m a vampire…

Anyway she went out and fought a tough girl and dominated. Not only did she won, but she won well, and she showcased lots of the technique she’s been fine-tuning and polishing. Her striking, her sense of distance, her counters, her take-down defense, cage control, it was all so beautiful. When they announced her unanimous decision victory, I cried a little.

She has a champion’s attitude. People can win or lose fights, but you don’t just become a champion for nothing. She really earned this. She works SO hard. She tries to be a good role model (except when she’s being a bad influence on me and trying to turn me to the Dark Side).

It was nice to see her mother and little huge brother this weekend. They flew in from Philadelphia for her fight and were a big support.

I’m so so SO proud of you, Serena! SO HAPPY for you!! You helped me win my fights, and I’m thrilled to help you win yours. Let’s keep working towards our next goals!

Invicta prep! Mental challenges, my student, Rowdy Rollers BJJ, team, choked out, sponsors

Posted in dream, every day, fight, friends, fun, training on May 13th, 2017 by roxyfighter

Do you ever get that day where you’ve been working hard and one day you feel like crap and you decide to stay home and take a day off from exercising because you know you’d just have a bad performance and it’s better to rest up and be better the next day?

That’s the smart thing to do, but I never do it. I cannot rest.

I’d rather go and fail or do poorly, than not go. “You can’t ‘not even try!'” I would tell myself. Even my dad said to me one time, “Resting is difficult for Modafferis.” Everyone with my dad’s bloodline is constantly on the go. You should hear about what my Aunt Connie does daily… raised three kids while working as an elementary/middle school music teacher full-time, taught private piano lessons daily after school, taught choir after school (or what is school chorus? whichever!) and on weekends at the church AND THE SCHOOL, and SANG masses at her church…

She’s amazing. I don’t think she knows that I admire her. I love my Modafferi bloodline, but I’m also glad I have my mom’s bloodline, too. Her family is long-lived…. everyone’s lived into their 90s, and my grandfather was 102 when he passed. Maybe I’m not a vampire after all, but her blood is keeping me looking young. Or maybe she’s a vampire?!?!

But I digress.

Two Thursdays ago, I kinda lost it. I was so mentally tired. I’m not afraid to say it because most people don’t know about what a fighter goes through mentally. Taking care of yourself mentally is just as important as physically, for fighters and non-fighters alike. I found a pretty good balance in my normal life, but when I fight prep, my rest periods go towards conditioning.

I’ve been told that if a fighter doesn’t cry or have a fit at least once in their training camp, they’re not training hard enough. I’ve been doing MMA, jiujitsu, conditioning, plus teaching my kids jiujitsu and privates for weeks on end, only skipping martial arts on Sunday. But that’s my yoga day (I hate yoga so I’m still forcing myself to ‘train,’) and chore day.

Thursday I did my stairs conditioning, went into BJJ, felt unmotivated but did it anyway because BJJ is life, and then did MMA class. My mind was just so tired. I felt like the past weeks were one continuous day. I’d been sleeping but I felt like I hadn’t, you know?

I remember standing in front of my first sparring partner, Serena, raising my hands, hearing John say “Work Time!” and a little voice in my head said, “Again? I don’t want to do this right now….”

Damnit. Whenever the audible voice pops up in my head, it’s bad news. I haven’t heard myself think for ages. It’s something that shows I’m not focused, that I haven’t tapped into my subconscious instinct for feeling the fight.

We sparred and I performed like crap. In the second round, I sparred with Jessy, and performed like crap. One time she hit me and I saw flashes of white. After that round, that was it.

(Jessica happened to be taking pictures during my horrible round. ug! noooo)

I went into Casey’s office and cried on him for two rounds. -_-

It was weird because nothing was really wrong. I was so excited about everything. I was too excited. I was excited about my fight – great camp, no injuries, I’m in phenominal shape! My personal life is fine, my kids classes are spectacular, the UFC is opening 125, my future looks bright… “Why…am…I…crying?” I cried to Casey. lol My mind seemed solid, but my emotions were tired and my body was just randomly crying.

There was a disconnect there.
I’m gonna make fun of myself with a “feels” meme now.

“You know,” Casey said, “You are one of the most mentally strong people I know. It takes a lot of mental strength to do what you do.”

