Roxanne Modafferi

The Happy Warrior

big update: visiting fighter friends, belt promotion, wetland outing, birthday party wheel of doom, etc

Posted in every day, friends, fun, training on October 12th, 2017 by roxyfighter

So I left Japan at 4 PM on Friday, and arrived at 9 AM ….on Friday. Cool, you get to relive Friday, right? Wrong. I didn’t sleep at all so I got to do Friday again completely sleep deprived. u_U

I was starting to develop a skin infection, so the second I got home, I dumped my suitcase, hugged The Reen, and went straight to the Urgent Care center. Thankfully, I got strong stuff and it took care of it in a few days. But my money…!!!

Then I hightailed it to the gym, taught a private kids lesson, then my two classes. I could cover the suspicious spot thoroughly or I wouldn’t have taught.

Then collapsed in my bed.

Woke up at some ungodly hour, ate half of my normal breakfast, went back to bed, which was a huge mistake because it messed up my digestion for an entire freaking week. ;_; On Saturday I trained a little bit. I still felt wrecked from being out of my normal routine and no body care…. Then Sunday I ran stairs to get back into cardio shape, did yoga, and saw Teri and got her magical massage! 😀 Then went on a nature walk (kind of) with Serena’s family WHO JUST MOVED from Philadelphia to Las Vegas! Holy last minute change of plans! And Captain, his wife/my friend super-pregnant Thais, and their daughter Manuella!


It was really cool to see the Bakhshi family again!

Still horribly jet-lagged, I went to practice on Monday, had a normal-ish day other than sleep deprivation, and picked up Amanda Bobby Cooper (called Bobby) at the airport at 10 pm!

She was to stay for two weeks, and I was super excited. We first met when we fought on the same Invicta card a few years ago. Actually, wait, first she called me out on twitter once, very respectfully. Haha! I remember thinking, “Wow, that was a very respectful call out, but she probably wants to fight me for the publicity of it. That’s fine. She’s smart.” Then we met and got friendly, then she dropped a weight class and got on TUF 23, same season as my teammates Jamie Moyle, Khalil Rountree, and Cory Hendricks. Fast forward a few years and she Facebook messaged me about coming to train. I met Serena, my current best friend, when she messaged me about coming to train. I like this pattern. haha

Two days passed and on Wednesday my other friend Jessica Borga came, set to stay for 6 days! I met her when Serena and I fought on the Fusion Fight League card in Montana! She had rented a car and we hadn’t, and were totally screwed because we needed to get places. She drove us! Thank you! We went shopping together at Walmart, and bam, friends. 🙂

She’s fighting on Fusion Fight League Oct 20th, so tune in if you can, or go watch!

This girl Danielle from Australia has started training with us, too, so here’s a group pic of us! It’s been great!

From left to right, on top, Me, Jessica, Serena, Bobby. Under me, Danielle, then Jessy Jess.

This week was SO BUSY I’ve barely been able to lay down or keep up with my friends by text. ;_; Sorry, guys! I’ve been teaching a lot of kids and I gave a bunch stripes. I want a bunch of them to do tournaments as white belts, and then I want to promote them. They’re pretty much ready, I think?

This past Sunday, Serena and family took Jessica to Red Rock, so I went to see Blade Runner with Bobby. Great movie! I wish I had rewatched the first one before going, but whatever. It was a little confusing. lol Then later, I showed her her first anime! Ghost in the shell movie, and now Seraph of the End!

oh crap, I didn’t blog about other important stuff cuz I was so busy with TUF blogs.
My sempai, my mentor Casey, was given his black belt by Captain!

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is SO significant for so many reasons. He’s been working so hard for so long! Especially lately he’s been improving and killing it! I’ve always loved his teaching style, his classes, and sometimes take private lessons from him. Casey-sempai has really helped me get better, and I was SO SO SO excited to see him achieve one of his long-term goals. Also, Captain no longer officially teaches classes here, so it was really good of him to come in and do a promotion for him, and also my friend Gennady got his purple belt, and Chris got his brown.

Good job, Casey!!

