Body crumbles

Every morning these past two weeks I wake up, and my body thinks it’s fsking 70 years old.

I have no idea if I’m getting stronger or not. Not fast enough, if at all. I want to notice, damn you body~! Damn you damn you body stupid body.

I didn’t get enough sleep last night.
I tried so hard to pump myself up for work today- 7:45AM to 5:30PM.
I don’t want to complain about my work schedule publicly because I don’t want to be unprofessional, but I was NOT happy about it today. By the end of the day, I was a mess and totally stressed out.

Tears, sushi and TWO ice cream cones later, I found myself chatting with Michele on the way to the gym. Thanks for the trying to cheer me up, my friend. I did the PowerMax bike and got my worst scores ever. How pathetic?….

I tried to shadow box, but and the strikes just didn’t come. Pathetic pathetic. I just stood there starring at myself in the mirror….or the blob that represented myself because I can’t see without my glasses. Masa-san held mitts for me and I did my best. But I hate hitting mitts. I was looking forward to grappling, but I couldn’t even stay on the mat….

I feel so sh*tty at the moment. I know it could be a lot worse. But still. It’s not just one major thing, but a lot of things on top of each other.

I did away with one stresser today. It was hard. I’m going to solve another tomorrow, and another on Tuesday. ~_~; “Stay calm, carry on.” Just go about identifying the problems and taking steps to solve them, one by one.

DAMNIT I wanted to grapple SO BADLY but …… so fsking pathetic. ~_~; (btw, my fingers typed ‘I wanted to grappling’….just thought I’d mention that… Even my body is dazed and confused).

I imagined Masa-san’s mits were one of my stressers and I ended up hitting it harder.
Hah. I never do that. That was….amuzing. omg fingers, did you just type that? AMUSING. holy crap I should go to bed.

So what was positive today? The assessment kid liked my lesson! But I think his father thinks we are expensive….crap they just canceled each other out.

uh, I found this new tea. Ginger/barley mix. No caffeine. It’s yummy.