I keep thinking back to college, where I was SO stressed out because I had to juggle tons of classes, studying, part-time job, training, personal life, etc. I thought that was the most stressful time of my life. But I guess it’s not fair to compare stresses in different time-periods, just like it’s not fair for two people to compare their stresses. We are different people at different stages of our lives. If you’re stressed, you’re stressed. Don’t belittle it. Saying, “You shouldn’t be stressed because I just got fired and my pet died and my boyfriend left me” really doesn’t make me feel any less stressed, and in fact, makes one feel guilty.

Anyway. I felt a little better after that. Thank you, Casey, for always being there for me. He suggested I stop training for the day. (It was my third session of the day anyway) but then one of my favorite Rob Zombie song came on, and I felt the need to redeem myself. It’s never too late. One of my favorite quotes came from Ronda Rousey when she said, “Training to be a champion on your worst day.” On my honor as a martial artist, I will finish the class.

So I sparred with Mike, and I had a great match! Really great. I felt reinflated, if that makes sense. Thanks, Casey, thanks Mike, thanks Rob Zombie. Then I did the drilling cool down at the end and can say proudly that I finished class and didn’t give up.

I was kind of hiding from Coach John during class… I didn’t want him to see me cry. ._. Later when I talked to him, he said the same thing as Casey. “Fighters aren’t always going to have perfect days every day. It’s just one of those days.”

I went home and took an ice bath (gah!) and watched Transformer movies online for the rest of the day. lol Lorenzo had been telling me to take a break, but I had no time to take a break! I’ve been going non-stop….lucky I haven’t gotten sick.

Friday I had a really hard conditioning session with Lorenzo. x_x ug. I was able to push through that with no problem. Then the weekend was a little rearranged, and I was hoping that would help me mentally recover. It did!

So Saturday I coached my student Preston at his first jiujitsu tournament. There was only one other kid in his division. He used to be hesitant to do takedowns, and if he felt himself failing, he would fall on his butt (and promptly get mounted) rather than risk being thrown and slammed. So we’ve been training takedown strategy so much. I’m so proud of the fact that he went out there and bravely grabbed his opponent!

His opponent tried o-soto-gari, which is HIS favorite throw, so he pushed forward and tried for a single/ double leg takedown! I taught him to think o-soto, and if it didn’t work, immediately switch to the double-leg. Jessy’s been working a lot of wrestling with him, too. He started the takedown but they fell awkwardly and the opponent got on top and held him down with kesa-gatame, scarf hold.

Preston managed to almost get out, but then the opponent tried to mount but Preston got half guard. WEEeeee! getting half guard instead of getting mounted was something else we trained a lot!! They got restarted in the middle. I yelled to Preston to get his guard back. He got his guard back and immediately tried for the choke! He’s so good at it! His opponent spent the next minute fending off his choke.

Preston couldn’t get it and unfortunately lost on points. 🙁 The opponent was really good…really smooth. Seemed too good. I asked casually to the coach next to me, “How long has your student been training?” He said, “Oh two years.”

What? Excuse me, but usually a student training for two years doesn’t have a white belt with only one stripe on it……………………………..or compete in a white belt division… just saying……………

But that makes me even MORE proud of Preston for doing so well against an opponent with over double the experience he has.

So on Monday, I promoted Preston to gray-white belt.

The IBJJF guidelines say after 6 months the kids get a new belt, but I think that’s too soon to learn the basics. I want my gray belts to be strong and have a good base, especially if they’re gonna compete. I have a list of techniques they have to know. And Preston knows them. Preston has been training for about 7 or 8 months, and he’s learned so fast because he comes literally every day and does private lessons with me twice a week.

I’m so so proud of him!!

On Sunday, I went to Las Vegas Rowdy Rollers, an all-female open mat organized by Mylene from Chris Engle’s BJJ school.

I had such a great time!

I love Mylene! She’s so cool and skilled and nice and talented. *_* Last January? when I rolled with her, I was a purple belt and she was brown.
This time, she was black and I was brown and she STILL whooped my butt, but I felt like I didn’t get whooped quite as badly? Maybe it’s my imagination. I think I fixed some mistakes, but it’s hard for me to remember. She had given me some tips so I really wanted to show that I had improved.
Jiujitsu is fun!!

And I rolled with this lady only known as “Tammi” and when I went home and googled her, I found that she’s some BJJ world champion who beat Mackenzie Dern at one point? Holy cannoli! That’s why she wiped the floor with me. hah! Tapped me out with this nifty shoulder lock from guard.

Monday I felt back to normal!! Alexa Connors joined Syndicate and Monday was the first day we trained together! I love training with her! Thanks for the training and welcome to Syndicate!

