Roxanne Modafferi

The Happy Warrior

Kizuna – bonds, and my week after TUF

Posted in every day, friends, Ultimate Fighter/UFC on August 25th, 2017 by roxyfighter

“Kizuna” is a Japanese word that means “ties, bonds,” in the emotional and spiritual sense.

I love this word. I was considering getting it tattooed on my leg, except Japanese people don’t like tattoos and think kanji character tattoos are stupid, thus negating the gesture for me because I want to show my connection with Japan. lol

We all have kizuna, bonds, with other people. It’s a beautiful thing. Think for a second about how special that is. We pass people by every day in our lives, but some people we meet, talk to, do business with, work with, make friends with, and form relationships with.

I’m so grateful for people who come into my life. Think about a friend. How did you meet him or her? I met my best friends from high school in line for lunch. I met my roommate/training partner Serena on Facebook when she messaged me as a fan wanting to train. I met Coach John when I visited Syndicate as a mere polite gesture to Amanda, intending to join another gym, and then fell in love with the gym and his classes.

When I was on The Ultimate Fighter, I made connections with people I lived with, people I trained with, and even the staff, who are never seen behind the scenes.

Bonds you make are there forever. They might change depending on the relationship, but we will stay connected, even if the person is not in your life anymore, whether they be living in a different location, or even passed away. I think that humans have experiences and should think about them. That’s why we can learn and better ourselves from both positive and negative things. Whether an experience is positive or negative is often about perception and beliefs. Emotions and how we feel are very fickle and subjective. (I wrote a book on this about positivity…see my website store here link) We are like a painting on a huge canvas. Once you paint a stroke, you can’t erase it, but you can cover it up or blend it with another color to make an even different color.

I guess I’m feeling pensive this morning. I woke up in my own bed, new computer, so happy to be able to train at Syndicate again and drive my own car again, but also missing my new friends and TUF coaches like crazy. But we’ll always have that special “kizuna” that we made on the show. The MMA world is a small place and I’m sure I’ll see them ALL again.

I can’t wait for the premier episode of TUF 26 this coming Wednesday. Watch, on Fox Sports 1!
So many inside jokes I can’t say or post! So many things only TUF participants would understand.

Dang, it’s Friday already?!? So I got out of The House last Friday night and Dana White took us out to dinner at this amazing delicious Italian restaurant! It made me miss my father a lot because he used to take me out a lot to those in Boston.
I got pictures with both coaches, Justin and Eddie. Both are great men!

My friend Serena welcomed me home with open arms. We ended up staying up later than I had anticipated because I was charged up on food and wanted to unpack. Saturday I woke up exhausted and Serena went to corner our BJJ kid students at NAGA. Thank you! I feel like that was my responsibility but I was so tired.

Actually, when I tried to start my car, I found that my battery had died and spewed acid all over the place, so not only did I have to get a new battery, but had to replace a supporting bolt and some wires.

$250. ;_; Could have been worse. When I was in the House, I overheard my housemate Emily tell someone, “I got my friend to start my car so the battery doesn’t die while I’m away.” I thought, “Uhhh….. uh oh…” but I didn’t know it would spit acid like that. Lee must have missed me terribly, poor boy. I’ll love you until the day you die and don’t start anymore!

Sunday after yoga class we did lots of best-friend things – I made her cheat on her diet.

Chinese food dim sum for lunch, followed by a movie (The Hitman’s Bodyguard), and then she helped me shop for a laptop. I chose an Asus and I think it’s working out. 🙂
Monday morning I did a private BJJ lesson with Casey and lifted weights. I need to get stronger!! I taught kids in the afternoon! 😀 It was SO great to see them again and teach class! Still a big class…. they didn’t all disappear while I was gone!
Well… I love all my kids.
I’m discovering what it means to be a coach. It has it’s own ecstatic moments and heartbreaks.


It was my BJJ teacher Captain’s birthday on Monday. Happy birthday! He decided to get his wisdom teeth pulled that day. Hope you feel better. Wednesday I had to get an MRI as part of a Cleveland Clinic brain study test, which was a pain in the neck, but they gave me $50 and I got proof that I don’t have brain damage from fighting. 🙂

I also bought that ASUS Q504 laptop I had been thinking about. I’m using it now. I like it!! It was $845 and I got it on sale for $699. 😀

Yesterday, Thursday, I had made a DMV appointment but didn’t realize I had to bring my passport. GRRR so I had to reschedule.
I went to Macy’s and bought a black bag with gift cards some fans sent me (Thank you, Jack and Jan!) and it was also on sale, so I didn’t have to chip in much. 😀 This should replace the black bag leather bag my aunt gave me like ten years ago. I don’t buy expensive things so I had to ask Facebook where to go to buy something like that. hah.

I also paid my car insurance. I also booked my trip to Japan in the end of September! Taking care of business! I’m so excited for everything.
Yesterday I did BJJ and lifted weights. I gotta get stronger! Better! Stronger and better every day!

btw Here’s a shout-out to one of my main sponsors Remove it Restoration. Thanks for everything!


They’re a repair/graffiti removal/glass repair company in southern California. Check them out: removeitrestoration.com

I’m back from TUF 26

Posted in Ultimate Fighter/UFC on August 22nd, 2017 by roxyfighter

I’m back from The Ultimate Fighter Season 26!

It was an experience very similar and yet very different from my past experience on TUF 18.

I met a lot of good people who I will never forget, had some experiences I wouldn’t mind forgetting, but many unique and memorable ones that even my bad memory won’t let slip away. lol I learned MMA techniques, struggled, laughed, cried, deprived myself of TACOS for an unholy amount of time, folded a ton of origami, ate new things, found new foods, wore lots of Reebok, drew designs on my clothes, and found companionship in like-minded souls. I missed my Syndicate coaches but found support in my enthusiastic and caring new coaches. I steeled myself to be alone in the House, but realized time and time again that I wasn’t really alone.

It was like a crazy time-zone in there, kind of like the world of Narnia. I couldn’t sense the passage of time. I had no idea what day of the week it was. The day felt like it dragged on, but when I lay down to go to bed at the end of the day, I thought, ‘Where did the day go? That was quick.” My theory that it WAS Narnia. Look at the backyard! There’s a stone table and lamp post and everything.

I can’t give any more details, but the primer of the show is almost upon us! It’s every Wednesday starting August 30th on Fox Sports 1 at 7 PM PST/10 PST.

I’m allowed to share pics of the House that I took when I got my cell phone back as I was packing to leave.

Narnia, and the hammock we requested.

I was able to take a walk every morning. I haven’t lived in so much vegetation since I went to highschool in Lenox Massachusetts! I even got to pick cicada shells off the trees like I did when I was a kid! 😀

I used the hot-tub a lot.
I’m grateful for the amazing, beautiful house they provided for us.