Roxanne Modafferi

The Happy Warrior

lots of work Tuesday and Wednesday

Posted in earth quake and aftermath, every day, work on March 30th, 2011 by roxyfighter

Tuesday and Wednesday seemed to merge together. I was pretty exhausted and kind of hanging on from the weekend. I think I avoided getting sick! 😀

I found a sale on goya! 😀

And in taking a goofy picture, I made an amazing discovery! 😀 The ceiling at the Maruetsu supermarket near my aparment is painted like the sky! XD

I slept pretty well on Sunday and I was encouraged because I took these over the counter sleeping pills. I took them again on Monday and Tuesday, but still woke up at 4 AM both times. 🙁 I guess they don’t help after all. They’re supposed to help you fall asleep, not stay asleep. Of course, since I had breakfast at 5, I was dragging all morning. Wednesday morning seemed to last a life-time, with six back to back lessons. I then met Yancey and we had a chat about work, but my brain wasn’t working anymore. -_- I kind of had ice cream and stuff after that…was really bad with my diet.

I’m hoping that because I’ve been lifting a lot last week and this week that some of that is turning into muscle…

I’m getting more and more stressed out about the nuclear power plants again. Apparently the government declared a maximum state of emergency…. the fuel rods had supposedly stopped increasing in heat, but now radioactive water that had been pumped in was escaping in the form of steam, and also pooling in the facility and escaping into the sea.

Some people I talked to are like, “OMG the pollution is spreading and there’s plutonium in the soil and the fish’ll eat it and omg.” Some other people say, “Yes, but in the sea the iodine has a short half-life so it’ll decay and become diluted. Also, the plutonium isn’t a problem for Tokyo folks, and even if the thing melts down, it’s more a local problem and wouldn’t effect Tokyo.

@_@ So…?

Students are still coming for lessons, although I miss my kids. We haven’t had kids lessons all month. 🙁

I get most of my news through twitter nowadays, which links me to various sites. So much stuff is about Libya, and I admit that I’m not paying attention AT ALL. I’ve stopped following a bunch of MMA accounts just because I have to scroll forever to find anything about Japan, and some of the people I follow just announce the same fights, so if you find that I’m suddenly not following you, forgive me. ^^;; I’m trimming my twitter follow list. I just don’t have time to read everything.

btw genki sudo has a twitter account 😀 And he can speak some English! @genki_sudo.
And he has a pretty sweet new music video!

The Student and the Teacher

Posted in story or poem on March 29th, 2011 by roxyfighter

The student pushed open the glass door and stepped into the school, leaving the warm sunshine from the bright outdoors. A cool draft of spring air stirred papers laying on a low table off to the side.

The student had been looking forward to this day all week. “I get to see my teacher today,” thought the student. “He knows everything. I will learn something great today.”

The student climbed the stairs, running up the last few steps. There, in the back corner of the room, the teacher was sweeping the floor.

“Good morning!” the student called cheerily, dropping a heavy bag near a shelf. The teacher smiled warmly. “Good morning to you.” The student’s grin widened as the teacher leaned the broom against the wall and came over to shake hands. His hand was big and warm.

“Are you ready for a lesson?” asked the teacher, seating himself down comfortably yet properly.
“Yes!” the student said enthusiastically. “I’m ready! Please teach me!” The student hadn’t done so well on the previous test; feelings of shame still lingered and became motivation for improvement.

The teacher looked the student in the eyes. The student looked back, but the prolonged silence caused the eager smile to fade slightly.
The teacher suddenly spoke. “What do you want to do today?”
The student started. “What…what do you mean?”
“What do you want to do?” the teacher repeated.
The student stared hard at the teacher, who’s face remained impassive and unchanging. Except for a slight upturn of the lips which could have been a smile. Then he raised his eye brows in imitation of the student’s puzzled reaction.

“I don’t understand,” the student said, laughing a little in bewilderment. “You’re the teacher. You tell me what to do.”

