Roxanne Modafferi

The Happy Warrior

rough week, the fire to train, what might come after MMA…?

Posted in every day, training on November 29th, 2016 by roxyfighter

As a personal rule, I try to never talk about “What I’ll do after I retire from fighting.” I feel like if I start thinking about afterwards, I lose focus on the “now.” I have so much more in me that I can do. I’m still improving, my body is holding together, I’m getting stronger and more skilled, I found the best coaches in the world for me (and I can say that cuz I traveled the world)….

When people ask me, I give some vague response and kind of change the topic. Really, now, a life of a fighter can change suddenly and drastically with every fight. You win a fight, you get noticed by the right people, bam, you’re in the big show. Or you get a bonus and suddenly have a lot of money. Or you get noticed by a producer and get a movie deal. Or get a title shot. Etc. so really, who can make plans?

I just had to change my Christmas plans…I booked a two week vacation to see both my parents and extended family, reserved a rental car, etc. But I then heard about Invicta being January 13th, and if I get on the card, WHICH I REALLY WANT, I can’t take two weeks off. But I don’t have an official offer yet…but I have to plan just in case. so I spent money to rebook the tickets for a shorter visit, and had a fight with my mom about visiting and I won’t get to see her this time, etc etc. I want to fight ASAP! But I can’t use this against Invicta if they don’t let me because that’s just the life of a fighter. We don’t get to choose when we fight, but we have to be ready if the offer comes. I made the choice to be a fighter and live this life, so it’s “shouganai,” or “it can’t be helped,” in Japanese.

So that was stressful last week. Come to think of it, maybe having the conflict with my mom really brought me down. Then not knowing if I was doing the jiujitsu tournament but I still had to diet. And my nose got cracked so I couldn’t do kickboxing for like three and a half weeks. And Coach John wasn’t here all of last week. I pretty much did Captain’s classes, which were amazing and he’s so inspiring, lifted weights, and went home….. until I pulled my bicep muscles trying to go up the ropes too many times because Captain said to do ten times, and if he said so, I WANTED TO DO IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT.

And every time I look at my purple belt, I get upset.
I want to improve so badly and improve my level so badly before my freaking belt falls apart, but the middle is shredding and every day I’m trimming pieces of thread off it….am I going to have to get a new one? I would die of embarrassment…. I’d almost not wear a belt at all. Should I take a needle and thread and try and stop it from shredding? GRRRRRRRRR I CAN’T STAND IT!!!! I want to get better!! I know I’m getting better. Rick told me. Captain told me. But I need to go to tournaments and beat up all the purple belts in my division to prove it. I’ve been using lots of moves Captain had been teaching me. I’ve been going to his class literally every day. I would go to the evening gi classes, too, but I’m like…


Freaking 34 years old, I just don’t recover fast enough if I do class in the evening, and I’m still in pain from morning practice. I can go hard in the morning and light in the evening and recover enough for another hard morning. I think I’m doing pretty well fitting in cardio, class, weights, and then I gotta teach kids and sometimes I get a few rolls in with the other instructors or big kids. I want to train ALL THE TIME EVERY DAY.
haha when I first quit my job 3 years ago to focus on MMA 100%, I wondered and worried, “If I’m not being forced by a boss and job, will I actually be able to make myself go to the gym every day if ‘i don’t have to?” The answer is, yes, I can barely make myself rest when I’m sick or I need a day off. Days off are for when the gym is physically closed or I’m sick or injured.

Every day I’m not doing some training is time lost that I could be improving and surpassing my former self. Tom and John said that today in a little post-training speech, but I’ve always always felt that way.

For like the past 4 days until yesterday I didn’t feel like going to the gym and it weirded me the hell out. I ALWAYS want to train, even when I’m depressed or bummed or sick or hormonal or whatever. I was like, “Am I sick? Am I dying? Am I finally insane? WTF is wrong with me!” But I autopiloted to jiu-jitsu because jiujitsu is life. And I KNOW I learn at least one, usually 5, useful things every time I go to class. No lie. But yesterday I almost cried on the mat literally 10 times. I almost told Captain to stop watching me spar because I felt so crappy and was having a super bad performance in the sparring match and I didn’t want him to see. 🙁 Captain put his arm around me and told me to take it easy and don’t worry and just keep training. <3 I just kept repeating to myself, "I am a Jedi. I am a Jedi. No emotion." And it really really helped. A lot. Just don't feel. Feelings get in the way during training. There is no need for emotions in most circumstances. At least for me. If they are there, they must be controlled and siphoned carefully. I knew that nobody was in my division because it wasn't listed on the website. My students are competing and I'm SO EXCITED and happy for them! I can't wait to coach them. But yeah....I didn't get a confirmation that nobody registered last minute but I decided about the BJJ tournament... cartman-screw-you-guys
And nachos-and-weeping


serena-and-nachos-2broke my diet by dragging Serena to Fuzzy’s near the gym, forcibly stuffing nachos down her throat with me…. 😀