Then he called me up, and I was like, what, does he want to tell me something? I was trying to choke down my tears from just seeing Casey get promoted, and I had a roll of tape in one hand and a my camera phone in the other. I was confused, like, what’s going on? LOL Then he gave me two stripes and whispered in my ear, “Almost black!”

AAAAAH nooo absolutely not almost black. lol I tried to be happy but thought of at least five things I stink at that I have to improve. hahaha I was happy, though. I have to train harder! I have to learn ALL THE JIUJITSU!

Everybody probably thought I was crying with happiness. lol I thought my heart and brain were gonna collide and explode after that. haha

I think my brown belt is one of my most favorite possessions. If my apartment was on fire, I’d probably grab my laptop, my phone, my wallet, my three childhood stuffed animals, and my brown belt. lol

oh, BEFORE I went to Japan, I threw a last minute, like SUPER last minute “let’s go tonight!” birthday party at Fuzzy’s. hahaha

Then Thais said, “Let’s take a walk in the park near my house!” Sure, great idea. So we went and there was a CARNIVAL going on. She hadn’t known? ALRIGHTY THEN. So we went and ate ice cream and had lots of fun!! I love my friends. And we went on a Ferris Wheel ride with an EXTREMELY sketchy portable wheel that they made us get off and change cars because it was unbalanced. And it creaked and bolts fell off. omggggg

Survivors!

It was a “smile and carry on” kind of week

Posted in every day, friends, training on September 12th, 2017 by roxyfighter

“Why are you always so happy?”

I get that a lot. I’m not always happy. I just try and use thinking techniques to see the good in situations (Pollyanna’s Glad Game anyone?).

Last week, for example, was terrible for me. However, I have family, friends, and my home, so it’s nothing compared to what people in Texas or Florida or the Islands south of there are going through, so let me just get that out of the way and say best wishes and safety to them.

When I got back from the Ultimate Fighter, I found the Syndicate training schedule had been changed. My recovery periods, sparring days, massage days, and physical training days got all discombobulated. I’ve been trying to find a new balance and for the past two weeks, I haven’t been successful at all. It has been sucking…..

Captain stopped teaching jiujitsu classes at Syndicate. That was the biggie of the week. I am pretty upset to put it lightly.

Hopefully he’ll be able to focus more on his MMA training because I’m sure it was a hard schedule for him to teach morning and evening in addition to training. I really like Casey’s jiujitsu classes, so that’s good. Tom Lawlor teaches a great no-gi class. See how hard I’m trying to be positive? I also consider Captain a fight trainer since he corners me and makes an effort to teach me jiujitsu for MMA.

I lost motivation to train last week, which never happens, and actually went home early on Thursday because I just couldn’t. I did a lot of strength and conditioning, though. That’s good.

On the positive side, I’ve taken a few private lessons with Captain and they were RIDICULOUSLY USEFUL. I started implementing all these little details and I’ve gotten a TON of stuff on various people over the past week! That’s really really important and good!

Every day I have to get stronger and better somehow! It’s a race! Every day is a race.

On another positive side, I’m home at Syndicate instead of being locked in the TUF house. I have my car, my friends, my head coach, etc. One of my sick family members is doing better lately, so I’m relieved about that.
I’ve been talking to my Aunt Mary more, which is really nice. I’m trying to keep in touch with my extended family more now that I’m an adult and not in Japan anymore, but it’s still hard, you know?
I’ve been talking to my dad more, which is nice. Same deal- he’s so busy he doesn’t call me that much, and I don’t want to bother him. But I miss him! Lately I’ve been trying to call more.
I made phone dates with my mom to talk every Sunday at 3 PM, because with our schedules, we just weren’t talking AT ALL, which is unacceptable. Now it’s weekly! 🙂
My computer stopped erroring and making me restart it.
I’ve been doing a lot of strength training lately.



