Roxanne Modafferi

The Happy Warrior

My TUF 26 Fight Week blog – Roxy vs Nicco for the title

Posted in Ultimate Fighter/UFC on December 7th, 2017 by roxyfighter

I got a link online to watch the last TUF episode, so I watched it on Monday. It’s always interesting to watch my own fights because I forget half of what happened and how it happened. My fight against Sijara was great, but since I lost, it made me feel really down. I knew I had to snap out of it since I would be fighting Barb that Friday. I tried. I’d been dieting, salt cutting, and water loading. My weight cut was going according to schedule. I got my final massage therapy from Teri and I felt great. In fact, I’ve never felt so great! I was also in great shape. I did my final set of running stairs. I reviewed the game plan with Coach John on mitts lightly. My mind was ready. My emotions were ready.

Wednesday evening, I taught my 4 o’clock kids class, and then started my weight cut by putting on a sauna suit, sweat clothes, doing cardio like jump rope and the bike, and hitting mitts with John. I had stopped eating and drinking at 3 PM that afternoon. It was hard to keep a sweat going in the cool wintertime, so I ended up doing a bath for like 15 minutes at home and losing a pound.

TUF was on that night, so I monitored my social media for people’s replies and actions. People were supportive and kind to me, about my fight, and about the fact that I wouldn’t have the title shot. Finally it was released that I’d fight Barb. Yay.

I planned to get up at 4:30 so Serena and I could go to my teammate Casey’s house. My apartment ran out of hot water quickly, so I needed a house’s bathtub to cut. The hotel rooms that were provided had showers only. WTF That was a big source of stress for me, trying to figure out where I’d cut weight. Eric and Andrew were staying at John’s so I thought there wouldn’t be a tub for me to cut in. Serena’s parent’s house’s water heater JUST broke, so they were out.

I went to bed.

2:30 AM my phone rang. I’d been leaving my phone on because my schedule was erratic and I was scared of missing a USADA drug testing surprise visit. I jolted awake and grabbed my phone. It was an unknown number.

USADA?!?!?!?!?!

Roxy: “…. hello…?
man: Yes, hi this is Mick, the match maker at the UFC.”
Roxy: “…….oh….hi…”
Mick: “Sorry to call at this time (something like this, I was half asleep) but ….. Sijara most likely won’t make weight. Would you like to step in and fight for the title?”
Roxy: “uh…………….. YES!!!!!! Yes!”
Mick: “So you’d have to make 125 on the dot.”
Roxy: “Yes! No problem! I mean, I know I just fought Sijara on the show but I’ll fight her again.”
Mick: “….You’d be fighting Nicco.”
Roxy: “…omg I am half asleep…. of course, Nicco. Great.”
Mick: “Haha don’t worry, I am, too. We still have to get a hold of Dana. We’ll let you know when it’s confirmed.”
Roxy: “Okay! Bye!” *squints at the clock* Omg it’s 2:30.

I was shaking from the adrenaline of being jolted awake. Then I thought, man, there’s no way she’s going to miss weight. This happens every time she fights. She’s gonna cut her hair or something and be fine. Dang it. Oh well.

It took me an hour to go back to sleep, but I got another hour in before I had to wake up to go to Casey’s.

I only did two salt baths instead of my normal four, thanks to cutting out salt earlier in the week!
Thanks Serena and Casey! Captain came to support me but I was already done. Thanks anyway!

124.5 pounds! I texted Mick the photo of my scale reading that weight, and he confirmed that Sijara was out and I was in. “Are you sure? She’s so determined to do it…” I said. “No, she’s in the hospital with kidney failure,” he wrote.

Dang, that’s horrible!! Worrisome! I hoped she was okay, but omg I was fighting for the title!??
It started to sink in. We drove to the Monte Carlo and hung out until weigh ins.

We did the official weigh-ins.

I’m not allowed to wear anything crazy for weigh-ins like I usually do, so I did a pose: the Vulcan Salute. 🙂

Then I found out I was getting a pay raise…. !!!

