I just got back from Blackeye 5. Congratulations for a successful show. It was extremely well run, and they really took care of us fighters, trainers, and guests. It was a pleasure being part of Blackeye.
I fought Barb Honchak in the main event. She won by rear naked choke in the third round. Congratulations on an excellent performance, Barb. For me, it was my worst performance in my entire life. I felt huge lack of physical strength. I knew what I had to do, but I could not physically do it. I pushed, she pushed harder. Ironically, I realize that I’ve gone the way of the Japanese- lots of technique but not enough physical power. I like to label myself a technician, and spend most of my time trying to perfect my technique, rather than physical conditioning. However, my last four fights, I felt I lost by strength. (I felt like I had a draw with Akano, though).
I got owned on Saturday, and I am pissed off about it. I am pissed off at myself, and pissed off at many other things. I’m determined to fix this. I know I’m strong willed and stubborn. I WILL build myself into a warrior who’ll be able to rise to the top of her weight class. My fight last night was not even close to being UFC level. My dream is to fight in the UFC, and that was not an example of my real self. That is taking nothing away from Barb…she was VERY impressive last night. Two nights ago? (I haven’t slept in like 3 days)
I boo-hooed on my coaches’ shoulders for about 30 minutes, and then after our post-fight meal, I dragged them to my hotel room and came up with a plan.
I have to make adjustments in my training. I have to be even stricter with myself than before. And I have to be easy on myself, more than before. ^^
I SWEAR on my LIFE that I will rebuild myself and come back a stronger fighter. This is not the end. I ask that my fans continue to show support so promoters offer me another chance to show what I can do in the ring or cage!! It’s because you guys want to see me fight that I’m able to follow my dream!
I WILL DO THIS, DAMNIT! I WILL FIX THIS!!