Roxanne Modafferi

The Happy Warrior

the week after my fight

Posted in every day on September 30th, 2016 by roxyfighter

So I’ve been partially successful at making myself rest for a week. I can’t believe it’s Friday already. I started feeling sick on Sunday and Monday, but I think avoided coming down with something by just laying down and watching anime until I got sleepy, and then napped. For me, “taking time off from training” means not doing kickboxing. I always want to do grappling…it’s what makes me happy. 🙁 First I had to let my injured eye heal, which it did by Monday. Now my shins and calves and ankle is swollen and hurt, so I’m HOPING to be back next week, but that’s optimistic. I’m glad I’m not more hurt. I’m just impatient. Every day I’m not working to improve myself is wasted, I feel. And if I don’t exercise off all that ice cream, I’ll get fat! 🙁 I’m so jealous watching everybody else train….

I lifted weights with my upper body yesterday and I’m a little sore today. Yay!

Well, at least I got back to teaching kids! I wore make-up for a few days so I wouldn’t scare them. Many of the kids had seen my fight and told me “Good fight” and gave me hugs. Then one kid was like, “You got beat up!” and another kid joined in, “Yeah, you got beat up!” I wanted to retort, “DID NOT!” dang, kids! ;_; So mean! haha Whatever, they’re not entirely wrong….if you just look at my face….

But even though I felt I lost, I think it was a really close fight. And just barely losing to the number 1 ranked fighter in the world? Not too bad. I think it was the best striking performance of my career.

For some reason that escapes me, while I was showing a technique to my group of kids, one kid randomly grabbed my foot and squeezed. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?! Did he KNOW it was hurting? gah whyyyy

So I’m gonna see if I can do the big kid’s class and roll lightly with them with the help of my DRAGON DO SOFT SHIN GUARD! Hopefully it’ll fit under my gi pants.

I’ve gotten a lot of random chores done that I’ve been procrastinating. And it’s time to start studying Japanese again.

I want to visit my family in New England, but I don’t want to spend the money and also don’t want to leave my kids class again for an extended period. :/ *sigh*

So I’ve been watching Fairy Tail. I’ve been kind of on the fence about this anime, but I’m really getting attached to Gray and Natsu.
I love how Natsu is rash and a hot-head but SMART. So many of the main heroes are good people at heart but so dumb and their sidekicks are always having to look after them.

I also saw the first ep of season 2 of Lucifer. I like that series a lot!!
I also watched Waterworld for the first time per John’s recommendation. Then The Huntsman!
It was good….not the best movie in the world but I just wanted to watch Chris Hemsworth for two hours. XD

It seems like the Naruto anime creators have stopped fillers and are finally finishing the final battle. I had gotten so mad earlier this year that they stopped at the CLIMAX OF THE FINAL BATTLE to start a filler arc. I mean wtf. At least wait for the battle to end before starting the filler. There was no reason for that, since the manga had already been completed, so it’s not like they had to wait for the author to finish the series! grrr! So I already know what happens, but enough time has passed for my brain to forget some of the details. Right now I’m on ep 456, Itachi’s story. Man, that guy has had a hard life.

My Invicta 19 blog

Posted in Uncategorized on September 25th, 2016 by roxyfighter

Well, I had an exciting week at Invicta FC 19. I arrived on Tuesday, coach John on Wednesday, and we successfully dressed up as She-ra and He-man for the photo shoot. I made a big effort to find the costumes, and swords. Then found I didn’t have adequate support for “the girls,” and the front fell. Jessy found lingerie tape for me, which I didn’t know existed, so I could tape the top to my chest so anyone taller than me wouldn’t have a view. I’m just mentioning it cuz it took effort! lol And the wig…I tried on like 6 wigs at the costume store, texting pics to Jessy and John. There was a golden one I liked, too, but those two thought the blond one was best.
And I had wanted to find just a He-man rashguard or something for John since he is built like He-man anyway and doesn’t need fake muscles, but then I wouldn’t know how to make a furry loincloth. lol
Money was spent but well worth it.