In reality, I’ve been fighting for 14 years, never really being able to support myself with my fight money. In Japan, I worked full time and saved my money. In Vegas, I lived off said saved money. I was breaking even with Invicta plus teaching kids at Syndicate. It’s like, finally, dollars are equaling the amount of effort I put into my training. Not even yet. It hasn’t even come close, if I think about dragging myself home every single day of the week. I sacrifice so much. I would like a boyfriend and a family. I would like to travel around the world. But no. I have no energy for a boyfriend, no time for kids or travel, and I have to save money because I fight so infrequently. Somebody on twitter asked me what I’m going to buy. Nothing, dude. I’m visiting my family for Christmas on the east coast. Maybe I’ll get to see them two or three times next year instead of once. I took my car Lee, a 2008 Toyota Corolla, to get his yearly maintenance that I’d been putting off for a month. That’s what I’m buying.

Anyway, that’s enough about that. 🙂

I cannot believe I forgot to use Bonny’s Ihop gift card. lol But these New York Cheesecake pancakes WERE THE BOMB!

My friends Candy and Katie traveled in from Texas and Illinois to see me and support me. <3 I enjoyed spending time with them, and having a nice dinner with them plus teammates at Fuzzy's.
I felt really really loved.

The public weigh-ins were fun. I pretended to be mad and got up right in Nicco’s face with a super aggressive face on. Dana was like, “WHOA WHOA WHOA!” and then I broke into a smile. hahaha He laughed and said, “You scared the sh*t out of me.” XD HAH


I also wore tall UFC socks with colorful Reebok socks on over top. Soxy Roxy! Dude, they won’t let us cosplay.

I was soooo tired by the end of the day. I didn’t rest at all despite doing a hard weight cut. I was running around doing extra interviews, getting my hair done, running to the dinner, and then we hurried to John’s house to gameplan for Nicco because I had no idea how to fight her. lol We watched all of her TUF fights and decided that Lauren, Montana, and Barb, all used lots of energy trying and failing to take her down, so I shouldn’t do that. I should strike with her until a take down opportunity arose, but don’t force it. I was in great shape but I’d been doing four rounds in conditioning, not five. Four to train for a three round fight, you know?

Fight day! Slept alright. Woke up, had a great breakfast. I managed to not be too nervous throughout the day. I actually felt less anxious fighting Nicco than Barb, because I had the whole “I’ve been dying for a rematch for six years!” The belt didn’t really feel real. I took a nap in the middle of the day. I spent time by myself, which I wanted.

The fight! Captain told me that he had a dream that I won by armbar.
I was the main event but thank goodness it wasn’t ridiculously late. I fought around 9:30 PM. USADA drug tested me. Warm up went well.

Then we fought.

We fought our hearts out.


Some people on the UG were saying our technique was terrible and we sucked. Another pro on twitter said “Watching two girls not good at striking bang it out is entertaining.” Oh we’re not good. That’s why in all the pictures you see clean shots landing. That’s why you see we hardly drop our hands when throwing like half the roster.

Whatever, I felt like that was my best performance. I felt I was winning on the feet. I actually took her down a few times, something with nobody else was able to do on the show, but I didn’t have enough time to work and finish the fight when it happened. Once time I was off balance and based out and that’s when she slipped her leg up for the triangle. I was like, “CRAP!” and my corner called “Thirty seconds!” I thought, “Damnit, should I try to escape and risk her getting the submission, or should I just hang on and survive for 30 seconds and probably lose the round in the judges’ eyes? If I escape I’d be on top but maybe not have enough time to finish the fight.” I took the safe route and didn’t give my all to escape. Was that the right decision?

Another time she was coming forward and I kneed her head. She ate it and took me down. She didn’t do any damage since I deflected the blows, but it looked good in the judges’s eyes. Was I wrong to knee? I could have knocked her out! Maybe she wouldn’t have gotten the takedown.

She caught a kick and took me down. Should I have not kicked? It was just one of those things.

She got the mount and side control but I escaped without damage. But it looked good in the judges’ eyes.