But before that, though, jet-lagged John walked into the gym and I basically glomped him. :
v, to glomp
it is the action of one person lovingly (and dramatically) attacking another with a hug. not sexual.
A glomp is often preadatory and lies somewhere in the grey area between a caring embrace, and a flying leap to tackle someone.

See, ya learn something new every day.

I woke up the day after (today) feeling more like myself, charged, and ready to train! I had a great jiujitsu class and kickboxing sparring!

It was a really rough week but I came out of it with a load of jiujitsu technique that I’ve learned, and a few other accomplishments. Man, I’ve been using my butterfly hooks and pieces of Xguard and sweeps like crazy!

I couldn’t decide what to write here on my blog for the longest time, and I actually got off track. I started talking about it. What I want to do after I stop fighting. I never think about it on purpose, but you know how on facebook there are adds specific to you because of cookies? One said, “Become a teacher certified to teach in Nevada! click here!” and I clicked…..

and I realized that other than jiujitsu and MMA, the thing that makes my heart sing the most is teaching kids. Now I’m not so fond of HUGE classes with little 4 year olds running around not listening to me when I’m trying to teach BJJ, but I believe children are our innocent angels not corrupted by society (yet) and we need to raise the next generation to run the world well! I go out of my mind when I feel there’s a bad influence on a kid and I’m insanely grateful and thrilled I get to run the little kids program now. Seriously, I feel like teaching kids to be good people, and inspiring them to do GOOD things and grow is the best thing a person can do other than like a doctor saving lives.

WHY DO I KEEP PICKING JOBS THAT WILL NOT MAKE ME RICH?! But I don’t want to be rich just to have money…. I want to buy plane tickets to visit my family on the east coast, and visit Japan. That’s really all I want….lots of plane tickets. I especially miss my dad because we can’t talk so much since he’s so busy and not really a phone-talker. But now I’m really missing my mom because we don’t talk as much as we used to. I’m so fortunate we got to spend so much time together living together in Nevada for a few years! Thanks, Mom…. you’ve always given me the world. I don’t need a big house or expensive car and Walmart has perfectly good clothes. Goodwill is like recycling and saving the planet, so yay. I just want money for plane tickets. lol And restaurants….

So yeah. I’ll probably join the horrible Nevada public school system after I fight and make crap money and be one of the happiest, most full-fullfilled people ever. LOL Hopefully I make it bigger by the time I’m done! And I don’t see an end in site yet…. so people can STOP ASKING ME. THERE. YOU HAVE YOUR ANSWER.

But if anyone has other ideas that will earn me more money, I am all ears. But not now. I am still training my butt off as hard as I can. I have no time to waste! And I really really hope I fight soon! No time to waste!!

politics, training, raffle, ReBoot

Posted in every day, friends on November 15th, 2016 by roxyfighter

So I’ve avoided posting anything about politics during this election time because people feel so strongly. I also feel strongly. But some of my FRIENDS have posted on Facebook that they’ll unfriend people who vote for a certain candidate they hate. Really? You’re going to let our personal relationship be torn apart by your opinion of a political candidate?
I will say right now that I dislike both Hilary and Trump as candidates. I think I would have been unhappy if either of them had won. I will say that I’m glad America is not a dictatorship. For laws and policies to pass, there has to be some kind of consensus. Checks and balances are in place. Now that Trump is elected, I’m feeling positive about there possibly being economic improvement for our country. I’m feeling worried about various social issues that may arise. I am worried about how untactful and politically incorrectly he speaks, and am glad when he backsteps from certain impossibly things like building a wall. I use Obamacare because I don’t make much money. I pay $60 a month for Health insurance now so I’m not looking forward to him repealing that and I may have to pay $250/ month for insurance, and that’s the best deal. That’s my entire bi weekly paycheck for my part-time job.

