In November, shortly after my fight was set in Jewels, I injured my leg. I couldn’t walk well and couldn’t squat or take stairs. A trainer at Gold’s Gym said, “It’s the tendon. You should rest it.”

Fine. So I rested it and limped around for 5 days before going to the doctor. Doctor said, “It’s the tendon. You should ice it and rest it.” Fine. Iced. Limped around. Okay, one week & some days later, no more limping, so let’s go back to the dojo. I promptly injured my ankle on my OTHER leg. During work, I tucked ice packs into my socks! Limped around for another 1.5 weeks before I was able to go back to the dojo to do technique.

It’s okay, as long as I have a good two weeks, I can get into some resemblance of shape for my fight, right?

Did sparring. Hurt my neck and screwed up my lower back. I couldn’t hold my head up straight without feeling sharp pain and pressure on my spine. Just freaking great. Got orthopedic treatment, made it worse.

Every five-minute break between lessons at work, I lay an ice pack on my neck. And the ice packs in my sock for my ankle. What a mess. My boss was like, “Roxy…you keep shifting the ice packs all over your body…”

I thought, “It’s okay, it’s just my cartilage inflamed. It’ll go down and maybe I can fight.” It had happened before. But no, one week before, my neck had a small range of motion.
“Well, maybe it’ll get better fast,” I thought, and went on the elliptical machine Sunday, to get my heart rate up. Then my bum knee started hurting again.

I got off the elliptical machine. That was when it hit me: I wasn’t fighting next Saturday. The tears wouldn’t stop for 20 minutes.

The following week was TOTAL HELL. I was getting pressure to fight anyway, but I didn’t properly communicate in Japanese the severity of my neck. Why oh why didn’t I get an MRI? So I made the call that I couldn’t fight, and tortuously waited out the week dealing with various issues, feeling like a horrible weakling, a big disappointment to my team and coach…. Went back to the doctor’s to get an official letter, and he took an MRI and was like, “OH YOU HAVE A HERNIA! You shouldn’t fight!”

THANK YOU VERY MUCH. ;__; So I was right! It looks more like bulging disks than a ‘hernia,’ but keep in mind these conversations are all happening in Japanese, so…. Gosh, medical care in Japan. ;_;

I was soo so stressed out. I don’t know if it was because of that, but I collapsed at work on Wednesday. I’m kind of embarrassed, but it was true. At the end of my second to last lesson, the room started spinning. I staggered back to the teacher’s room and fell over on the sofa. ;_; So dizzy. My boss had to teach my last lesson. I could barely make it home- my co-wokers had to escort me to the station, and the next day, I stayed home most of the day. I took a sick day on Friday, but didn’t feel dizzy, so I saw The Hobbit in the theaters. It kicked butt.

fast forward On Saturday, I went to Jewels. It was really really hard to watch. I knew most of the fighters, but at the same time, I didn’t want to go. It was so painful to be there and know that I should have fought. I ran into my opponent Shizuka Sugiyama, and apologized to her. ;_; It’s not just my fight that I wrecked, it was ‘our’ fight. It takes two to tango, right? But she told me to heal my neck, and said something about the futures, so I’m hopeful that she would agree to fight in the future!

Rina Tomita, former training partner, and Naoko Omuro retired. Celine won her fight! She has improved so much! I’m so proud of her. Her distancing and technique are all super improved and I’m so so soooo proud of you, my friend! Kikuyo Ishikawa, Groundslam teammate, won her fight! I have mixed feelings, because she was able to fight and represent our team, and I couldn’t. ;_; She looked good. I wish I could have done the same, and pulled off a win, but it’s not the same situation….

I had to go into the cage and apologize to the audience in Japanese. Yeah, Saturday was hard. I just want to especially thank my good friend Brittany Decker for forever supporting me, meeting me, and text messaging me every day throughout this. It really kept me sane. I don’t know what I would have done without you.

… coming soon, part 2