In the middle of the fight I heard my jiujitsu coach start calling for a take down. I did one of his striking combo suggestions and landed a nice hook. I was so excited! I don’t often land hooks because my opponents move around a lot and I’m usually chasing them. But I didn’t want to dive after her to do a takedown because she would just sprawl on me. She was back-peddling out of range really fast. Nicco is super good at defending those kinds of shots, and I was tired. Yeah, I was getting tired. Not to the point of failure yet, but I was cautious. It didn’t show at all because I was trying hard to mask it. I did things like circled, shook my arms out, did feints. But I was tired in the later rounds. It’s crazy how smooth and fluid we can be in training, but come fight time, I feel so stiff because I’m trying to throw as hard as I can.

Sometimes I couldn’t hear my corner, and when I wasn’t sure of what combo to throw, I had a moment of anxiety. Then I heard John’s voice: “Trust me that I trust you to know what to do.” And then the anxiety went away and I just did my best.

I fought SO hard. I always looked for the chance to take down but it wasn’t there. Even when I held her against the cage, she just kind of muscled me off and I knew I’d just be wasting my energy to hold her there.

I decided to try and force the takedown in the last round but then she rushed forward, I clinched, kneed, got taken down.

DAMNIT!!

Then I got the armbar locked in!! I remembered Captain’s dream. OMG I’M GONNA DO IT!

I grabbed at her wrist as hard as I could, and my fingers slid inside the wrist band of her glove.
My inner voice said, “Crap, that’s an illegal grip. Roxy, you get your fingers out of her glove RIGHT NOW. Upon our honor as martial artists, you do it right, or you don’t deserve it.”

The second I tried to readjust my grip and use the other hand as well, she yanked her arm. It slid out of my grasp, and along with it, went the championship belt and all my hopes and dreams.

I knew I had no time to take her down, get top position, and work from there, but I tried.
I knew she would get the decision. I didn’t feel like she beat me up, you know? I thought it was really close and she got some good positions. I really felt like I could have won this fight, but stuff happened. Nicco is great. We are friends so I’m glad it was her who has good fortune. She has skill, talent, and is a good person. She also fought her butt off. Hats off to you for taking this fight, my friend.

At the moment I saw Dana wrapping it around Nicco’s waste, I thought, “That could have been me. My life could have changed.” But I knew I had to smile and carry on.


I’m very spiritually centered. I know that I gave it all I could. I conceded nothing that I could avoid. I put forth all the effort I could while fighting smart. I never took breaks despite being so tired. I trained so hard. I even got sick from over training. In my heart I was satisfied, but it still hurt so much. I knew my coaches were sad, too, so I didn’t know what to say to them. I know you’re not supposed to say “sorry.” Smile and carry on. At the end of the day, no matter how much positive thinking I tried, I lost the title fight. Part of me wondered if this would be my only chance at a title shot. Another part told me to shut up and don’t think about that, just focus on training to get stronger. Smile and carry on.

I really wanted to hand the belt to John and say, “I would have retired if it weren’t for you, and now look at this!” I was in such shock and arguing with myself internally I don’t even think I hugged John and Captain after the fight. Maybe I did. I don’t remember. Dana came up to me and said stuff like “Great fight!” etc but I can’t remember any of it. I was just trying to stand there and smile and keep it together for the post-fight interview I knew was coming. Then Daniel Cormier came up to me and put his hand on my shoulder. My inner voice said, “Hold your head up. Smile. Be proud. Show that you are strong.” He paused. The crowd started cheering.

I hadn’t even said anything yet! I smiled for real then. I felt so loved. Even though I lost, I knew the fans would still love me because I have the best fans in the world. I knew I had friends and teammates and students out there, too. I was overwhelmed with that and I was so happy at that moment.

Thanks to John and Captain for being here for me.

And my friends.

This weekend was really stressful emotionally. I haven’t even really mentally rested from this whole thing because a lot of stuff is going on. I met with John and discussed what kind of training to focus on next to make me better. I’m excited to start, but my nose is still swollen and I got a skin infection from the cage mat, so I couldn’t even teach my kids this week yet! -_-;

I’ve had such an outpouring of love and support from fans and friends on social media. Thank you so much. It really helps me. Probably asside from my coaches, my biggest thanks goes to Serena Southpaw. She has been by my side through the whole thing. She has missed practice, missed sleep, trained with me and helped me do shark tanks, taught kids classes for me, helped me weight cut, tolerated my moods, given me hugs, offered to get things and do things for me. I don’t know what I would have done without her. I love you, my friend. You are the very definition of what a friend should be.

