Roxanne Modafferi

The Happy Warrior

The fight continues after the fight….

Posted in fight, friends, training on December 19th, 2017 by roxyfighter

After the fight, Dana White came over and said something to me. It was very nice, like “Great fight” etc. I thought, “Man, I wish I could record this somehow cuz I ain’t gonna remember it in five minutes.”

I was right. ;_; My brain was still in that hazy fight-zone. Once the bell rang, I knew she was going to get the decision. I didn’t get “beaten up,” and I think I landed more strikes on the feet, but I know she got some good positions on the ground, so she was going to get it. She did.

You lost. You didn’t get the title belt! You could have beaten Nicco!
I used every ounce of effort in my body to win that fight. I fought hard. Be proud.

We gave our speeches and I left the octagon. I still didn’t know where to go. People were milling around. My nose hurt. I wanted ice.

“Where am I going? Somebody lead me!” Somebody lead me towards the back. On the way out, fans leaned over the guard rail and wanted to slap my hand and take pics. I always feel bad ignoring one side to go on the other side. I slapped a few people’s hands, and then I saw my friends, so I rushed over there. I hugged them….

You’re the loser tonight. Killers are going to flood the division soon.
It was a great fight. I should be proud.

I went to my favorite restaurant with my friends. It felt great to be in a comfortable place with people I loved. I started reading my social media and saw how everybody was talking about what a great fight it was. Then somebody told me that I should have tried more takedowns, that I didn’t even try but if I tried I could have won, and analyzed the fight. That made me feel really crappy. It was too soon to analyze. That’s supposed to happen in a few days.

I’ve been here before.

Here. Mental and emotional Hell. It’s where many fighters go after a loss. It’s dark, sad, and cold.

But before long, a staircase forms. When I go back to training and change myself, I get better, so I can leave the past me behind and climb the staircase out.

The more I improve, the higher I climb. And my friends and coaches are there to give me a hand up onto the first step.

The first week after my fight, my nose was swollen but not broken, and my eye was half swollen shut.
People you meet ask you if you won and you had to tell them no.
But she looked just as bad. And it was fight of the night.

I was hoping to go back to teaching kids on Wednesday but I got a skin infection from the UFC cage mat! -_- Well ppl are walking in there with shoes on and all so I’m not surprised. At least the UFC paid my doctor’s bill. The bursa sack on my left elbow was swollen, probably from me hitting her head with it.

Too bad you didn’t win.
At least I’m not on crutches.

IT HURTS SO MUCH.

But it’s not a serious injury. Every time I bent it, it stung like crazy, or if I breathed on it or leaned on it. And my left thigh/knee hurt from twisting it before the fight, and then she kicked it a bunch of times, so it was throbbing for a week after the fight. I’m grateful those are the the worst things. I think Nicco’s foot is broken. :/ I have friends who have had their skull orbital bone broken or cracked or something.

Her foot might be broken, but at least she’s the champion. You should have been the champion. You’ve been training for longer. You’re better.
She is very skilled and trained hard, too. She’s a great person and a good champion.

So yeah. I really didn’t rest a whole lot. I mean, I didn’t train, but I went everywhere. I had so many chores to take care of, and I did a ton of things I’ve been putting off. I got my car maintenanced, hair cut, did a few interviews like the MMA Hour, and had a few meetings with my coaches.

I went about my day doing chores.
Why couldn’t you take her down?
Because….. I didn’t see the chance and I didn’t want to dive in after it.
You didn’t even try.
Yes, I did…on the cage she was stronger, and everybody else got tired trying, so I decided strategically not to force it.
No, you didn’t….you didn’t try hard enough!!
I took her down twice, dude! Did anybody else ever take her down? Just shut up.

People in Walmart and the grocery store were coming up to me saying that it was a good fight and they all wanted me to win. It made me so happy that they made the effort to call out to me and tell me this! Some people came RUNNING over.


People on social media sent so many nice messages saying how inspirational I was.

Yeah, inspirational in your FAILURE!!
I accomplished my goals of 1) showing the world, Dana White, my coaches that I’ve improved. Everyone has said it. 2) I also have a UFC contract. 3) I inspire people and show what a martial artist should be like.