Cutting weight was not fun but as easy as I could have made it because I dieted well, salt-cut well, and waterloaded well. Thursday morning I climbed out of the tub, craweled downstairs at 10:30 AM, weigh-ed in in front of the commission, and then got to rehydrate and eat. It’s “early weigh-ins,” a new thing the commissions are doing. Then later that day at 7 PM, we did the staged one.
I always take some sportsfood strips after weigh-ins. They have sodium and electrolytes.
Sportsfood sponsored me a bunch of fights ago and I tried them because of that, but found that I REALLY like and support the product more than I expected. So shoutout to sportsfood! Thank you!
My friends from out of town started showing up!

I didn’t take as many pictures as I usually do, I think.
Then the public weigh-in and Faceoff!

I like Jennifer a lot. I sense she’s a good martial artist. When I looked into her eyes, I sensed only excitement and readiness to fight me.
I hung out with Jessy Jess and John and Tom on fight day. Got my hair done. Went to Cheesecake factory. lol a lot. Walked around the Plaza shopping area.
Then it was fight-time.

I’d never felt so good physically with zero injuries. I’d never been in such good cardio condition. I’ve never had so many tools in my toolbox. I was so ready.

I didn’t really feel any emotions. I just walked out there ready to fight.
It was a great fight. (Images owned by Invicta)




I wasn’t able to corner her against the cage as much I had hoped. I wanted to get a take-down that way. She actually tried to do that to me, and I had to hustle to regain the center of the cage. Once I was half turned from ducking out and kind of jogged away and thought, “Crap, I wonder if ppl will see this like Conor turned his back to Nate Diaz and got flack for it online” LOL BUT I DIDN’T MEAN TO, honest.
I am very proud of myself for being able to land a lot of combos that I’d been practicing. However, it was as if she ate them and was like, *Terminator voice* “Your attacks are stupid,” and pushed forward. Then when she hit me, I was jolted backwards. x_x That was pretty discouraging. Her face wasn’t bruised or anything and my face is all f*cked up. John said he thinks I won the fight, but if you look at my face, you wouldn’t think so. :/ I just wasn’t strong enough.

I feel proud I was able to do the techniques, like the Roxycoper! but also really sad they didn’t fell my opponent. Before the fight I was constantly stressing to interviewers that the belt really didn’t mean as much as the win, and while that’s true….I had really wanted to bring the belt home to Syndicate. I was rehearsing in my head, that when Shannon wrapped the belt around my waist, I would hold it up with John and Tom on either side and say, “This is Syndicate’s belt!” I had wanted to show my kids and let them touch it. I wanted to be John’s champion…

That didn’t happen. It feels good to know that I can hang with and almost win against the fighter ranked number 1 in my division. But still. Half the money, half the glory. Well at least nobody asked me if I’m going to retire anytime soon! YAY!! That question is so annoying. People just quit asking me and just wished me a happy birthday. Good.

I’m so grateful to Invicta for giving me this opportunity to fight in their awesome organization, and fight Jennifer! They always treat me well! Thank you Shannon, Julie, Angie, Kaitlin, and the crew!
My friends didn’t give me a chance to get sad and took me out to dinner and I ate cheesecake for an appetizer at…the CHEESECAKE FACTORY. We went there so often . lol

So many friends came out from all over the States. Even Eric holden, my favorite stalker (he’s not really a stalker, though) joined us! I didn’t want any pictures after my fight because of my face, and then Steve said, “Own that shit!” and I cried on his shoulder because he was right, I should be proud to be a fighter, but actaually I failed to hurt my opponent. I rarely hurt my opponent. I’m not a fsking striker and it’s so frustrating. Jiu-jitsu is the art that allows you to use leverage and not strength to defeat your opponent, and I couldn’t quite “jiu-jitsu her.” I’m also not vain like “oh my beautiful face.” It’s like, “You didn’t block that. You suck.” every time I look in the mirror.

I’m glad my mom isn’t here to see this.

I love you all.

I turned 34 on September 24th, the day after the fight. Despite going to bed at 3 AM, Candy woke up and drove me and Jessy to the Urgent care at 8:30 AM because I have a bruised cornea. Thank you!

That’s like partial tear on the surface of the eye…it heals within a week, but the pain is excruciating. Every time you blink it’s like needles, and if you cry, the salt gets in… Because of that, I only iced my left eye so my right eye ended up swelling shut. Which was almost a blessing in disguise because I didn’t have to use facial muscles to hold it closed or get an eyepatch. I just looked super f*cked up so Jessy lent me her sunglasses. I don’t want people to look at me and be sad…

I kept bumping into people on my right side while walking, only looking through my very nearsighted left eye…and I thought to myself…dang, I’m glad I have an eye! Imagine trying to function in this world completely blind?! I have friends who got their orbitals broken, who see lines permanently in their vision, and that poor guy who went blind cuz Faber poked him in the eye? I’m so lucky I got off with a messed up face, bruised cornea, and swollen ankle.