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TUF26 blog ep 12: Roxy vs Sijara! the final episode! all the details!

Posted in Ultimate Fighter/UFC on December 5th, 2017 by roxyfighter

This blog is a little late because the last TUF episode aired literally the day I started cutting weight for my TUF Finale fight.

Let’s travel back in time to the TUF 26 house in August. Everybody was looking forward to going home and was counting down the days. My fight vs Sijara was on the last day. We’d fight at noon, and then go back to the house, pack, get our phones back, get bussed to the hotel, and then go out to eat with Dana White. Busy busy. There were two matches…me vs Sarj, and Barb vs Nicco.

So my body was really unhappy with me for putting it through so much stress so frequently. It sucked cutting weight 7 days after my last cut. Other TUF contestants who made it as far as I had said so, but I didn’t realize what that really meant. My body always swells up for about two or three days after my cut, probably due to depriving it of sodium for a week, dehydrating myself ten pounds, and then suddenly eating and drinking a ton. I hit 145 the day after my Emily fight, which is ridiculous. I was walking around normally hydrated at 135. After I fought Emily, I only had one cheat day, and then went back on my diet. My period came and went although it wasn’t my time for like two weeks straight, indicating my hormones were confused and effed up. I didn’t have an appetite for a few days after my fight with Emily, which is weird…even when I’m sick, I always have an appetite. I was a little worried about myself. Lol

I just want to share with the public what goes on behind the scenes with female fighters.

I was also nervous about my state of physical conditioning going into the fight with Sarj because I’d been taking it easy a few days before fighting Emily, and then of course I had to rest my body after the fight. But then I’d be in the “take it easy before my fight with Sarj” period, not leaving me any time to recondition for it, since they were only 7 days apart! I figured Sarj was going through even worse with her weight cut and stuff. :/ I think I did burpies every day and tried to train kind of hard for two days that week, which I wouldn’t do on a normal fight week. The Ultimate Fighter is bizarre. I was actually worried about Sarj’s health. I gave some interviews saying that I felt the moral responsibility to beat Sarj to save her from having to cut weight down to 125 for a title shot, hoping the UFC would sign her for 135 lb fights.

Weight in morning, I was in the process of losing my final 4 pounds weigh-in morning in the bath tub, being helped by Maia as usual. I was taking my 8 minute break wrapped up in towels on the floor when I saw Sarj walk by chatting energetically with someone. I thought, “What? Is she done?” I tried to eves-drop and gathered that she cut it all at the PI the night before and was on weight. Well dang, that’s great! I was relieved and happy for her! She’s my friend, after all, until the moment she steps into the cage with me.

I didn’t have any other ideas for funny weigh-ins so I just wore the shark hat that my friend Katie gave me. I was thinking I’d wear it for a stare-down with DeAnna if we fought again because she brought a shark onsie, but that ended up not happening.

It looked super goofy, but whatever, it goes with my personality. Lol

So after weigh-ins, the teams decided to have a group practice. I’m so disappointed that the TUF editors didn’t show this! It was epic! This was the first time teams practiced together in the entire 15 year history of the Ultimate Fighter! Team Gaethje fighters hit mitts and grappled with Alvarez coaches, and vice versa. Then they played dodgeball and rugby and stuff. I wanted to join in so much, but I had just cut weight and would fight tomorrow, so I knew I couldn’t. It was amazing to watch!!

Then, the next day, Sijara and I fought.

It was epic. The only thing more epic than that fight was my title fight a few days ago, but I digress. I feel like I was winning on the feet. I started to feel my arms and legs get a little tired in the middle of the fight, and I knew it was because I didn’t have my normal conditioning with Lorenzo. Man, I really missed hearing John’s voice call out combinations. I kind of winged it….all I could hear was Justin telling me “go forward!” and “She’s getting tired!” Yeah, well, I was going forward…what combos do you want me to throw? And NO, she’s NOT getting tired. Stop saying she’s getting tired. -_-;; I know they were doing their best to coach. I’ll never blame a coach for my loss. It’s totally my responsibility.

