So a mentor ordered me to watch a movie called “Ichi The Killer,” probably to observe the making of movies and action scenes.

So I started watching it, and like every few minutes, thought, “Gee, that’s disturbing.” The guy was smoking and blew smoke out holes in the sides of his cheeks. Eww. They tortured this guy by hanging him up from his skin by the ceiling using fish hooks, and sticking needles in him. Disturbing. Frequent scenes of beating a woman and violent rape. omg. Cutting people’s limbs and faces off, slicing people in half.

ichi the killer image
It was after I fast forwarded five minutes and the fishhook torture scene had NOT ENDED….was when I decided to discontinue watching the movie. Twenty minutes in.

And I wept for humanity. I wept for all the women who really got raped in this world, and nobody knew or cared. I wept for people who really got tortured, for one reason or another. I wept for sick psychopathic murderers who did creative gruesome things to people and little kids, disfiguring them while they were still alive.

I know these things go on, but I don’t feel I need to expose my mind and psyche to them. I got all of these things above in a 20 minute dose all together. It hurt my heart, and I was literally crying on the way to the gym, it bothered me so much. I almost had to pull over.

How can we do such horrible thing to each other? And what do you think war is? Soldiers going over to a group of people, saying, “You better not do that, or I’ll hit you!” No. It’s shooting metal balls into people who’s guts explode all over the place, like that poor sap in the movie who had his intestines splattered all over the wall and ceiling.


So when I was a kid, my parents censored what I watched. I watched rated R movies on TV only if they saw it first (and it was edited for TV anyway). The first rated R movie I was in the theaters WAS when I was 16 and it was Aliens 4: Resurrection, with my mom. I was psyched. I actually followed the rules.

I’m glad my mom did that, because I’m a sensitive kid. Was. Is. hah. My heart is still a kid anyway. But I know so many parents who think, “Oh, they have to grow up sometime.” or “Oh they know it’s fake violence.” But I respectfully disagree with that. Still, seeing living creatures have violence done to them makes a BIG impact on young minds. And even older minds. Even if they don’t have nightmares the next day, you don’t know the exact effects. What if they think stuff is ‘okay?’ because they saw it on TV? Kids mimic the craziest things. I know that sounds ridiculous, implying a kid would mimic violence, but are you a psychologist? We don’t know!

I get so upset when I see a little kid in a rated R movie, and I have seen it. It’s something I’m very passionate about. Please, protect your kid’s minds so they can grow up into sensitive, compassionate human beings.