My cardio suffered a bit…well, maybe that was because I didn’t do ANY SPARRING CLASSES LAST WEEK. Which was my choice, of course…. or not. I’ve been doing stairs regularly! A few of my training partners went out of their way to say I felt stronger and I hadn’t even been talking about the training I’ve been doing! So that’s good. I guess I can’t do everything. Maybe these past few weeks were meant to be the “strength training.” I’ve gained some weight but not a lot.
I’ve been enjoying watching The Ultimate Fighter episodes. I’ve gotten some nice fans reaching out and writing to me! thanks guys! I’ve also been getting a bunch of foot fetish people…. ummmmm I know I post pictures of my socks all the time, but I didn’t realize it would bring those guys out. Well, feet are great! I really love my feet. I don’t think I’m at the “fetish” point, though. One guy wrote about how he loved my ‘beautiful pink soles.’ um, I don’t know who’s feet you are looking at because they are obviously not mine. My feet are gross fighter’s feet, yellow skin, calloused, with super short nails because they keep breaking. Don’t look at my feet. LOL

My kids class has been good.

I’ve been now running into the problem where my best students don’t want to train with each other. WHY NOT? Because they are 5 or 6 years old, and there is no good reason. “I don’t like him” or ” I don’t wanna” or “he’s goes rough.” yeah, he’d say the same about you. But I want them to go because of size, strength, and skill. The second I stand over one pair for too long, somebody off in the corner gets bonked and starts crying. “Oh you clunked heads and bit your lip. Where is your mouth guard? Home? THEN TOO BAD! Suck it up. -_- ” But I can’t say that. Then if I go try and comfort him, (I say ‘him’ because honestly I haven’t had many female tears. Just saying) I hear some commotion and somebody’s goofing off or going too roughly. So there’s a skill in managing a big kids class. It’s not easy. I venture to say that I’m good at it. It took A LOT OF WORK to become good at it. Some kids ask me, “Can we free roll now?” but that’s actually my least favorite time of class, because I can’t just pair them up and say “Go.” I have to make sure they are paired with partners they will actually do jiujitsu with. Not grab by their hands and swing around, or run around each other in circles. LOL

Oh, the joys of teaching 5-7 year olds. It’s either get student complaints (why can’t I go with him!?!?!) or get parent complaints (he was going too roughly on my daughter). So obviously, sorry kids, do what I say because I’m twice your size. 🙂

I’ve made rules I try and repeat a lot at every opportunity, so hopefully they’ll hear my voice in their sleep. For example, no fighting until I say ‘fight.’ (i.e. You there, near the wall! Stop trying to choke Jet! It’s only warm-up time!). Never complain about your partner I assign to you or I’ll make you sit in a corner, because it’ll hurt their feelings. And I don’t care what you want.

I punish them mercilessly for those two things.

oooooookay anyway.

Last week, I went with Serena to Texas De Brazil for dinner.

It was a really expensive Brazilian BBQ restaurant that I love but never go because I could do a lot of things with $100 besides have one dinner. hahaha but I always think about it before every fight. “Man, I’m training so hard, with my next fight money, I’m gonna go!” but I never end up going. But Serena was also having a crappy week, so we went, screw it!

Serena and I also hung out at Captain’s to watch the UFC this weekend. That was great!

When Coach John walked in the gym yesterday I felt the biggest wave of sweet relief wash over me. ;_; He was away for a full week cornering Cory Hendricks, who won by sweet head kick to GNP. yay

So my mood was crap literally every day last week and I had stress dreams. But so many good things happened, as I listed. You need to list and fully appreciate and savor the good things, to help your brain not focus on the bad things. It’s not like you are ignoring them. You have to deal with the negative, but just keep on reminding yourself of the positive.

Kizuna – bonds, and my week after TUF

Posted in every day, friends, Ultimate Fighter/UFC on August 25th, 2017 by roxyfighter

“Kizuna” is a Japanese word that means “ties, bonds,” in the emotional and spiritual sense.

I love this word. I was considering getting it tattooed on my leg, except Japanese people don’t like tattoos and think kanji character tattoos are stupid, thus negating the gesture for me because I want to show my connection with Japan. lol

We all have kizuna, bonds, with other people. It’s a beautiful thing. Think for a second about how special that is. We pass people by every day in our lives, but some people we meet, talk to, do business with, work with, make friends with, and form relationships with.

I’m so grateful for people who come into my life. Think about a friend. How did you meet him or her? I met my best friends from high school in line for lunch. I met my roommate/training partner Serena on Facebook when she messaged me as a fan wanting to train. I met Coach John when I visited Syndicate as a mere polite gesture to Amanda, intending to join another gym, and then fell in love with the gym and his classes.