I wanted to take her down, but she was so much stronger than me, so I decided to try and keep it standing. She reversed positions and defended takedowns with muscle to aid her technique. It was one of those situations where our technique ability was similar but she had more strength to back it up.

Yes! Judo throw takedown!

Yes!

wait….

noooo….

wtf! -_-;

She didn’t do any damage from top positions because I deflected ground and pound, but it looked good for the judges.

She defended my submission attempts. She fought very well. I felt like I lost but I didn’t feel like she beat me up, you know? I like Sijara and she worked so hard for it that I wasn’t mad, but I was of course devastated. I worked hard, too, for years. I’ve been fighting for 14 years, making pennies. I try so hard not to be jealous when some young newcommer gets signed having less than ten fights and is making tens of thousands of dollars. I wanted to win for myself and also for my coaches. The cameras didn’t catch me crying this time because I locked the bathroom door. Hahaha take that!

They made me sit off to the side in the shadows while Barb fought Nicco. I tried to focus but couldn’t.

When Nicco won, I thought hazily, “Maybe I can fight Barb on the finale now! I got to the semi-finals so there’s no way they won’t put me on the undercard!” I felt hope and knew I just had to go back to Syndicate and get stronger.
I gave a really good post-fight speech but they only showed a little bit of it. I talked about how, now when I feel the worst is the most important time to force your mind to focus on the positive aspects, because once you start slipping down the slope of negativity, it’s even harder to crawl out of that hole.
I kept reminding myself of how many of my punches landed on Sijara, which is an accomplishment for me, how we put on an exciting fight and impressed Dana, and how I might get to fight Barb if they let me in the finale.

As expected, they carted us back to the house, had us pack and get ready for dinner…which was REALLY hard when you’re mourning your fight loss, depressed, hurt, exhausted, etc. I binge-ate all the left-over ice cream in the freezer, stuffed my bags with non-perishable food from the pantry, and ate the sushi burritos that the staff from Jaburritos. THANK YOU, guys OMG. They didn’t have to do that! XD
We took a bunch of pictures.



I got the staff to drive me home instead of a hotel, and I got to hug Serena! Then I went to drive to the Italian restaurant on Freemont street at like 7 PM but my car Lee’s battery had corroded from disuse!! So Serena called me an Uber. ^^;; Poor Lee.


Dinner was nice!

Yeah so that was the final day and the story of my fight. The next week I went back to my normal kids teaching schedule at Syndicate, and the week after that, training. Things that happened during my fight with Sijara haunted me for months, as losses tend do. I asked John if I could request the match up with Barb. He said yes, and the very next week, they offered without us having to ask!

…. stay tuned for my next blog about that!

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Last week (kids BJJ tourney, training, Thxgvng) TUF 26 ep 11 blog

Posted in every day, fight, friends, fun, training, Ultimate Fighter/UFC on November 24th, 2017 by roxyfighter

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My Consumer IT! Business solutions company!
http://myconsumerit.com

Last Saturday my friend Serena and I coached our jiujitsu students at a tournament. Scarlett ended up fighting the same girl twice and won both times, giving her first place! I don’t know why my other student Griffin decided he didn’t want to compete…. his older brother did but didn’t win. They all fought hard, though.



She immediately got o-soto-gari, got side control, got mount, and worked for the choke. Couldn’t finish it, though, so won on points.

She’s soooooooo cute. She’s small and quiet for her age (I think she’s 6, almost 7?), so I’m glad she’s doing something like jiujitsu.

My friend who I met in Japan Brittany came and visited Vegas, and we had lunch together while she was here! 😀

I promise to keep in touch better, Buri-chan! I’ve missed you.

Training this week has been really really good. I’ve been really giving all I’ve got and can feel myself improving and getting stronger every day.
Part of last week and the week before, John was in Australia cornering Jessy….by the way CONGRATULATIONS, JESSY JESS! She was signed to fight Vanessa Porto in Invicta, but then got a short-notice offer to face Bec Rawlings in the UFC, so she took the opportunity. I was really impressed with her performance!

I thought she fought really well, and earned a unanimous decision, not the split that they gave her. But whatever, a win is a win and the fight speaks for itself. It was exciting and she landed more hard strikes, plus good ground control. I had fallen asleep due to Roxalepsy on Serena’s parent’s floor waiting for it to come on, but woke right up when she came on. Good job.