We really have a great team of female fighters at Syndicate. Here’s another pic of another day, and Serena and Alexa aren’t even in the pic…

Also had a great mitt sessions with John this week, and shark tanks. I was on fire this week. Hard training, solid mentally. I know I’m well-prepared for my fight against Sarah D’lelio. It’s next Saturday! Broadcast on Fightpass. I leave on Wednesday.

I hope this is the official fight poster…it’s cool. My face is on it. XD

These photos taken by Jessica Bakan, our resident photographer. (She is also for hire, if anyone needs a professional photographer for profile pictures, weddings, fashion shoots, whatever. contact Bakanphotography at )

On Monday, I was grappling with Captain. I’m pretty hard to choke, if I do say so myself. So he got me in this guillotine. I’m fighting it but it’s pretty tight. I’m still able to breathe so I’m wiggling and fighting, and I can feel him transitioning to something. I’m starting to get dizzy and fade out, so I decide to tap, but one of my arms is trapped somehow and the other one was twisted under us, so I tried to reach and tap his hands. I’m sitting at a desk in my University in Japan just finishing up a test. It was my International Persuasion class. My classmates are all around me. My friend Katie was there. Then the teacher says, “Okay everyone outside! Recess!” That’s weird, recess at this age? So I get up and file out into the grassy field and I’m chatting with people. Then the world kind of turns on it’s side and I see people grappling with each other. I’m so confused. I sit up strait and say, “Where am I? Where am I? Where am I?” like three or four times. I look around. What is going on? I see Captain staring at me and then starts to laugh. It took me about 60 seconds to realize that I got choked unconscious and that was a choke dream!! I stood up and fell back down. LOL It felt like a week had passed! I was so confused. He said he didn’t feel me tap. He said it was a head-arm triangle, realized I wasn’t moving and let me go. I don’t even remember the head arm triangle. LOL I think I went out as I was trying to tap. oops
So here’s a meme that I made earlier this year and I’ll post it in honor of this moment.

Captain’s been going out of his way to help me prepare for my fight. He planted himself next to me when we were drilling in John’s class all this week and gave me tips.

I’ve been watching My Hero Academia, a GREAT anime, and I’ll post a quote from it!

I’m very grateful to my sponsors for this fight.

Dragon Do Fight Gear, Remove it Restoration, Jenkins Jiujitsu and Aaron, Top Notch fighter and John, Nick Braccia, Fight Face Custom Mouthguards, crew, Cryohelmet , , Katie, Howard Fidler, Aardvark Painting and Robvark, Thug Life Celia, My Consumer I.T. and the Crilly family! I can’t wait to meet you guys.

my story of a girl, life, friends, and fighting

Posted in friends on April 20th, 2017 by roxyfighter

There once was a little girl trying to grow up.

And, like almost everyone else, she was different than everybody else. Also, like everybody else, she got teased. She only had one or two good friends most of the time through elementary school and middle school. Everyone else seemed to have so many friends and she was lonely a lot. Every time it was a starry night, she prayed to the brightest one like in Pinocchio, that she could have more friends. Hey, it worked for Geppetto.

When she hit high school, people weren’t as mean and even though she was an oddball, she fit in better. She found a group of six people who loved anime and video games. They were together always.

The girl was happier. They all were really into the internet and showed her how to blog and use social media. She became a midnight mIRC chat room fanatic.

The girl went away to college and started fighting professionally. Strangers started talking to her online more and more, almost everyone being really nice. The girl enjoyed meeting people online so much. She also met fans in person and they were really nice to her.

The more she fought, the more people wanted to chat online. Only a few times did she run into creepy or mean people. If they appeared, like on the Underground Forum, a bunch of White Knights chased them off for her. 🙂 The girl was happy.

Flip forward a number of years to chapter further into the story.
Facebook was invented and the girl was very active on it. She moved back to America from Japan.

She joined team Syndicate. The people were cool and welcomed her.

She felt like she belonged.

Sometimes various people wrote her messages, “Oh I would love to train with you!” and she wrote, “Sure, come to Syndicate.” People never actually made the trip. Then one day, a fan from Philadelphia wrote, “Okay, I booked my plane ticket for next month on the (insert date here.) Here’s the itinerary.” The girl was like, “Wait, you’re really coming?”

