I am a new mother!

Holy cow, so much has happened since May, which is when I posted last. Right now I’m typing as fast as I can because two-month-old Max is asleep, probably about to wake up. I hear him stirring.

My pregnancy went well. I did my best to eat well, take my vitamins, and suffer through headaches and pains without medication. I think I took Tylenol two times in the entire 9 months. Docs and literature said you can have caffeine, but if my mom can go cold turkey, I can go cold turkey, so I did. Well, I allowed myself one cup of tea a month if I was having a hard day. Tea is like…. 50 grams of caffeine, though, compared to 90 for a cup of coffee.

I worked at my English school almost the entire time. I was due July 27th, and figured I’d get taken off the schedule the last week of June, since that’s when a term ended, and just substitute teach for a few weeks. I’m glad because it was getting hard to move, and I was tired and mentally slow.

Chris was working in Colorado for a few months….visiting a few times a month. I’m glad he could get traveling work, but I missed him a lot. ;_; We were really stressed about this issue…when should he return for the birth? I wanted him to come home at the beginning of July, but it turned out he’d have to quit the job and then couldn’t get rehired. He suggested the last week of July. Gosh, that was cutting it awfully close, I thought. But it’s work and our livelihood so I guess so?

THEN it turns out a job opened up in Vegas the second week of July, he jumped on that and thank goodness got hired! July 12-13th he came home. We spent the weekend together. He was scheduled for orientation on July 17th (Wed) and pick up his work badge July 18th (Thurs). Okay cool. Wednesday morning at 6 AM, he went to orientation. At 7:30 AM I felt my water break! omg it’s go time! TEN FREAKING DAYS EARLY. I messaged him, “No hurry but my water broke…” and then messaged my sister-in-law and other female family members for advice. Everyone said don’t go to the hospital until you feel contractions. Did I feel contractions? Well…I dunno, I’ve never felt them before. Slight cramping? “Then no,” I was told, “You’d know.” Okay so Chris got home. My doc told me to go to the hospital immediately, but we figured it was just so the hospital could charge us for longer, so I waited. Finally around 3 PM I hadn’t felt contractions, so I asked Chris to take me because I was worried.

I got checked in a waited and waited and still no contractions. To make a long story only a little long, they had to give me pills to start my body’s process, which I didn’t really want, but I also didn’t want to get infected, or stay in the hospital forever. The first two pills didn’t work, and by that time, it was 11 PM Wednesday night. Dang it, I thought, I was so excited my water broke in the morning. I’d hoped I’d be out of there by nightfall. NOPE.

Chris took a nap on the bench until 4 Am, which is when they gave me my third pill. Then he had to go get his work badge! X_x; Pretty soon after I took the third pill, it started working. Then I knew what contractions felt like. Then my new “worst pain ever” scale got upgraded. My curiosity had been sated. It sucked to be laboring by myself, but I wasn’t afraid. Nurses checked on me, and I was hopeful Chris would get back in time. I was so sleepy. I’d start to drift off to sleep only to be awoken a minute or so later by another contraction. It was hard!

Chris ran in around 9AM-ish and started coaching me. Everyone was telling me not to push. “I really feel like I have to push,” I said. “No, not yet, you aren’t dilated enough,” they said. That had been the problem, and why they gave me the pills. I said to Chris, “I really can’t help but push!” I winced in pain and tried to breathe as another one hit me. “Not yet!”

The nurses came in again and said, “I really feel like you’re in too much pain not to be fully dilated..” I started worrying that they might want to do a C-section if my lady parts wouldn’t open up for baby to go through. “Let’s check again,” the nurse said…. “and try not to push yet.”

“I REALLY FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO PUSH,” I kept saying, pushing, and pooping. (that sucked). Nurse checked my cervix and was like, “OH!!!!!!!!! Okay it’s time to push! GET THE DOCTOR!” The doctor happened to be walking in. “Hi, how’s it…..” she ran out, grabbed her gown and gloves, and ran back.

I told you guys. LOL After that, it wasn’t long. I have no idea what it looked like from the other end. I just saw the end of my gown and the tops of the doctor’s heads. I expected to hear a baby cry. I think he did briefly but was pretty quiet when they put him on me. I thought, “Omg this is it! My baby!” It was bizarre. I’d only held a baby once in my life….it hardly felt like mine. 9 lb 2 oz, ten days early. I’m glad he wasn’t on time….

I loved that hospital. The docs and nurses were very efficient and kind. They treated us very well. I’m SO HAPPY Chris was there. If he had come back when we were planning, he would have missed it. Maximus Edwin Roman. He had his eyes open and was calmly looking around. Didn’t even cry when they pricked his foot. Chris said it was because I didn’t take any medication for the pain.

So all this “You’ll know exactly what to do! Mother’s instincts!” bull crap? No. I didn’t know how to do anything. Thank goodness I took classes and read books, but I still needed the lactation specialist to help me insert boob correctly into mouth, show how to burp him, etc. I struggled to hold him. I constantly thought I was gonna drop him. Chris thought I was gonna give him whiplash. Chris was telling me how to do stuff. “There’s no correct way with kids!” No, yes there is and I wasn’t doing anything correctly. It was hard and stressful. “Are you enjoying being a mother?” people asked me after a few weeks. Are you kidding? Is this stress supposed to be joyous? Am I a horrible person for thinking that? An influencer I follow on Instagram just had a baby, too, and she said, “I love my son but the newborn phase isn’t my favorite.” That’s a good way to put it.

NOW I’m getting excited. Max is two months old, smiling at me, looking at me, and he’s cute at all times. He’s cute when eating, when crying, when pooping, when bicycle kicking his legs while I’m trying to wipe poop off his family jewels and replace the diaper, etc.

Chris has been working like a maniac, crazy graveyard hours and overtime. I’m so grateful he can support our family. I miss him, though. Worse than being locked up in the Ultimate Fighter house twice. I’m glad I have the internet and friends who chat and visit with me! FINALLY it’s cool enough ( like 80 degrees) to go for a walk. I couldn’t take him out in 90 degree weather.

Now, behold our adorable son!

It’s been really hard to do basic things like eat food, drink water, do laundry. My goals are to basically feed myself and drink enough. I wash my hair like every other time I take a shower because it adds an extra five minutes to the task. Now at 2 months, he can be put down and not cry immediately. I can’t wait for him to be able to hold his head up. I’ve been singing kids song with him every day and doing tummy time. Not sure how else to entertain him.

THANK YOU to everyone who bought something off my registry! Everything is super useful and appreciated!…