So I want to thank Captain for coming in on Monday just to coach me while John wasn’t here. Word cannot express how grateful I am for the support.


And everyone else at Team Syndicate, like Jordan and Adam, who take time to teach me stuff, or work with me on the side.
Yesterday I had Thanksgiving dinner with Serena and her family. Thank you for including me! <3 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ oookay on to The Ultimate Fighter. This episode was all about Barb vs Nicco. I have so much respect for both these athletes! Nicco is my teammate and slept on the bunk above me. Barb is a fellow-early-riser and I consider her one of my biggest rivals in my MMA career. I wanted to fight Barb so badly from the very beginning, and was wondering how they would seed us. I knew I'd have to make it to the end in order to get to face her. The episode started out showing footage of the prank Eddie pulled on Justin with parking the car. I had wondered about that because I hadn't been there for it! See, that's my kind of prank. Harmless but mischievous. Well done, Eddie. It's funny that they used footage of the PI in like the second week we were there. I know this because I only worked out there once, because we had to go on our rest day, so I avoided doing Strength and Conditioning on my only day off after a massage which I desperately needed. They show me pushing the sled, and they also show Lauren with Team Alvarez.

I love how you can see our art gallery! DeAnna and Shana requested colored pencils and paper and left it on the dining room table, so everybody drew stuff in their free time.

Actually, Sarj and I fought on the same day, right before Nicco and Barb, but for some reason, the TUF crew decided to show their fight first. You can see me cutting weight in the back by hitting pads with Luke. haha

So lots of interviews and then they fought!

The fight went everywhere! There was a lot of clinch fighting and cage wrestling. In the end, Nicco did more and got the decision win. I was actually watching from across the room in the shadows, because after my fight, they made me sit off to the side where I wouldn’t be in any camera shots.

Tune in next week for the final episode and to see my fight with Sijara! There are some other things I’d like to write about, but I’m not sure if it’s gonna be shown, so I have to wait so I don’t reveal anything too soon. 🙂

hard but amazing week, and TUF 26 ep 9

Posted in fight, Ultimate Fighter/UFC on November 12th, 2017 by roxyfighter

This past week was hard because I started to catch a cold the previous Friday. I managed to rest and recover so I didn’t get a fever or anything, but I felt so drained and exhausted all of last week.

I still trained, of course, because I wasn’t in the contagious stage anymore. I had many great practices. I improved my jiujitsu with my private lessons with Captain. Man, I always feel like I level up after training with him. Did mittwork with John, always improving all aspects of my game. I feel so confident. Serena helped me with a shark tank with him in the cage, which is intensive training including striking, grappling, cage-work, and ground and pound. Serena helps me so much in training! I’m really appreciative. Lorenzo has helped me get stronger and get in great shape. I love him!

Last week my second fight aired on The Ultimate Fighter! I did an interview with the Las Vegas Review Journal with Heidi found here:
https://www.reviewjournal.com/sports/mma-ufc/roxanne-modafferi-previews-tuf-26-fight-against-emily-whitmire-video/
and then FOX sports flew me to Los Angeles to be on TUF talk! I did shark tank in the morning and hurried to the airport after that. I was so exhausted from training, plus my body finishing up killing my cold, but I think it was good for me to be on the show. It was such a cool experience!


A professional make-up artist did my make up…. I told her “natural.”



I had a dressing room with a star next to my name, next to Karyn Bryant! I got to talk to Daniel Cormier! I got to show off my Spiderman socks and explain my collection on national tv. hahaha!

The episode had my fight, Sarj vs DeAnna, and then what happened with the weight cut. Everyone was asking me what I thought of Lauren’s actions. Man, Lauren is taking a lot of heat right now. I kind of feel bad for her.
Yes, I think it was okay that she and like 5 other people started cutting weight. Yes, I think she should have vacated the sauna earlier when Sarj asked her to. BUT she apologized later. People make mistakes. All you can do is apologize for them, right? Lauren REALLY tried so hard to be cool with everybody, fighters on both teams, and the coaches, too. She was always polite when talking to people. She never exploded angrily and cussed anybody out, except when Eddie called her the wrong name. She wanted to win so badly! She wanted to fight so badly!
I also understand Sarj’s perspective, too. It’s upsetting to have someone trying to vie for your spot and opportunity, and she did have one more hour.