When I was on The Ultimate Fighter, I made connections with people I lived with, people I trained with, and even the staff, who are never seen behind the scenes.

Bonds you make are there forever. They might change depending on the relationship, but we will stay connected, even if the person is not in your life anymore, whether they be living in a different location, or even passed away. I think that humans have experiences and should think about them. That’s why we can learn and better ourselves from both positive and negative things. Whether an experience is positive or negative is often about perception and beliefs. Emotions and how we feel are very fickle and subjective. (I wrote a book on this about positivity…see my website store here link) We are like a painting on a huge canvas. Once you paint a stroke, you can’t erase it, but you can cover it up or blend it with another color to make an even different color.

I guess I’m feeling pensive this morning. I woke up in my own bed, new computer, so happy to be able to train at Syndicate again and drive my own car again, but also missing my new friends and TUF coaches like crazy. But we’ll always have that special “kizuna” that we made on the show. The MMA world is a small place and I’m sure I’ll see them ALL again.

I can’t wait for the premier episode of TUF 26 this coming Wednesday. Watch, on Fox Sports 1!
So many inside jokes I can’t say or post! So many things only TUF participants would understand.

Dang, it’s Friday already?!? So I got out of The House last Friday night and Dana White took us out to dinner at this amazing delicious Italian restaurant! It made me miss my father a lot because he used to take me out a lot to those in Boston.
I got pictures with both coaches, Justin and Eddie. Both are great men!

My friend Serena welcomed me home with open arms. We ended up staying up later than I had anticipated because I was charged up on food and wanted to unpack. Saturday I woke up exhausted and Serena went to corner our BJJ kid students at NAGA. Thank you! I feel like that was my responsibility but I was so tired.

Actually, when I tried to start my car, I found that my battery had died and spewed acid all over the place, so not only did I have to get a new battery, but had to replace a supporting bolt and some wires.

$250. ;_; Could have been worse. When I was in the House, I overheard my housemate Emily tell someone, “I got my friend to start my car so the battery doesn’t die while I’m away.” I thought, “Uhhh….. uh oh…” but I didn’t know it would spit acid like that. Lee must have missed me terribly, poor boy. I’ll love you until the day you die and don’t start anymore!

Sunday after yoga class we did lots of best-friend things – I made her cheat on her diet.

Chinese food dim sum for lunch, followed by a movie (The Hitman’s Bodyguard), and then she helped me shop for a laptop. I chose an Asus and I think it’s working out. 🙂
Monday morning I did a private BJJ lesson with Casey and lifted weights. I need to get stronger!! I taught kids in the afternoon! 😀 It was SO great to see them again and teach class! Still a big class…. they didn’t all disappear while I was gone!
Well… I love all my kids.
I’m discovering what it means to be a coach. It has it’s own ecstatic moments and heartbreaks.


It was my BJJ teacher Captain’s birthday on Monday. Happy birthday! He decided to get his wisdom teeth pulled that day. Hope you feel better. Wednesday I had to get an MRI as part of a Cleveland Clinic brain study test, which was a pain in the neck, but they gave me $50 and I got proof that I don’t have brain damage from fighting. 🙂

I also bought that ASUS Q504 laptop I had been thinking about. I’m using it now. I like it!! It was $845 and I got it on sale for $699. 😀

Yesterday, Thursday, I had made a DMV appointment but didn’t realize I had to bring my passport. GRRR so I had to reschedule.
I went to Macy’s and bought a black bag with gift cards some fans sent me (Thank you, Jack and Jan!) and it was also on sale, so I didn’t have to chip in much. 😀 This should replace the black bag leather bag my aunt gave me like ten years ago. I don’t buy expensive things so I had to ask Facebook where to go to buy something like that. hah.

I also paid my car insurance. I also booked my trip to Japan in the end of September! Taking care of business! I’m so excited for everything.
Yesterday I did BJJ and lifted weights. I gotta get stronger! Better! Stronger and better every day!

btw Here’s a shout-out to one of my main sponsors Remove it Restoration. Thanks for everything!