It was Serena! She visited on and off for a few years and ended up becoming one of the girl’s closest friends ever, joining Team Syndicate. Serena. The Reen. The Southpaw outlaw. Official Nacho Buddy and Anger Translator. No, we are not sisters, and no, we are not dating. lol

Flip to another chapter.
Eddie from Cage Quest flew her to Washington State to be a guest at his show. While signing T shirts at the table and smiling a lot, some buff guy asked her to put him in an ankle lock and get a picture. Suuuuure, WHY NOT?! So she posed a bunch of times with him and he was so happy and she was very amused.

He gave off the “weird but not dangerous-weird” vibe. He was Rob, from Aardvark Painting! He found her on social media and they became friends. And he wanted to help support her fighting career, but didn’t really care about his business being advertised. The girl insisted on writing something on her banner, and wrote “Aardvark Painting” in plain text.

A few fights later, he sponsored Serena and Serena’s mom came up with the little Aardvark picture. Then the girl used that plus the text “Aardvark painting” and thus, Aardvark Nation was born.

The girl also started a chat room, just like the old days. One lady joined and always typed “roxy roxy roxy” three times when she entered, so the girl always replied, “candy candy candy” and thus they became friends, not only in the chat room, but on other social media.

Also, a veterinarian who did Tae Kwon Do came into the room and they all made friends. They all started traveling to see the girl’s fights, thus the Posse was born.

A lady named Julie, emailed the girl, asking her to try out her new design of shorts “Meili Fighting” for active women. meilifighting.comThey soon became the girl’s favorite shorts and she wore them almost every training session. Then she got to meet her buddy from Twitter Patrick, who she talks about UFC and superhero shows and anime with, and so so many other people I can’t even begin to mention, Bonny, Darth Lemon Bader, Justin T, Eric & Beth from Remove it Restoration, Jay C, Mike C. and family, Jack and Jan, Eric Holden aka My favorite stalker who really doesn’t stalk me but other people talk crap about him but I like him, etc etc!!!!! so many unique people I’ve had the pleasure of meeting!

Fast forward to Invicta 14 where the Posse dressed up as Mortal Kombat characters as a surprise!! They did it again for the next Invicta she fought on.

And her coach John is also her friend who always has her back.

The girl was so happy. She went from being lonely and praying for friends, to having people who would travel the country to see her and spend time with her and dress up in crazy costumes with her.

I have stress. My life isn’t perfect. I haven’t achieved everything that I want to achieve. Sometimes the Happy Warrior cries and needs to be reminded of the positive things. But I want to take a moment and acknowledge and thank my friends and fans for making my heart so happy. If I haven’t typed your name here, it’s not because I forgot you! I just happened to talk to the above people in the last five hours so their names were first on my social media lists. hahaha <3 Lots of people say to me, "You are always smiling! Why are you always so happy?" Well, I'm not ALWAYS happy, but I'm talking to you right now, and you're being nice to me, so why shouldn't I smile?

Blog about my Fusion Fight League Fight!

Posted in fight, friends on April 3rd, 2017 by roxyfighter

I had an amazing weekend.

Serena, John, and I left on Wednesday evening, changed planes in Salt Lake city, and arrived in Billings, Montana around midnight. The promoter kindly met us at the airport and a shuttle took us to the hotel. It was nice – Big Horn Resort! There was a water park and pool but we never got to use it because it opened at 4 PM and we were always busy at night.

Tuesday, we ran into a fellow fighter named Jessica “Black Widow” Borga. She offered to drive us to walmart to get supplies, since she rented a car and we didn’t. We made friends. 😀

We started our first stage of weight cut Thursday might, which was not eating dinner or drinking, dressing in a sauna suit, jumping rope, and hitting mitts with John.

We lost about 4 pounds of water that way, then Friday we both woke up about 5 pounds over. I didn’t feel too bad! We sweat out the rest of the weight in a hot tub. Serena went to the public one downstairs but I wanted quiet privacy and osmosis with salt, so I used the hotel room bath tub like I’ve always done (since returning to America). Captain and John Switched off. Captain arrived Friday night, super late, due to a flight delay. Poor guy.

We both cut weight and Jessica and Marq P. drove us to early weigh-ins at the venue! We both made weight.

My opponent didn’t make weight. I was staring at her using the blanket to weigh in and then the staff lady told me she was 128….all I could think about was, dang, she’s so short! My reach advantage will be amazing! I didn’t even care she missed weight. My opponent’s translator told me she claimed it was her time of the month and she didn’t feel well.