Was the teacher joking? Was this a test? The teacher had a cynical, mischievous streak, and an unfathomable sense of humor. His expressions and actions continually baffled his pupil, adding to his mysterious aura.

“No, you tell me,” the teacher said, his lips breaking slightly, obviously enjoying the student’s discomfort. Or maybe not.
“But,” the student said, “You’re my teacher. You tell me what I should do to improve. What do I do next?”
“I’m not your teacher,” the teacher said.
“What?!” the student exclaimed, all traces of levity vanishing. “What do you mean?”
The teacher remained silent, with only that unchanging, infuriating smile.
“Wait a minute, what do you mean you’re not my teacher?”
“Never mind,” sighed the teacher. “Don’t worry. Just do this practice.” The teacher indicated the usual practice material that the student brought every week.

The student looked down at it, disappointment obvious. It was just the usual thing. No new advice? No answers? Just the same exercise?
“Don’t worry, don’t worry. Just do it,” the teacher encouraged.
“Alright,” the student said, and got busy. After a few minutes of silent work with the teacher observing quietly, the student looked up. “I’m doing it, but it’s bothering me that you said you’re not my teacher. What are you then?”

The teacher just smiled.

“Why won’t you tell me what I need to do?”
“What do you want to do?” the teacher asked. “It’s your lesson.”
“But sometimes what I want to do and what I need to do are different, right?” the student said. “That’s why I want you to tell me…”

Then the student fell silent. Considering. “I guess I have a brain and I can think for myself,” the student contemplated. Then, the student realized that the teacher had put stress on the word “want.”
“What do I WANT to do?” the student repeated out loud. “I want to get better but…I don’t want to do this exercise right now,” the student suddenly decided. “I want to get better at this, but I’m tired of it and I want to practice this other thing,” indicating with one hand.

The teacher’s face remained the same, but his eyes seemed to twinkle. “Then let’s do that!” he said, pushing himself to his feet.

The student watched, his eyes glued to the teacher’s back as he turned and walked to the other side of the room.

“He wouldn’t hold my hand,” the student realized as the teacher prepared the next lesson. “He wouldn’t tell me the answer because the answer must come from inside me. If he orders me to do something, I might do it but internally reject it. Then I can’t absorb and internalize what he’s trying to teach me. The motivation comes from inside me. He just wanted me to find it and decide my path for myself. The teacher can’t make me learn it, but can only help me discover it. He is a very wise teacher,” the student thought gratefully. “I did learn something great today already.”

And then the student wondered if maybe the teacher had just woken up late and forgotten to prepare something ahead of time.

exhausting weekend but I kicked butt

Posted in earth quake and aftermath, every day, training, work on March 27th, 2011 by roxyfighter

Aaah. It feels so good to just sit here. Eating my massive veggie salad. Chatting with my fans and friends in my chatroom. Looking forward to my lesson with Kunioku at 11 AM today.

This weekend was hard. I worked overtime to cover for the teachers who left the country, and also to make up the wages that I missed when I couldn’t work due to the disaster of the earthquake and radiation threat. On Saturday I felt like hell mentally…physically tired because I keep waking up at 3 AM every morning, and really depressed because I kept reading the news to stay abreast of the situation up north, and I had to shift through MMA news and stories about attacks on Libya. All I was reading about is the clean-up effort, how many bodies they’re finding in the Tohoku area, stories of valor and sacrifice….

There are wars and tragedies all the time…but it’s totally different when it’s near your home. You can’t ignore it.

I went to the gym and lost it, and cried in the bathroom over everything for like ten minutes before I could go out onto the mat. Frankly, I was so distracted and distraught that I’m surprised I made it through class, but I was so determined. I’m really trying to drive myself harder these days. Go back to how I used to be. I can do anything. I won’t lose again.

But I finished class and it was great. I could barely get home, I was so sore and tired, but I did it! And I took the L-Glutamine that my friend and fan Dave mailed to me (among a box-load of other expensive-ish supplements!) ! I think that really helped me recover. I was really worried about my condition when I woke up the next morning, but I was able to function. 😀 Thank you.