Unfortunately, there was only one sauna. AND only one scale.

Guys, it’s so rough to be in the TUF House. It’s a pressure cooker and there is no escape. You literally can not leave. You have no emotional support unless you made close friends while on the show. Someone on Twitter once said that my TUF blogs sounded negative, and what was wrong?

It’s REALLY HARD and not exactly pleasant to be locked away with no freedom, having to do exactly what the staff tell you to do, without your team, etc. I wanted my team, my gym, Taco Bell, my anime, my friends, everything. At least I had my pillow! Actually, this experiences wasn’t that bad for ME. The staff were really polite and bent over backwards to do what they could to make us comfortable and happy within the limits of their power. I’m really grateful for all their efforts.

I never like calling fights. When someone asks me who I think will win, I never really am convinced anyone will win. Anyone can beat anyone at any given time! Even if you analyze their skills and strengths. I fought Jessica Rakoczy on Season 18 She was 1-2 as a pro MMA fighter and beat me, and I was like 15-9 or something, I forget.

I know who I WANT to win. I really liked Sarj but I knew DeAnna personally from before so I wanted her to advance. I always just tell the questioners that my friend will win. lol I was so shocked at that head kick KO! It was…stunning. I thought Sarj was a boxer. Whelp, I guess she can kick, too! Damn! Well, I kind of didn’t want to fight DeAnna again because I had already fought her and won, but on the other hand I thought I would win again so that would be good…but I didn’t want her to LOSE to Sarj, which would be what would have to happen for us to NOT fight again.

That was a long sentence. Did you get that? lol

There were actually two fights that day. I had gone first, so I got to watch the second one from off to the side in the corner near the doctor check area.

About my fight, I knew Emily had skills. I thought I probably had more since I’d been training for longer. She also only fought at 115, so I figured I wouldn’t get out-muscled. I can’t say I thought I’d be stronger, because physical strength is not one of my strengths. (is that… a pun? not sure. moving on…)

When I got out there….man, I missed Coach John’s voice in my ear telling me what good combinations to throw.

He is the gamer. I am his character. He shouts it, I throw it. We are connected. It’s really cool. This time, I just kind of did my striking by instinct… for better or for worse! I did hear Luke Caudillo (on Team Gaethje) who gave pretty good advice which I followed. Of course when playing any video game, you gotta get used to the controls. He did a great job for a fighter he’d only been training for three weeks. I heard Vinny’s voice perfectly, and he did a fantastic job of jiujitsu cornering. I’m so grateful to them. I think I would have gone nuts if I hadn’t met Luke, who holds pads and coaches similar to John. He also took the time to give me reassuring talks. So grateful.


Maia was always by my side during weight cut, and helping me warm up before my fight. Thank you, my friend! I miss you! <3
Anyway, I had never actually trained with Emily ONCE because she hurt her rib right as I was getting back to training after my first fight. She probably saw me doing my spinning backfist stuff while she was training elsewhere. I complimented her on her ducking under it and shooting later, and she said, “I saw you thinking about it.” That’s kind of a cool statement.

No, that was not the Roxynado. I gotta be more careful in the future that people don’t read my super attacks.

One interviewer asked me if I felt her giving up in the fight. Um, no? I wasn’t really trying to sense her feelings. I was just trying to hit her as much as I could so the ref would stop the fight. People online are saying I suddenly am “vicious” or have a “new killer instinct.” I don’t really think so… I just know how to throw ground and pound better thanks to Coach John. It was one week after my fight against Mariana Morais in Invicta, where I was hitting her and hitting her and Big John McCarthy WOULD NOT STOP THE FIGHT. He whispered to me in the corner walking by, “You’re not hitting hard enough.” So I said to Coach John later, “Please teach me how to ground and pound better so the ref stops the fight so I don’t have to keep hitting her” And oh he did.