Well dang, girl, that sucks. But we all go through that and that’s why you plan ahead…. mine was supposed to be this week, too, actually, but my hormones got all screwed up from extreme exertion and dieting and other females with dominant hormones around…so it came early…. too much information? lol 😀

I know some women have debilitating cramps and stuff so I feel bad for them….but it’s not my problem. Pop those pain pills and carry on. My friend was like, “You should kick her in the uterus!” LOL Empathizing too much is a weakness of mine, so I worked hard at shutting off my emotions and entering into my Jedi state. She wants to fight, so let’s fight. I’m glad she took the fight with me! They had a hard finding me an opponent, so I’m grateful to her. I got $50 for every pound she missed, which turned out to be way less than 20% of her purse, which kinda sucked. It was in my contract but I didn’t really think about it when I read it.

We went to a Ribs place and ate a lot. 😀 Rob, Sheryl, Candy, and Katie joined us! so did Jessica and her coach. Fun times!

Then we went back, I got my hair done by the wonderful ladies of Beauty Mark salon! They sponsored the event and have great people, so if you are in Billings, please go!

Rob drove us to Hudson’s bar for the mock weigh in! I looked less defined since I re-hydrated and ate a lot, but whatever.
Thanks for the socks, Marq!!

omg look at the size of Serena’s freaking BICEP!! O_O;;;
Then we ate at Applebees joined by Bonny and family, Serena got HER hair done, and we went to bed.

Saturday, fight day, we woke up, ate, and went to the ZooMontana. Hah I did a 360. “I absolutely do not want to go to a zoo. Okay I really want to go to the zoo. let’s hurry up and leave now.”

haha If I were an animal in a Zoo, I’d want to live there. It was basically just fields and scattered trees with fences around it where the animals lived. Very natural. No hard concrete floors like some inner city zoos. The bears were playing either each other. The tigers were strolling around and didn’t look unhappy. There wasn’t a huge variety, but I enjoyed our nature walk and it distracted me from being nervous before my fight.

Ate subway sandwiches.

Took a nap from 2 PM to 3 PM, then got revved up to fight, and went to the venue at 5.

We found our locker room and waited. We were joined by Jessica Borga and Dayna Kelly. I loved sharing a room with those ladies.

Amateur fights tend to be shorter than pro fights, so I felt like I didn’t have to wait a really long time, but I still fought around 10 PM. Serena was two fights before me. I was mentally prepared but had to work hard a shutting off my emotions. She’s my best friend so I always get so nervous before her fight and care so much. But I knew she was in capable hands with John, and Captain was there to support, too. I watched a little from the side, between my trying to warm up and pacing. She did SO well! Her technique has come a long way from even her previous fight. I could see her applying movement, cage technique, blocking, etc. The first few rounds she dominated. Then the other girl started rallying and blitzing more in the final rounds. I still thought Serena won but the other girl won the decision. Gah!

I worked so hard to shut off my emotions and just focus on myself. ;_; Then Jessica lost a tough fight…I was sad! Fighting is hard, man! I feel for my friends.

No emotions, no emotions. Peace. Serenity. Like a Jedi.

Alright. My fight time. I felt great. Warmed up. No injuries. I’ve never felt more healthy. Thank you massage therapist Teri “Helping Hands,” and Luke for the shoulder exercises I still do that have strengthened me. Thank you Lorenzo for the conditioning training.

I walked out to the theme song for the anime Fairy Tail and it was cool.

I expected her to come charging forward throwing wild hooks. She didn’t really. As expected, my range was so much longer. I was able to land jabs, and then pull out when she tried to counter with hooks. I landed a lot more than I thought I would. And then suddenly she threw a hard jab and it snapped my head back. lol In all her other fights, I never really saw her throw a straight punch so it caught me by surprise. I almost laughed. John told me he almost laughed, too. I heard him call out “head movement” and I was like, oh yeah, that’s right. lol We exchanged a lot. She did land a hard hook on my right side and it rocked me for a second, but I pretended it didn’t. She tried to bully me into the cage but I reversed it.

You can’t hold a Syndicate fighter on the cage. 🙂

I ended up taking her down and landed elbows and grounding and pounding from inside her guard.

She trapped my hands and I knew I was in danger for an armbar so I tried to keep my elbows in. But she didn’t throw one up or attack one, so after a while (time seems so much faster in a fight, for me it was a ‘while’ but probably was like 3 seconds) I just kept grounding and pounding. Then she threw up her leg for an armbar. I immediately stacked her to defend and tried to immobilize her hip movement.