Then when we finally got home, Jessica, Cindy, and Hannah burst into song!! A surprise party! 😀 aaaah Taco bell and ice cream cake! I’m so touched!!
I felt really loved.

Today, Sunday, through freezing my face, I managed to bring down the swelling a bit so I could open my right eye. I rewatched my fight…. :/
Then went over Cindy’s and had Hannah’s and her joint birthday party. It was nice. Now I’m back and looking at pictures of my fight.

My skull hurts a lot from bruises. x-x I can’t wait to heal up so I can get back to training. I want to do more gi BJJ and find out what physical training coach John has in store for me.

You never know in the MMA world. Things are crazy. Things never happen fairly or the way you’d guess. Things can change in fighters’ lives overnight with fight offers and opportunities. We all have to be ready mentally and physically at all time.

I did a pretty good job of being positive and uplifting in post fight interviews. Now I feel like sh*t and just want my cornea to heal so my vision stops being blurry so I can watch anime instead of laying on the sofa like a loser with ice packs covering my head…. I hope I can drive tomorrow.

Best fight camp of my career! I’m so ready!

Posted in fight on September 19th, 2016 by roxyfighter

This has been the best fight camp of my career! You know what made it so great?

I started WAY AHEAD OF TIME. I started dieting months in advance, so I didn’t have to stress about being exhausted from calorie deficit during training. I kept my cardio very good, and then just turned on the training hard the final month. That’s why I never really doing get “fight camps.” I built my regular training schedule so that I work as hard as my body can go without breaking and getting sick. The only extra thing I do before a fight is more cardio, and well, shark tanks, too.

Plus the game plan is straight forward, and I have all these moves I can’t WAIT to try!

And thanks to Teri, our resident massage therapist, my body feels great.

No injuries at all!! All my nagging injuries are silent. Just like before my last fight. Man, I owe her so much. It’s amazing. I haven’t felt this good in ages.

I feel like I can’t possibly lose! But of course I’m pushing those thoughts out of my head. Of course I could lose. I could go out there and slip when I should have blocked and she could knock me out with the first punch. That happened to my friend and it will always be in the back of my mind. Man, she was looking so good in training! And I’m not gonna be like “I’m gonna win because I want it more!” Jennifer Maia wants to win, too.

I like her. I really wish she would get more promotion but she doesn’t speak English so I guess it’s hard? :/
I posted this on intragram!
And she replied! 😀

Today was my last day with the team before leaving.
Mitts with head coach theonlypersonwhocanteachmestriking Jedi Master “Big” John Wood.
Wearing his clothing line “Maverick Unbranded.”

I wanna do well so badly but I’m trying not to put pressure on myself. I won’t let myself get caught up in, “I’m fighting for my family! for my friends! I must win for my coach!” yeah it’s true but just stick to the basics: I want to land the combos I’ve been working. When I repeat visualize the techniques it helps me calm down. Man, I’m not looking forward to fight day before the actual fight happens. Worst tension, worst indigestion, worst restlessness you ever experience.

Today I was sitting between Jess and Jessy after doing technique!
You ladies really helped me out with my fight prep. Certainly not the only people I trained with, but thanks for coming in to do shark tanks!
and Serena jumped in!! <3 The Reena! jess-jessy-and-serena-and-roxy

I’m ready.
Thanks to all my sponsors…so many fans and friends are supporting me! <3 thank you! 😀 roxy-posing-small
Dragon Do, Remove it Restoration,, Rob and Aardvark Painting, Top Notch Fighter, Cryohelmet, East and West, The Crilly Family, Celia Lemon Badger, Mike Boxing Wiz, Passive Jay, Katie and The Void, Gene Perez, Dominate Your Game, Idrink, Herbal Papaya, KSA Martial Arts Academy in Tennessee, my webmaster at, and my sponsor agent Brian Moore and Legends of the Cage.

