disappointed

I erased my previous blog entry because I felt kind of pathetic.

Let’s just say I had a rough weekend. Except that I sparred Akano-san and I felt an increase in my strength against her. I’m really happy about that.

Today, I found the motivation to go to Ground Slam. I sparred…fewer times than I wanted. I was actually very disappointed in my own sparring performance. I did have one good round against BJ, though. I talked to Katsumura-san about going to a night class. I will next week. Maybe Saturday! Looking forward to that.

I fully intended to go to the AACC tonight- I was looking forward to it, and I purposely didn’t push it an extra round at Ground Slam for that purpose. But over the course of the afternoon, my neck has been hurting more and more, and now it hurts a frick’n lot. So it’d be pointless to go.

I did physical training on Sunday, so I’m really sore so I can’t do more training. I’m disappointed in my body….
I’m just disappointing myself left and right nowadays, in most areas other than work. *sigh*

Tomorrow is my test weight-cut. I had two ice creams today in preparation. I don’t want to lose any more weight, and I may since I’ll skip dinner tomorrow. I think I might have had sodium in my dinner because I’ve been drinking a lot and not peeing as much as I thought. Oh well, tomorrow will be bland city, and I’ll be stoping consumption after lunch. I’ll go to the gym after work, start the cut, and then finish it Wednesday morning. I got my sauna suit ready. I gotta prep some recovery drinks by tomorrow.

Damn I wanted to train this evening. I’m not putting in enough time at the gym lately. I’m disappointd. *falls over*

Anyway. I finally finally talked to Mom on Skype. She’d moved to a different apartment so I didn’t get to talk to her for like two weeks. WAY TOO LONG. I’ve been really lonely for my parents lately. ;_; Probably because I usually talk to Mom every other day, and suddenly NOTHING. She said, “”Whatever happens, don’t view it as good or bad but an opporunity to learn something. Make it a positive thing. It’s our reactions to things that determine the outcome.”