I heard John yell “Twelve seconds!” so I thought, “Alright, I’ll just ride it out here rather than risk getting unbalanced trying to escape.” Then I heard some commotion and the overhead announcer comes on and says, “This is a pro round with 5 minutes…” and I hear John holler, “NINETY SECONDS!” wait, what? lol which one? Then he yelled, “Two minutes!”

CRAP, That means I need to start getting out of this arm bar! The set up was pretty good and she really had my arm tightly, but I stacked hard and managed to defend it.

John later told me that he started screaming at the ref that they forgot to reset the clock from all the other ammy matches, which were 3 mins, to me, the only pro, who goes for 5 minutes. HAHA.

I got mount.

Then she rolled over. I got her back? I forget which round this happened in now. Thanks for the great pics, Katie.

In my mind, I heard Capitao’s voice say, “When I take the back IT’S ALL OVER!” I want that to be said about me.

She was tying up my hands and I couldn’t quite get under her chin. I almost got the choke a few times but she managed to hand fight, and I didn’t wanna burn out my arms cranking on something that wasn’t there. So we rolled over and I started hitting her head with punches and elbows.

Of course I was aiming for the sides but she kept turning her head and I landed one on the back of her head. CRAP that’s illegal because it’s dangerous.
Ref: “Watch the back of the head!”
yeah I know. Okay, crap crap, punch the sides, okay elbow CRAP SHE TURNED HER HEAD AGAIN. god damnit!

The ref stopped the fight and stood us up. I was like, “SORRY SORRY SORRY!” to both of them. Usually the ref scolds the offending fighter, but he just said to me, “Yeah ok go stand over there…” and gave her a minute to recover. 🙁

Remember, Roxy, every time you step into the cage or onto a mat, you leave your emotions outside. No anger, no sorry, no revenge, no feeling. Don’t feel guilty, don’t feel bad, don’t feel anything. It was an accident.

John’s voice in my memory: She wants to be here. There’s nobody holding a gun to her head saying ‘you have to fight!’

I managed to keep the voice in my mind silent and resumed as if nothing had happened.

I forget how the round ended. I forget if this was the first or second round. Anyway, in the second round I managed to take her down with a cool trip John taught me a while back off the cage. Got side control. I heard everything my cornermen were saying. This was funny..

John: get mount!
Capitao: Go for the arm bar!
John: Get mount!
Capitao: Go for the arm bar!
John: Mount!
Capitao: Arm bar!

Roxy: **Which one?!? **

lol I always default to John, so got mount and did gnp, but ironically, Captain had JUST drilled with me last week on how to pinch my knees and pin her on her side and gnp if she tries to turn over, and that’s exactly what happened. Then…

Captain: 30 seconds, Roxy, arm bar!

Have confidence in your jiujitsu. Capitao gave you a brown belt for a reason.

I went for the arm bar. I got the position! She locked her arms! I started working to break her grip!
Captain: Put your foot over her arms.

Oh yeah, that attack! I did it! Her arm popped out. omg. I grabbed her wrist and started cranking it. She didn’t tap. Slowly pull harder. She didn’t tap. Her arm was all the way extended. There was like ten seconds left. damnit tap damnit . Slowly hips up. I put my muscle into it. I saw her rather than felt her tap and then ref stopped it.

YES. JIU-JITSU!!!! I won with jiu-jitsu! HELL YESSSsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

I was so happy to finish with a submission. I’ve been doing so much jiujitsu lately, too.
And I won the 125 lb flyweight belt! The actual fight meant more to me than the belt, but I can’t lie and say I wasn’t excited to get a belt. 😀

My smile looks forced here because I’m trying not to cry from happiness.

It’s a victory for me and also my coaches. They must be happy to see their student progress and succeed because of their teaching.

Hey, I’ll put in the effort but it goes to waste if not directed in the right ways, and John and Captain are the best coaches I’ve ever met in my LIFE. I’m so happy they both were able to come corner me. That’s not always the case if there are other fighters with fights at the same time. And they’re taking time away from teaching, away from their wives and kids to support me in my dream. Thank you, my heroes!

I allowed myself to feel again after that. So thrilled about my fight. So sad Serena didn’t get the W but so proud of her for her improvements.

I hope she can recognize and be glad about them because I’m impressed. She will always be my favorite training partner. She’s as motivated at me. We have the same fire and drive to get better and win.