I argued with the voices in my head all day long for seven days. When I was a child and said something negative, my mother always always said something positive afterwards. “Well at least…” or “Look on the bright side…” or “But this thing is good!” So when I became an adult, I realized how valuable that was, and trained myself to notice if I said a negative thing, and make sure I always counter that with something positive.

It’s almost like Dark-side Light-side.

I am a Jedi and will never fall to the Dark Side.
(Yes, I saw the new movie. I loved the action scenes, the acting, the special effects, but I hated the plot.)

So I was happy with my coaches meeting. My schedule is already pretty loaded up so it’s hard for me to tweak it, but we decided I’m going to stuff another strength and conditioning session in my week. I’m also going to add one more day of private lessons with John. I’m feeling good about that plan. That plan is the staircase. I just want one built so I can start climbing it and get away from the current me.

Jiu-jitsu is an issue, though, because one of the men I chose as my teacher, Captain, no longer teaches at Syndicate, and the other man, Casey, just had ACL surgery. I mean we have other teachers at Syndicate, but you know….they’re THE ONES. It’s hard to explain. That’s still an unresolved challenge, but thankfully, does not relate to my two main goals.

You are starting to suck at gi jiujitsu!
But I love it, so I’ll just train it and then not suck. I already proved that.
You’re going to be so embarrassed training with other higher level belts!
I’m not afraid.

Last week, Syndicate hosted Rowdy Rollers, an all-female BJJ open mat that happens once every three months or so. IT WAS SO GREAT. My nose and elbow hurt a lot, but I enjoyed rolling with people. My biggest accomplishment was not getting tapped out by Tammi. lol


Great turnout!
Last week was the second week after my fight and I trained lightly. I did mitts with John and he fixed one of my steps so my strikes suddenly got more power. THAT WAS CRAZY. That one little adjustment helped my balance SO much, and the power of my hook. It was like…..WHAT?!? How is this possible!?!

A few people have told me to go to a boxing or Muay Thai gym. Um, guys, I don’t think that’s the problem.

I landed SO much. But now, if I fix my step that John is teaching me, I’ll have knockout power. You guys are gonna be so surprised.


John is my Jedi master and I will never ever leave him and Syndicate, nor do I have a desire to train striking with anyone else. So ya’ll can save your breath. 😛

My dad told me that problem solving is taking one big problem and breaking it down into steps. Go about climbing the steps one by one until you reach your goal.

So I’m enjoying teaching my kids classes again. The sad voice has quieted now that I’m training again and I feel faster already! Oh and a new girl joined our MMA team- Chelsea Rae! She’s nice, excellent work-ethic, and we’re making friends. 😀

I got to talk to my Uncle Steve for the first time in a while on the phone (we’re both so busy) and he said something I wrote down in my quote book: “Success never lasts but how you feel and live every day lasts. You are the winner or the loser of the moment. Winning is transient but it’s not what life is like.”

I’ve gotten some gifts from fans in the mail sent to my gym. Thank you for the love! I’m enjoying my restaurant gift cards very much – El Pollo Loco!! 😀 And Fuzzy’s! YAY MEXICAN FOOD!

It’s really nice to be able to eat without worrying about making weight for a while.

I went to Texas de Brazil with Casey and Ashley, the expensive Brazilian BBQ place I never go to because it’s expensive. Yay a nice treat! One time after a fight I allow myself to go.

So today is Tuesday. I had a great mitt session with John yesterday, and great MMA class. My elbow doesn’t hurt quite so much, and my nose, only slightly. I’m feeling more and more positive. I’m already different from the me who fought Nicco! Smile and carry on!!

HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooo!

shoutout to my blog sponsor My Consumer IT. Support specialist offering 24/7 remote computer support, online marketing- SEO, Adwords and offsite SEO. www.myconsumerit.com

My TUF 26 Fight Week blog – Roxy vs Nicco for the title

Posted in Ultimate Fighter/UFC on December 7th, 2017 by roxyfighter

I got a link online to watch the last TUF episode, so I watched it on Monday. It’s always interesting to watch my own fights because I forget half of what happened and how it happened. My fight against Sijara was great, but since I lost, it made me feel really down. I knew I had to snap out of it since I would be fighting Barb that Friday. I tried. I’d been dieting, salt cutting, and water loading. My weight cut was going according to schedule. I got my final massage therapy from Teri and I felt great. In fact, I’ve never felt so great! I was also in great shape. I did my final set of running stairs. I reviewed the game plan with Coach John on mitts lightly. My mind was ready. My emotions were ready.