Anyway, enough about that. I’m still happily pursuing my dreams of fighting and hope to make more mulah in the future. Near future, preferably. Because money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy nachos and tostadas, and that equals happiness. And it buys me plane tickets to visit my family because I miss themmmmmmmmmmm. ;_;


I love America and even though Americans are not perfect and our government is not perfect, we’ll survive.
My mom voted the opposite I did, and I couldn’t believe it! We had been hating on the same person for months when we lived together and then all of a sudden she flip-flopped? So election day I called her and I asked her reasons. She told me and they were logical. I respected the fact that she put more importance on certain things than others. I didn’t try to change her mind and she didn’t try and change my mind. There were no arguments. Only calm, fact-providing questions and answers. It was a great conversation.

/end political entry

Training has been great and I’ve accomplished a lot, except I keep getting injured. Most recently my nose got smashed in a hard sparring session and it’s swollen and hurting, so I can’t really kickbox or take strikes to the face at all for a while now. I’m trying really hard not to be mad about it. My ring finger got bent backwards from blocking a kick and now I can’t bend it all the way because it’s swelling. I’m able to do jiujitsu somewhat by buddy-taping it.

I’ve told myself “I am calm like a Jedi” at least 50 times this week so far. Capitao reminds me, too. lol It’s so cool and rare when someone “gets” how I think.
I did an X-guard sweep to get up from bottom the other day, and a butterfly sweep in MMA without even trying. Obviously, I’m not gonna be one of those jiujitsu fighters who purposely tries to be on the bottom. Those days are over. I’m gonna use my jiujitsu to get up or submit. It’s so cool having a jiujitsu instructor who’s an MMA fighter, and John’s jiujitsu is also excellent and he gets how MMA works. Man, Syndicate MMA really does have the best MMA training in the world.

I find myself able to do the striking techniques I’ve learned lately, and my gi jiujitsu is getting better. I’ve been true to my vow of lifting, doing jiu-jitsu, and MMA classes. I’m writing down my lifting results every session and finding that some of my numbers are going up. *shrug* Who knows how much they’ll translate into my MMA game, but this is where I have faith in my coach.

Some fans sent me a gift card for gas. Thank you so much! It’s so helpful! See you again when you come to Vegas, J & J!
No more socks, guys. I have 203 pairs!

I’ve been obsessed with ReBoot and realized that I never saw seasons 3 or 4 because they weren’t aired on my TV station I had! So I watched it online and WOW, that series went from rated G to PG-13 REAL fast. Chopping people’s heads off, torturing them, dropping buildings on people? I did dig all the cultural references and spoofs of various other TV shows and movies and quotes they added.

I found that a Mexican restaurant that opened near Syndicate called “Fuzzy’s” is AMAZING and has great tacos and nachos. Jessy introduced me to it. I’ve gone for nachos twice with Serena. I really like being housemates with Serena. We have our own space but at the same time, can hang out, and I don’t have to drive 15 minutes to go pick her up if we need to go somewhere together.
Sunday we had nachos (for recovery purposes after hard training) and then saw Dr. Strange at the Orleans. Fun!

I’ve been enjoying teaching my jiu-jitsu classes a lot. I’m a permanent teacher for the big kids class now. And my little kids class just got like four new students in the past three days!

My teammate and friend Jessy Jess fights in Invicta this week! (her name on the card is “Jessica-Rose Clark.” ) Please root for her!! She’s the one with the purple hair.
She’s gonna totally kick butt.

I’m doing this BJJ tournament Dec 3rd!!

Lastly, I’m doing a raffle of these nice Dragon Do gloves to help with my training costs!
I love having Dragon Do as my sponsor!

mega busy week! Halloween and training!

Posted in amusing, family and holidays, friends, moving, training on November 2nd, 2016 by roxyfighter

I’ve been trying out new strength and conditioning as I had mentioned, and well, I can’t tell if my power level has gone up, but I have increased my pull ups and chin up count. 🙂 My shoulders are hurting less. That’s pretty cool. I’m told that’s because I’m strengthening the muscles around my rotater cuffs, which give me problems.