After the fight, we had to go to the Hudson’s for me to get paid, and then we went out to eat with my team and friends. <3 I'm so glad Katie is down with helping me eat my dessert as an appetizer. FREAKING ICE CREAM NACHOS.

It was so cool that I fought in the hometown of my friend Bonny! I got to meet her family! I met her online because she sent me fanmail and we made friends. I love that. Best thing ever. Friends are my hearts desire. 🙂

I think I only slept an hour.

It made me really happy to get feedback from my coaches about the stuff I’ve improved. I’ve been working doggedly for those very things I just succeeded at.

Terril and Ryan from Fusion Fight League treated me very well and I’d love to fight for them again. Thanks to my fans and friends who came or bought the PPV, which is what makes the event possible!
My sponsors REALLY helped me out financially for this fight. Thank you!

Remove it Restoration, Cryohelmet, Aardvark Painting, Jenkins jiujitsu, Smoking Gnu, My Consumer I.T. and THE TWENTY EIGHT who bought me autographs or donated!

My elbow is swollen for obvious reasons and my ear is cut and swelling from her hook (she hits HARD) but that’s it and it’ll heal fast. I can’t wait to get back to training! 😀

I have a fight! my training, sponsors, etc

Posted in every day, fight, friends, training on March 14th, 2017 by roxyfighter

I’m so excited I have a fight coming up! I’m still under contract with Invicta but they allowed me to take this fight with Fusion Fight League. It wasn’t easy finding an opponent, but finally Priscila De Souza was finalized.

It’s in Montana and won’t be televised, so you gotta go buy tickets! Serena was also given a fight on the amateur section! That’s pretty cool a card can have both, and how often do a a pro-friend and ammy friend get to fight on the same day?

Actually I wish we weren’t because I’m super emotionally involved in her fight and I get really nervous. But I guess it can’t be helped at this point. :/ I’m trying to be positive about it.

It’s gonna be fine. John’s gonna take care of us so I won’t be nervous. She’s been trying to get a fight for a while now, too. She has improved SO Much. I can’t wait to see her fight again!

I’m going with Coach John, and I’m flying in Captain because each team gets only one cornerman paid for. Most promotions have that rule.

You might see me posting about sponsorship. I don’t know how aware the average fan is, but the sponsorship scene has changed so much over the years I’ve been fighting. Back in the day like 10 years ago when the UFC was shown once every month or every two months, the fighters got thousands of dollars for wearing brand name shorts like Sprawl, Tapout, Affliction, etc. Then the market got saturated with fighters and brands and the companies realized that they weren’t making enough money back from such advertisement to justify spending such big money. So they cut back. And got picky with which fighters. Many fighters didn’t make an effort to show off their sponsors before and after the fights. Sometimes, fighters’ money they made from sponsorship was greater than their fight purse! I’m taking like over $50,000! Then the Reebok deal happened and UFC fighters were no long allowed to wear sponsors and only got like $2,500. From $50,000 to $2,500. Crazy, huh?

So my manager stopped being able to find me any good sponsors, and I started seeing fellow fighters posting on Facebook, ‘Who wants to sponsor me? E-mail me!” I thought, well, why don’t I try it?

And I started getting sponsors! Fans who owned small companies would give me some cash to put their logo on my clothes. Fans who didn’t own a company would contribute to put their name on my shorts or banner to show support. It adds up. In my last four fights in Invicta, I can say that other than Dragon Do, Cryohelmet, and Herbal Papaya, every single one of my sponsors was a fan. Well actually, the owner of Herbal Papaya contacted me because she was a fan. I am fan sponsored!


But I think I’m good for unique companies like Herbal Papaya and Cryohelmet because I do have a large social media following and they have unique products that are specifically good for me and the people who follow me. Everybody already has shorts. But do you have a product that can boost your immunity and help digestion like Herbal Papaya, or sooth headaches and migraines like Cryohelmet?!?

Someone suggested starting a gofundme account, but honestly, I wouldn’t do that because I’m not broke and I don’t wanna seem like I’m begging for money. No one is forcing me to fight. I do it because I love it. So I wanna do things that people will enjoy, like making my autographs accessible to buy, or putting someone’s name on my banner which will be shown on TV. 🙂

(click to enlarge) is one of my biggest, most consistent sponsors!
They’re also sponsoring Serena, Captain, and Naldo, so we took a group picture wearing their patches.

And this is me at this very moment typing this blog, wearing one of my two Cryohelmets.