For Crypohelmet, if you use the code ROXYCRYO you get 25% off! check out the website

Fightergirl’s BBQ, training, mentality, CM Punk’s fight, “performance”

Posted in every day, fight, friends, training on September 11th, 2016 by roxyfighter

My week was pretty awesome. I’m really happy with my training. Every session I achieve something.

Honestly, it’s almost been too good. I keep telling myself things over and over again to keep from being overconfident. I’m not “cocky” but I don’t want to feel like I’m gonna cream her and it’ll be easy. Jennifer Maia is really tough, really skilled, she’s gonna hit me hard, I have to keep pushing, I’m not perfect, I’m sure lots of my moves won’t land, I might get tired, my cardio isn’t endless.

I feel really good when I start thinking about how excited I am to be able to face off against the number 1 ranked fighter. I can’t wait to try all my new stuff! The only way I’ll feel pressure is when I start thinking about the significance of everything, like how this fight effects my life. If I just keep it simple, such as “I want to try my Roxycopter on her” everything else melts away.

My kids classes have been a bit small, probably due to back to school stuff, but my students are doing awesome! We’ve been working on arm-bars lately and a few kids have been making others tap.

Last weekend, the fightergirls of Syndicate had a BBQ at Jessica’s apartment complex! Hannah left before we could take the picture and Jamie couldn’t make it. But we had a lot of fun! I’m glad we could welcome Jessy Jess to the team.
Kalecia got a Darth Vader pinata, and we let the kids playing in the pool, plus Jessica’s kids whack at it. Actually, I was a little disappointed because I’ve never actually gotten to hit a pinata in my life. I thought that day might be the day but I was wrong. My disappointment was erased when we shooed the kids away and Serena decapitated it with a roundhouse kick. XD LOL
Today is September 11th. In 2001, I was a freshman in college and had just returned to my dorm room which I shared with two other girls. They were both watching TV and said, “Hey, an airplane just crashed into the World Trade Center!” I was like, “What?” How is that even possible? It was almost like watching a movie….impossible stuff like that don’t just HAPPEN to places I knew and loved!

Killing other people is sad. I wish people would stop. The end. It’s simple. Usually the most difficult, complicated-seeming things are actually the most simple.

SO yesterday I watched the UFC and watched CM Punk fight Mickey Gall. I’ve been curious and watched some pre-fight interviews of both men. I like them both, actually. Mickey seemed pretty down-to-earth and cool. I’ve actually met CM Punk before! It was at an Invicta show, and Shayna Baszler knew him from Pro wrestling.

So my feelings on this matter are…. “Pride never die!” Pride is the name of a Japanese MMA organization that always had “freak shows,” or big mismatches because they were interesting. They sold a lot of tickets and had a TV deal…until they didn’t, and MMA slowly died in popularity in Japan. But we Pride fans are sad so we say “Pride Never Die!” to continually show our support. Anyway, so the “sport” of Mixed martial arts is a combination of “sports” and “entertainment.” We fighters only get paid of people want to see us fight. People want to see us fight if A) we are skilled B) we have interesting, flashy moves C) look interesting, whether it be beautiful, or have big boobs, or are super ugly, or huge and monstrous, or maybe have an interesting personality (prolly why I got chosen for TUF).

CM Punk got his chance in the UFC because of his popularity in his pro wrestling career. A pro baseball player got to fight against an actual fighter in Pride. This is not like a president giving a cushy, well-paying desk job to his son or daughter where they do nothing and collect money. These guys who are not prepared will get beaten down. I have no sympathy if they go in there unprepared. They, or their coaches, should know this and if they they still want to try and show their skills, good luck to them. They trained hard and I can respect that. Losing a fight is traumatizing as hell!

Another thing is, I’ve always found it weird when people talk about a fighters “performance.” When I came back to America after living in Japan for years, it struck me as odd to hear that word, but I figured I was just getting used to English again. lol I’m not really “performing.” I’m fighting. I don’t care what other people think of the beauty of my punches and kicks. I’m going out there to win a fight which could result in broken bones or concussions. I’d rather say “Oh you fought well” rather than “You had a good performance.” Performance my butt! I’m not an actor. The weigh-ins are my performance.

So yeah. 🙂

Oh, check out my new sponsor “Cryohelmet.” It cools the head after sparring, and is good to make headaches and migraines go away. If you use the code “ROXYCRYO” at purchase, you get 25% off!