I’ve been managing double classes, BJJ and MMA, but kind of peetering out at the end of the MMA sessions. One of my teammates asked me if I was tired. Well, yes but if I’m tired, I will still train and push it. I felt like I was going to pass the hell out because I was dizzy and lightheaded. It’s embarrassing to have to stop before training is over and I won’t do it unless I can’t stand anymore and have nothing left.

So yeah, last weekend I moved apartments from my two-bedroom I shared with Hannah, to a three-bedroom I’m going to share with Serena and Jessy Jess. So far so good. But my mom gave me back all my childhood stuff she had been keeping for me, so aside from a few boxes I have at my dad’s, I have everything I own here so I have boxes of stuff. I’m pretty good about NOT keeping stuff unless it’s useful or has extreme sentimental value… I’ve gotten rid of a bunch of T-shirts I like but never wear because the fit isn’t quite perfect. 🙁

I think I’ll even have to ask fans to stop sending me socks and other collectables….the gesture warms my heart but I’m really trying to collect less stuff because it’s really hard for me to move it. I think I’m going to do another “guess how many socks I own” contest. 😀

Anyway, BIG THANKS to Serena who took a day off from training with me and helped me move all my stuff! She went with me to return the Penske van (which wasn’t the size I wanted!!! they messed up my reservation just like Uhaul! curses!)

Thanks to Kyle and Cory for moving my heavy sofa and shelf. I couldn’t have done it without you guys! THANK YOU! Here’s us sitting on my sofa in the back of the Penske moving van which wasn’t the size I wanted.

Oh top of that, I trained all morning on Saturday (BJJ and kickboxing) which was awesome but exhausting.

Costume sparring!
Goku vs Unicorn Ballerina (Jessica)


Goku vs Scorpion from Mortal Kombat! (Serena)

I prepared for the Halloween party and had a taco party at my apartment, which was pretty cool. I prepared for 25 people but not that many came, which I guess is the way a party goes. Honestly, this was my first time hosting a big party and I think it was a success!
I learned a lot! I’m glad I got balloons….kind of thinking “I’ll throw these into the mix because you never know what random object will become a fun prop.” It was great. We ALL played and batted the balloons….we, as in the adults, more than the kids. The kids just hacked at and destroyed my floating birthday balloons with fake swords. o_O lol

We also played Twister.
I kind of forced everyone to play but I most ended up enjoying it. I HAD SO MUCH FUN. I haven’t played in ages!!

I actually was going to dress up, but I didn’t want to wear a skimpy one…. and I couldn’t find half of my Rey costume (from Star Wars) and I could see my underwear through my red Power Rangers one, so I said, ah, screw it.

A bunch of people left, including the kids, and then a few more people came over and we had ROUND 2 of my party! More twister, Japanese pose game, balloon vollyball …lol
Some of my teammates tried to get me to go to a nightclub with them after this, but I was like, dude, the second you guys leave, I’m throwing the taco stuff in the fridge and flying through the air into my bed like there’s bed-magnet stuck to my butt…. SO exhausted. lol

Then Sunday I woke up and from 7 AM I was cleaning and then moving odds and ends that didn’t fit in big boxes into the new place (thank goodness the Office let us have a few days to move) with ‘break’ for Yoga, during which I just wanted to pass out.

Then Monday, which is usually my favorite training day because I’m feeling the most rested and healthy. I had a good mitt session with John, and then did most of the MMA class, but was just so exhausted I literally had to lay down or fall down. 🙁 Still taught my two kids classes in the evening.

Tuesday I did BJJ as hard as I could. The Reen (Serena) joined me and we had great training, and another purple belt was there, and Jordan in a gi, so I got really challenging rolls. Then wanted to die…….so I skipped pro kickboxing and lifted heavy weights. I had felt bad for not doing it on Monday. Lifted heavy upperbody and then did squats and burpies and box jump sets.

I got to lay down for a full two hours in the middle of the day yesterday! And I think a nap happened somewhere in there, so YAY REST!

oh yeah, on Tuesday I had costume day for my kids class!

And finally, here’s a pic of my old room, empty and lonely except for a yummy, steaming hot mug of Herbal Papaya tea.

Have you tried it? Or heard of it? The Herbal Papaya website has lots of products, which have enzymes good for direction, and it also aids the immune system. I never get sick when I’m taking their stuff. I’m also taking the capsules. Haha actually a year ago I had run out and figured, meh, whatever. But then got sick, so I quickly contacted them and got them to send me more. I’m not even exaggerating…..