(btw if you use the code: ROXYFIGHTER on the Cryohelmet website you get 15% off for the next month)

Anyway. So if you wanna buy this autographed photo, you can paypal $25 to and include your address! Or if you are interested in more, email me. And because money isn’t everything, even emailing me a “good luck” will make me super happy. 😀

I realized today that I started out this week with a faulty mentality. Last week I overworked myself to the point where I got sick, so I told myself this week I would take it down a notch. Also, John is away cornering Jessy in South Korea, and I’m super unmotivated to do striking when he’s not around. Today, while trying to do kickboxing, I realized that I mentally gave myself an out, so I tried to rev myself back up. However, I think I was still a little burned out from last week because I didn’t even feel aggressive while doing jiu-jitsu, and that’s rare.

I had such a headache that got worse after warm-ups, that every time I was hit, contact or blocked, my head would pound. Then everytime I landed a strike, namely on the heavy bag, my head felt like it was going to explode. It freaked me out because I’ve gotten a concussion before, and even though I KNOW today was just a neck-tension headache, I felt horrible.

Training to become a champion on your worst days, right?
I really wanted to go home after jiujitsu but didn’t.

Despite hating striking in general when John isn’t here, I actually really liked Tom’s ideas he was communicating today. I was trying to hard to give myself a goal during training, and ended up giving myself poor ones: don’t let my kicks get caught, and work on feints. They were poor because I didn’t specify how many kicks or how many feints, like “make someone bite on my feint successfully five times.” This locked me into a 100% success ratio expectation, so when someone caught a kick, I felt like I had failed. As I was getting my Cryohelmet out of John’s freezer in his office to try and recover a bit between rounds 2 and 3, I felt like such a loser and failure. Then I asked myself, “Okay, so how many times did you actually do it?” I looked back and realized that I had succeeded quite a lot, but my brain conveniently forgot about those times. I did a lot of good stuff, but my emotions weren’t giving me credit for them.

In the middle of the 4th round, I was going with Tony. Suddenly I heard Captain’s voice erupt from my right, “Let’s GO Roxy!”

I literally felt power enter my body. It was crazy, and very interesting.
He’s training for his own fight so he hadn’t come in today for class, but came in to hit mitts with Naldo.

I am very affected by 1) my trainers’ presences 2) music
I’m also 100% certain I could have ignored my headache a bit more if Rob Zombie was playing rather than the dumb rap and slow instrumentals that have been on in John’s absence.

Oh yeah, I didn’t tell about Tom’s goals yet. So he had us do combos but notice our how opponent blocks, or reacts. Then try and feint them and throw something else. It seems so simple, but we don’t often focus on JUST noticing specific patterns of our training partners. So I gave up my two goals and for the last two rounds adopted those, and man! I had so much success! Then Tom had us do rounds of only power punches.

I’m really proud of myself, despite feeling mentally sluggish and having a headache, I still got great practice in.

I canceled my Portuguese lesson today and I’m so glad, I can just lay down. I actually went food shopping instead. x_x and mailed out some autographs. Wait, so that means I’m not actually resting? I’m SO BAD AT RESTING. I need someone to lock me in my apartment. x_x

My Brazilian Brother Naldo held mitts for me on Monday. I really only want John to hold mitts for me, but I’ve found that if I don’t hit mitts on Monday, it doesn’t rev up my brain for kickboxing and I’m super unmotivated to do it for the rest of the week. Plus I was curious about Naldo, because I saw him holding for another teammate. I enjoyed my session with him! I really need to have a friendship or connection with my mitt holder to help motivate me to do it. -_- That’s another reason I asked him.


This past Sunday, I made plans with Thais (my Portuguese teacher and Captain’s wife) to go to this Brazilian restaurant Boca do Brasil, and Captain came along. It was really nice! Great food, and the garlic didn’t make me melt since I’m a vampire. (i.e. give me an upset stomach)

Captain got a short-notice fight in World Series of Fighting, so he’ll be fighting in NY this Saturday, March 18th! It’ll be shown on NBC Sports! Please watch and cheer for him! He’s on the undercard.

Also Jessy jess in South Korea vs Sarah Kaufman in Battlefront, but I don’t know how to watch that… She has also improved a ton over the recent months! I’m so excited for her to fight and win!! Go Jessy!

I’m in such great shape. I can’t wait to fight!

Jessica Bakan took this photo of me hitting mitts with John. It’s pretty cool!