They’re a repair/graffiti removal/glass repair company in southern California. Check them out: removeitrestoration.com

super busy week of training MMA, doing & teaching BJJ, other updates

Posted in every day, friends, training on July 8th, 2017 by roxyfighter

Awesome week! I canceled my kids private lessons so I could focus on training, which makes me sad. But I still taught class and they were great. We got a few new kids who will probably join. Yay! They’re so enthusiastic!

Everybody’s asking me if I’m going to the International Fight Week.

aaaand do what? There’s no expo. I have to train and teach kids. Actually, I taught some adult classes, too, for Captain because he went to compete in the big IBJJF tournament this weekend.

I was honored he asked me.
He always supports me and has my back, so I wanted to have his back, too.


Although he gets my back more often with more…unfortunate results for me. Actually, his side control is the worst. ~_~ And he taunts me, saying “You can do fooking nothing!”

-_-;

It’s true, I cannot move nor breathe. Judo background at it’s finest! It’s very impressive to taunt in a foreign language. I can do it in Japanese, but not Portuguese….

He got silver in no-gi.

And due to a time mix up, missed his division the next day. >< That's too bad! But I'm still proud of him. He hadn't competed in jiujitsu in years, much like myself, due to focusing on MMA. And, much like me when I lost after my first time back, he's even more motivated to train hard! Oss!

I can only win if I use illegal techniques. 😀 lol

I had a great 4th of July…I guess. I trained and then went home and watched The Transformers Prime, and Tenjo Tenge OAV. I was so tired to go out later. I wanted to see an Adam Hunter comedy show last night, too, but was too tired. John came in despite being a holiday to hold mitts for me. Thanks, John.

Also teaching me how to analyze fights. I appreciate you so much!

Love training with Serena!!

Gotta say thank you to one of my best sponsors, Remove it Restoration, for constant support and love! If you’re in Cali and need glass repair or graffiti removal and other things, call them. www.removeitrestoration.com

Lorenzo’s physical training has been going very well. (Then Teri fixes me up when stuff gets painful.) He wasn’t here this weekend, so I did my own conditioning circuit, which are the hardest parts of his set and what Heather taught me and I’ve been doing for years now.

I was excited to be able to put on music this morning, since I was the first person in the gym other than Leif. I really love working out to music. I really appreciate it. So much. Music. I love music. muuuuuuusic. ;_; I neeeeeed music…..

anyway, moving on…..

I met Oli, an Australian fan/friend who I met on Twitter and have known for some time now! He gave me some cool gifts, like the Tekken Shirt, hat, Pikachu hat, and DBZ figures!! Thankyou!

Last weekend was John and Janna’s son’s 2nd birthday party! Very happy birthday, Maverick!


I enjoyed hanging out with Thais and Serena!

Let’s see, what else happened last week….
Some of my teenage students came to last Saturday’s class!

Serena took me to see Despicable Me 3! It was great! Hopefully we’ll get to see Transformers The Last Knight tomorrow. I’m quite obsessed with them at the moment.

and finally, I love team syndicate!!

(click to enlarge)

“Don’t worry about anything during training,” Q-chan, TV shows, languages

Posted in every day, family and holidays, fight, friends, fun, training on July 1st, 2017 by roxyfighter

It’s been a good week. A hard week. “Sometimes you have to have a rough one to have a good one,” Donny, my training partner told me one day, when I was looking like hell after training.

It felt like in the previous week, every technique I tried to do, I failed to do. I know that when I first learn something, many times I can’t do it live that day. I have to practice it and drill it first to master it. But man, I was counting and I felt I couldn’t do anything I wanted! But I know I know, it’s just part of training. I just have to battle my emotions, relax, and just look forward to the next time I get to try stuff.

Diego, Captain’s black belt friend, actually took me aside (because his wife Luciana probably told him I’d been crying in the girls’ changing room -_- …snitch!) and said to me, “Don’t worry about anything during training. It’s your attitude and feelings that make good training. If you feel happy and good, you have good training.” He explained further, and I can’t remember the direct quotes, that I (Roxanne) train every day and there are other things involved, like my tiredness level or the strength of a bigger man as my partner. I told him that was upset me was when I forget the techniques I was taught. I hate when I forget what I should know! And then he repeated, “We all forget! Don’t worry about anything during training.”