Once in the cage, I’m switched on. I’m no longer kind “Roxy,” I’m “Warrior” in The Happy Warrior, who has struggled, sweat, cried, bled, and bore the pain to get where she is now, to win, to prove herself. I feel no emotions in the cage until time is up.


I’m glad I won. I was just so relieved.

oh btw what was with not showing my weigh in clothes? Maia did my make up, and I wore her black dress which was SUPER tight because it was two sizes too small for me….. and I pretended like I didn’t wanna take it off. It had a zipper down the front. I am shy so it was hard for me, but that was my ‘weigh in dress up’ deal I did. Oh well….

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TUF 26 blog ep 8 – Emily vs Christina, coaches’ challenge

Posted in Ultimate Fighter/UFC on November 4th, 2017 by roxyfighter

8/5/17

Today is Saturday. Yesterday in the morning, I was still sore, and was so happy when Justin said it was a day for privates. I hit mitts with Luke for about 15 or 20 minutes in the ring, out of view from Emily, who was on the bike which is pointed towards the cage. Luke held foam bats to warm up. It was my first time hitting those. I liked the combos he had me throw.

Then, I did jiujitsu with Justin. Haha He let me get him in a full rear naked choke but his neck was so thick that I couldn’t choke him. He just flexed his neck muscles. I used all of the strength in my entire body and I couldn’t tap him! Captain does that to me! LOL It was funny.

This episode shows a lot of the history of Christina and Emily. I remember Emily said that she will be champion because she doesn’t have other things to distract her, like a family or kids etc. I agree in part with that, that if you are single and focused only on training, you aren’t distracted by other things or responsibilities.

Ask me how I know this. 🙂

It really sounds like she overcame a lot to make it this far in her MMA career! She’s 2-1 as a pro, but Dana said she had 10 amateur fights, which don’t seem to be all on Sherdog. Ask me how I know this. (I researched her and Christina and a few others just before the staff took my phone before I went into the house. I saw how scrappy, quick, and dangerous on the ground she was!)
I actually watched this fight online in the hotel room…

Emily’s like, “Hi, I’m gonna smash your face now.”

I also saw Christina, who seemed to have a lot of power, but lead with her kicks a lot. I was watching this fight with great interest since I would have to fight the winner. I thought that if the fight was drawn out and Emily was hit in the rib, Christina might win, but if Emily got her down, she might win. I didn’t want to fight Emily because 1) she was on my team, and 2) I would feel bad and conflicted knowing she was injured. But I also didn’t want her to LOSE, which would have to happen if I were to fight Christina.

Soooo I just tried to not care about anything except my own condition.

Emily did the smart thing and used the techniques she does best to take Christine down and submit her. I was super impressed! I was so happy for her that she overcame her injury and won. I immediately felt better about fighting her, but thought, “Crap,” at the same time. Mentally I could see how dangerous she was, so I knew I wouldn’t hold back when we had to fight. I always feel bad for someone in a short fight, because they didn’t get to show all they were capable of doing, like Christina this time.

Oh well, such is the fight game.

The coaches challenge wasn’t that interesting. I hate to offend anyone in charge of putting it together, but I was hoping for something unusual or weird, like dropping watermelons out of a helicopter onto a target, or jousting above pools of water…..

My shoulders and neck get sore after swimming for a while, and Justin wasn’t a swimmer. I thought Eddie might swim a bit. So we pretty much watched our coaches suffer for a while, and I was cutting weight so everyone around me was eating. I just felt bad for them both.

About Lauren changing teams….I’m glad she did. I can see both sides, how Eddie would be offended, but how Lauren is trying to do what’s best for her. She really made a big effort to talk to the girls on both teams and make sure it was ‘okay’ with them. She tried hard to be polite to Eddie, too. I mean, it’s natural that he gets upset, so I think that was unavoidable, and took guts on Lauren’s part.

Well, you gotta have guts if you’re a fighter. We were happy to have Lauren train with us. I like her. I know she was trying to keep her weight low just in case she had to step in due to an injury or weight-miss. Hey, every woman for herself in The House.

Read Lauren’s blog for her recounting of the situation: http://laurenmurphymma.com/tuf-26-episode-8/

I’m so excited that my second fight will finally be shown next Wednesday. Tune in!