Find a way to win! (training, fighting, thinking)

The plan was to do the 11:30-1 MMA class, then training with John from 4:00 to 4:30, and then the BJJ class in the evening.

That didn’t happen, because I was weirdly hyper in the morning, and I couldn’t stand sitting home. So I did BJJ this morning, and then went straight to MMA training. Double classes aren’t good for me….

I am apprehensive about Gi classes because the last time I did BJJ with a gi was when I visited Drysdale’s last month, and before that, like twice at Groundslam, and then before that, 8 years ago…. So I’ve forgotten the grips and how to play the Gi game. I’m embarrassed to call myself a purple belt.

So I’m constantly fighting myself mentally, trying to chill the hell out because I have such high expectations of myself that I can’t meet.  But if I just don’t go, that’s just avoiding the issue, and I can’t do that. Plus I love BJJ. 🙂 It’s my favorite martial art!

I did warm-up drills I worked with this white belt guy, who was saying he was tired, so I was being all encouraging, like “just five more!” etc. He kind of looked at me like “gimmie a break.” Then I noticed he had cauliflower ears. So I asked him if he did wrestling. He said, “Well, I fight. I fought in the UFC.” I was like, “Oh damn!” oops ! I should shut up.

Then I found out he was JOSH HAYNES from the Ultimate Fighter Season 3. OOPS. He came in to class wearing a white belt. I didn’t even recognize him! Fail my life…. X_x;;;

I kind of struggled understanding initial instructions of the instructor because of my need for explicit pin-point detail, so Josh ended up teaching me all the techniques. Lol THANK YOU. He’s so cool.

(click to enlarge)
josh haynes and roxy

Man, I got so frustrated in class. Lots of people criticize me for ‘thinking too much’ or ‘overthinking.’ Geez, I’m not ‘overthinking’ already! I just need to know every detail about how something works before I can do it. I know so many different variations and possible ways of moving, that I don’t know which one and which way.

Apparently it’s too much to ask. 🙁 BUT I’m grateful that many of my coaches and training partners are willing to take the time to explain to me. =_= This one guy swept me like 5 times with the same move, and then showed me what I was doing wrong. So now I won’t get swept. THANK YOU! I love my teammates. I love Syndicate.

I jumped into the MMA class, which had already started, and did some kick-@$$ technique! I always get bummed out if I don’t get stuff immediately.

Again, fighting myself mentally. And my ABC was hurting like a @#$*# so I was having trouble doing the move. It not serious and goes away soon enough, but DAMNIT. ~_~ What a frustrating class. But I’ve been looking forward to training for two weeks since my freaking eye got cut. I wore a water proof bandaid and I think it’s okay. 😀 Except the adhesive is so powerful, and I changed it three times during the day, so it is ripping the skin off, so now my face is burnningggggggggg. HAHAHA HILARIOUS, RIGHT??!

And also! This is important. I used to baby my injuries a lot in training, and not really go so hard because I was afraid of making it worse. But in one of my fights were I was injured going in, I don’t feel I performed to my best because I was still babying it. I told myself, “Just use it!” But I couldn’t ‘just use it.’ So I knew I had to get out of the habit of babying my stuff in training. Either use it all the way and suck it up, or do something else, but don’t go half @$$-ed. They say “you fight like you train.”

And in a fight, you have to find a way to win. People break stuff in fights, and there’s no “hang on a second!” People feel sick. But you have to find someway to use your body and your skills and what energy you have to win anyway. Like a take-down. If I throw myself into it not carrying about anything, I’ll get it. If I go in worrying I’m gonna twist my neck, I don’t get the take down and I MIGHT just twist my neck.

You have to get into that mindset to FIND A WAY TO WIN with how you are at that moment. Man, the Korean Zombie? Remember how he dislocated his arm in the fight and freaking tried to pop it back in right there? That. Because on paper, nobody cares how injured you were going into a fight. It’s a big fat LOSS there.

And Dana White’s inspirational speech to us at the TUF elimination fights, I’ll never forget. “Sometimes you wake up and you don’t feel on. You might feel sick. Whatever it is…leave everything you’ve got in there. Because you don’t want to be that guy on the bus on the way home.”

That was my mantra during the second class. “Find a way to win.”
The last thing I wanted to do was sit in a freezing cold icy bathtub.

So I ate some ice cream to comfort myself, threw three bags of freaking ice in there, put on “Fuel” by Metallica, and jumped in. Freaking hell, ice baths suck! The only thing worse is how I feel if I DON’T do it. Ice baths help with reducing soreness and inflammation. And Miesha Tate ordered me to do them. :< After Fuel ended, I counted 30 seconds (cuz the song is 4:30 seconds long) and got out. I said, “F you body” and went and did training with John Wood. And it was AWESOMENESS. Man, I always feel like I improve every time! So exciting!! 😀 Thank you! Sparring tomorrow. I’m gonna try to use Force Healing Powers on my ABC body part. I know it’ll stop hurting soon, but I want SOONER. I got work to do tomorrow. Whenever I fight next, I’m gonna find a way to win because I DGAF. 🙂 As Britany Spears says, “You better work b*tch!” 🙂 Today was REALLY hard, but a good day all in all. I'm gonna get stronger!! This was long. Did you really read everything? lol And now for your listening pleasure, the song that I’ve been listening to in the car to pump me up before training. (and my ice bath) Nightwish’s “Planet Hell” The intro is long, but keep watching! “Save yourself a penny for the ferryman Save yourself and let them suffer”