I had a few high-pressure lessons. This one student reminded me of my father- a business executive fellow who has to make presentations and has really high expectations of teachers. Well, that’s why we’re there. I think he was pleased with my lesson. After it, though, I felt like I’d just taught five instead of two. lol

One more for the record books. x_x

I had a one-period break, and I totally fell asleep on the couch in the teacher’s room….
I worked until evening and then met a student friend after work. I’m glad we spoke in Japanese. I haven’t been writing many entries in mixi or reading them lately since I’m so exhausted and haven’t been sleeping.

I went straight to bed last night without checking my e-mail. (!!!!!) I took some more L-Glutamine. So let’s see how well I do in practice this morning! 😀

I may or may not go to evening practice… last night my brain felt like it was over-heating more than the reactors in Fukushima….

*eyes her chatroom* XD I love the folks in my chat room. <3 I really do...I've met so many awesome people in there. It was Miesha Tate's website that gave me the idea.

Work, chikuwa-people, autocorrects!

Posted in amusing, work on March 25th, 2011 by roxyfighter

My stomach has been bothering me all week, wtf -_-; Maybe the change back to my normal diet…but aaaarg.

I taught all day, some extra bonus lessons, but I got to go home early.
I was so exhausted all day long. Back to being tired every day.
This weekend is going to be long, since I’m working bonus to cover for some teachers who evacuated the country.

I bought this little toy in a junk machine- chikuwa boy! chikuwa girl, chikuwa dog! Little fish sausages that I enjoy so much…they’re often stuffed with something, like fish eggs or veggies or sausages. Yes, a fish cake stuffed with a fish sausage. So bizarre. But not more bizarre than making a LIVING CHARACTER out of them.

And…I bought one for two bucks. XD LOL Yeah that’s right. And I uploaded it to facebook and tagged Tara (Larosa) and Michelle Ould just for laughs. XD

note: the autocorrect for “Yaaaay” is “Tasaday.” The autocorrect for “woooot” is “Woolly.” XD lol and the autocorrect for “whahaha” is “shabaka.” XD Finally, the autocorrect for “genki” is “genii.” Good thing I double-check before I post/send stuff!

lots of training

Posted in training on March 24th, 2011 by roxyfighter

Yesterday morning, I went to the AACC in the morning and talked to Abe-san! It was so good to see him and chat with him after the earth quake….

Only me and Tezuka-san showed up, and he was a lot bigger than me. Abe-san showed us some cool grappling submission holds. We sparred a bit, and then he showed us some Ground-and-pounds techniques which I found super-useful, and it became my burn out/ cardio for the session.

After training, I gave some clothes to a used clothes shop, and then went home and took a nap. When I say nap, I mean fall fast asleep. I woke up an hour later wondering if it was the next day. Then, I watched some Naruto and went to the evening AACC training session! I had a great time, except Abe-san tried to get me to do this striking drill I didn’t want to do. I was trying to get this girl to attack me a certain way so I could practice what I wanted, and he was like “no no, do this.”

@_@ oh well.

Then we sparred grappling and ended at 9:30 (instead of like…10:30) because the Gold Gym closes early to conserve energy. I really like this…8-9:30 is a good training session. 8:00 to 10:45 is way too long to be expected to perform at a high level the whole freaking time. @_@; Well, that’s because I actually start at 8, and a lot of people roll in around 9.

Now, it’s Friday morning.
I am soooo sore. 😀 I Just chatted with my mom on Skype, and she gave me a bunch of nutritional advice and information about vitamins and stuff. Like, you how Iron blocks the absorbtion of vitamin E, and you also shouldn’t take calcium pills with iron pills. And also too much vitamin B6 is bad. You can get it naturally in meat, liver, soy, and whole wheat. She knows that kind of stuff. ^^

Now I’m going to work!