very important: that little “might”

Monday morning, I had a work-related meeting again, which was meh. -_- I was mentally preoccupied with that for the next two days…

I really enjoyed the Ground Slam evening class on Monday. A fighter named Ryosuke Tanuma taught it. We did kickboxing at first, and then grappling sparring. It was from 7 PM sharp to 9 PM sharp. That time worked for me…. It was intensive and there was non-stop drilling and sparring from beginning to end. I was able to push myself, and my body cooperated until the end when my knees felt a bit sore. But it was good. Then BJJ started, and I went home. Not SO many people, and there were a lot of beginners, but it wasn’t like I was not challenged. There were some good guys, there.

Tuesday I worked from 8 AM to 9:15 PM, with a long lunch break, in which I met my friend Kozo.

On Wednseday, I lifted weights in the morning, even though my shoulder’s been bothering me a bit. I tried Tony’s idea of lifting every muscle one set at maximum weight. 😀 I delivered a Berlitz Business Basics workshop to six co-workers, which went pretty well. ^_^b I watched a lot of One Piece, the anime.

On Thursday morning, I went to Ground Slam! For the first time since the end of January! ^_^

I felt good sparring. Not too many people were there, actually…only BJ and this other guy were my size. I ended up sparring BJ three times and Omigawa-san once.
link to his sherdog page WOW looking at this, I did NOT know he has such an extensive history. :O

Anyway, needless to say, when I got taken down and he got in the mount, I was thinking, “There’s no way I’m getting out of this.” Then I heard Steve yelling from the side, “Get up get up get up, Roxy! Try to get out!” I realized, “Sh*t I’m being passive!” BJ yelled, “Get at least ONE leg out! Don’t give up until you get at least one leg out!” Everyone was taking a round off, so they were yelling advice.


Most of the time when I’m sparring, I’m lost in a large class and I don’t get live coaching while rolling.
Anyway, I couldn’t get up, but I tried. I didn’t stop trying.

If you think you can’t get up, so you don’t try, you won’t get up.

EVEN IF YOU THINK you can’t, YOU MUST TRY, or you have no chance. If you try, you MIGHT do it. That “MIGHT” is the whole reason we step in the cage in the first place! That little “might” makes or breaks fighers, makes or breaks careers, makes or breaks fights, makes or breaks people’s spirits, makes or breaks the entire reputation of the sport. That little ‘might.’

In the end, I couldn’t get out of Omigawa’s mount. However, I managed to stand up when rolling with BJ. He took my back, but didn’t choke me. Later, he showed me some techniques. “Roxanne, you have good technique but you make little tiny mistakes! You gotta fix them, cuz it’s such a waste!”

THANK YOU BJ-san! ;_; You inspire me. And thank you, Steve!

(pic from last November…BJ-san is looking at the ceiling, and Steve has the navy blue shirt)

In my last match, I really pushed it and my shoulder felt something strain. I decided to do one more situational drill before quitting, and while defending the take down, my knee twisted and I felt something….happen. Not pop, maybe tear? I hobbled over to the side while Steve got me ice. But strangely enough, my knee wasn’t hurting. Somewhere down my leg on the muscle? or something? RIght above my ankle. That hurt. So I iced my whole leg. It’s a hard bump now, and I’m limping.

I had plans to meet Karen later that afternoon, and I hobbled to Kawasaki station.
“What’s WRONG with you, you still want to meet like this?!” Karen laughed at me as she saw me approaching.

Inside I laughed. I had just written to someone on twitter that I can’t remember the last time something was not hurting. I’ve never stopped living, though! Just that morning on the way to training, I saw someone with rickets struggling down the street on the twin crutches. I’m grateful that I could train and do what I love. If I can’t train, I’m grateful that I can walk. If I can’t walk, I’m grateful that I woke up in the morning.

I literally crawled into my futon at 8 PM, and woke up at 4. I feel like hell….shoulder, lower back, both legs. At least my neck stopped hurting. And I can walk without a cane. I can’t wait to get back to the gym so I can work hard, because I might become champion if I work hard. That little “might.”

Off to work!…