And idrink!

the law of the fight game, shugyou

Posted in fight, training on September 1st, 2016 by roxyfighter

My week has been pretty great.

I haven’t run stairs in a week and a half because I’m getting plenty of stamina and cardio training from Saturday’s MMA circuit and Wednesday’s shark-tanks. My weight is really low thanks to my good diet, self control, and food poisoning. 😀 I only have to lose two more pounds of fat and then I’m good. I can do that in one week.

One of my friends once told me that I shouldn’t write that I’m learning so much and I don’t know this and that, because I’m supposed to be a high-level fighter who should give the impression of being a master and not weak.

I don’t agree at all, but every time I write “I learned this new thing!” I think of him. haha But really, lately I’ve been learning things that I didn’t know I didn’t know. Sometimes it’s frustrating because sometimes I know that I’m doing portion A of the move correctly, like the stepping and hip movement, but there’s some portion B I’m doing wrong. I’m not sure what B is, but I know that’s the problem. However my coach keeps explaining portion A again. Then my brain gets stuck and even if he happens to mention the real problem, I sometimes don’t notice. That happened yesterday. Later, my training partner was like, “Actually your problem was using your upper body and arms to pull more” and then I realized my coach had mentioned that, but my focus was on the other thing so it didn’t sink in. 🙁

Communication is complicated, isn’t it? My brain is complicated. AT LEAST IT’S IN ENGLISH! 😀 I remember my former instructors trying to explain something in Japanese and I kept having to tell them to slow down because not only did my brain have to understand how the technique worked, but I had to translate the meaning of the words first. x_x The average non-language teacher has trouble slowing their speech.

Anyway. I randomly learned two super important techniques without even meaning to this week.

Jessy Jess is here visiting from Australia to train! I didn’t even know her last name until ten minutes ago when I googled it + sherdog LOL…it’s Clark. I love having her here and training with her. She attacked me with some stuff that I’m not used to, and that lead to me practicing a new defense. Thank youuuu. New friend, yay. (purple hair)
girls monday practice jessy
Coach John has been putting in a lot of extra time to my fight camp. I hope he knows how grateful I am. I’m tired every day and I don’t have to worry about taking care of a family or running a gym or managing other people’s fight careers or a clothing line, etc!
What clothing line? I’m SO GLAD YOU ASKED. Check out
maverick shirts

So a shark-tank means that I do five 5-minute rounds with a mix of hitting pads hard with John, then Jessy will try to take me down and I have to defend, then Jessica will hold me against the cage and I have to get away, then I have to pick up the heavy bag, carry it around, slam it down, ground and pound, then get back up and hit mitts, then Jessy will get on top and I have to escape, etc.
shark tank with john jessy jess
It’s already not easy when you are feeling energetic and in shape, but what if you’re tired and hurt?

Pretty much, the law of the fight game is that you have to “win anyway.” You could be gassed, but you have to punch anyway. Your hand could be broken, but you have to find a way to win anyway. Hurt eye? Tired arms? Cramping legs? Move anyway. Find a way to win anyway. Or you lose.

I’ve known this and believed in it for a long time. “Win anyway” became a mantra after I fought Hashi with hurt knee. I accepted the fight and realized that I couldn’t use the knee as an excuse.

And if I can dork out for a moment, can you name a single anime series where the hero isn’t already tired and beat up from fighting lackies before facing the end villain, who is always fresh? Can you?
luffy vs donflamingo
Anime is life, how many times do I have to tell you this? 😀

I’ve gotten into shamisen music. I’ve always liked it. It’s in some Naruto battle music. I also love the Yoshida brothers. Here’s a video of theirs.

I’ve been really into Hakuoki lately. It’s an anime covering the Boshin war in 1868. The characters (who are attractive and bad-ass) are actually real people. The character development is good. They act very Japanese and very bushido. I love it.
hakuouki group
(click to enlarge)
They depict the highest standards of honor. Whether in real life it was really like that 100% of the time is another matter, but the ideals are what I shoot for in my life.

That’s the other thing…. I feel I need to strive for perfection, and since it can’t be reached, I’ll never sit back and believe I’ve reached it. That’s why I prefer to wear white jiu-jitsu gi’s after all… it symbolizes purity of heart and an open mind.
And there’s not only physical practice of techniques, there’s “Shugyo,” which translates roughly to mental training.