That kind of made an impression on me. I feel like I know this, but it was nice to hear it again from someone other than my inner voice, you know? And it makes sense. I try and follow my own Jedi-like code : “There is no emotion, there is peace.” Emotions are not needed during a fight, or training. Once I start getting frustrated or upset, it inhibits further technique and training.

Thursday I repeated that to myself to try and calm myself down when I was having a rough session.
Wednesday, John, Jordan, and Rich helped shark-tank me.

The week before that, Jordan and Serena helped me out, and Captain jumped in when John couldn’t make it. That was sweet… I didn’t even ask him! I was in the middle of going as hard as I could and I started to hear his voice.

I’ve been doing lots of double sessions back to back lately. My weight loss has been stagnating, but if I don’t eat, I’m tired and don’t recover as well. It’s a balance! A hard one. Well, I only have two pounds to lose before I reach where I want to be.

And I was stress-eating during Serena’s fight week. LOL Our friend’s suffering becomes our suffering a little bit. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten two donuts in one sitting. haha New experiences all around….

So her family left and that was sad, but then my friend Q from college came to visit from the Boston area! It was great! She went sight-seeing on the Vegas strip when I had to train, and then we hung out together during other times. We saw a comedy show, and I was excited that Mike Hammer, the comedian, knew who I was! 😀 He saw me in the audience.

We also saw Cirque Du Soleil’s Ka, which I’ve been wanting to see for years! Thanks, Michael, for buying our tickets! <3 I took Q on the Red Rock driving trail.

We did jiujitsu together. We watched four eps of Attack on Titan season 2, and four of Sword Art Online. 😀 We ate at Skinnyfats and El Pollo Loco, my favorite restaurants, and JaBurritos, the sushi burrito place.

I have missed her, but at the same time, we talk every week so it felt natural. It was so good to show her my life and stuff I love! <3 <3 Man, time has been passing so quickly. Last week Q was here?! This past week was training as normal and it was fantastic. From Monday on, I was hitting all the moves I couldn't do last week. I kept being able to do the moves of the day. I did the back-take I couldn't do last week. I've been choking people out with my new set-up! My striking technique has been on point. I've been hitting the new wall-takedown technique. And my kid students have been impressing me. HAH Hell yeah!
Serena is back in training!

My cardio level is back to excellent! Serena ran stairs with me this week.


I adore Team Syndicate so much! Best coaches, best training partners!!

I actually ran myself into the ground Thursday, and nearly passed out. So I rescheduled my strength and conditioning with Lorenzo for Saturday instead of Friday. 🙁 Later that day, after I fnished teaching kids, Captain said, “You had a good day of training!” I said, “What? But I didn’t train!” He said, “I know! Rest is training.”

feh. A fighter gets pressure to train their butts off, and then when said butt falls off, we get flack for not resting enough! We can’t win!! “Listen to your body!” Oh please, if I listened to my body, I wouldn’t be a fighter! haha

I’m ready for my next fight, whenever that may be! I wish I knew!! Gotta be ready!

So normally I have almost zero waking hours to lay down, but Thursday and Friday I had some time, so I watched My Hero Academia and Transformers Prime. Man, I really like Todoroki’s character!
I’m on Season 1 ep 22 of the Transformers now. I had heard that after Beast Wars (which I watched as a teenager), the target age group got lowered, but Prime feels serious enough for me to be interested in it. Optimus is so cool. *_* I love strong leaders with strong morals. I think he’s my favorite, but I also like Rachet’s logical character. Miko annoys the snot out of me! 🙁 stupid kid!

I adore the music and just bought the back ground music cd! I rarely buy CDs so you know it’s good. 🙂

Due to my exhaustion, I’ve only been studying Portuguese once a week with Thais instead of two. :/ I’ve been slacking a little on my Japanese, as well. I did a translation project listening to Japanese fighter’s interviews, which was awesome! That’s done now, though…
Speaking of Portuguese, the prodigy Brazilian BJJ kids started going to another gym where there were more teenagers their size and level. I’m sad! oh well. I wish a Japanese person would join the gym. haha.