Wednesday evening, I taught my 4 o’clock kids class, and then started my weight cut by putting on a sauna suit, sweat clothes, doing cardio like jump rope and the bike, and hitting mitts with John. I had stopped eating and drinking at 3 PM that afternoon. It was hard to keep a sweat going in the cool wintertime, so I ended up doing a bath for like 15 minutes at home and losing a pound.

TUF was on that night, so I monitored my social media for people’s replies and actions. People were supportive and kind to me, about my fight, and about the fact that I wouldn’t have the title shot. Finally it was released that I’d fight Barb. Yay.

I planned to get up at 4:30 so Serena and I could go to my teammate Casey’s house. My apartment ran out of hot water quickly, so I needed a house’s bathtub to cut. The hotel rooms that were provided had showers only. WTF That was a big source of stress for me, trying to figure out where I’d cut weight. Eric and Andrew were staying at John’s so I thought there wouldn’t be a tub for me to cut in. Serena’s parent’s house’s water heater JUST broke, so they were out.

I went to bed.

2:30 AM my phone rang. I’d been leaving my phone on because my schedule was erratic and I was scared of missing a USADA drug testing surprise visit. I jolted awake and grabbed my phone. It was an unknown number.

USADA?!?!?!?!?!

Roxy: “…. hello…?
man: Yes, hi this is Mick, the match maker at the UFC.”
Roxy: “…….oh….hi…”
Mick: “Sorry to call at this time (something like this, I was half asleep) but ….. Sijara most likely won’t make weight. Would you like to step in and fight for the title?”
Roxy: “uh…………….. YES!!!!!! Yes!”
Mick: “So you’d have to make 125 on the dot.”
Roxy: “Yes! No problem! I mean, I know I just fought Sijara on the show but I’ll fight her again.”
Mick: “….You’d be fighting Nicco.”
Roxy: “…omg I am half asleep…. of course, Nicco. Great.”
Mick: “Haha don’t worry, I am, too. We still have to get a hold of Dana. We’ll let you know when it’s confirmed.”
Roxy: “Okay! Bye!” *squints at the clock* Omg it’s 2:30.

I was shaking from the adrenaline of being jolted awake. Then I thought, man, there’s no way she’s going to miss weight. This happens every time she fights. She’s gonna cut her hair or something and be fine. Dang it. Oh well.

It took me an hour to go back to sleep, but I got another hour in before I had to wake up to go to Casey’s.

I only did two salt baths instead of my normal four, thanks to cutting out salt earlier in the week!
Thanks Serena and Casey! Captain came to support me but I was already done. Thanks anyway!

124.5 pounds! I texted Mick the photo of my scale reading that weight, and he confirmed that Sijara was out and I was in. “Are you sure? She’s so determined to do it…” I said. “No, she’s in the hospital with kidney failure,” he wrote.

Dang, that’s horrible!! Worrisome! I hoped she was okay, but omg I was fighting for the title!??
It started to sink in. We drove to the Monte Carlo and hung out until weigh ins.

We did the official weigh-ins.

I’m not allowed to wear anything crazy for weigh-ins like I usually do, so I did a pose: the Vulcan Salute. 🙂

Then I found out I was getting a pay raise…. !!!

In reality, I’ve been fighting for 14 years, never really being able to support myself with my fight money. In Japan, I worked full time and saved my money. In Vegas, I lived off said saved money. I was breaking even with Invicta plus teaching kids at Syndicate. It’s like, finally, dollars are equaling the amount of effort I put into my training. Not even yet. It hasn’t even come close, if I think about dragging myself home every single day of the week. I sacrifice so much. I would like a boyfriend and a family. I would like to travel around the world. But no. I have no energy for a boyfriend, no time for kids or travel, and I have to save money because I fight so infrequently. Somebody on twitter asked me what I’m going to buy. Nothing, dude. I’m visiting my family for Christmas on the east coast. Maybe I’ll get to see them two or three times next year instead of once. I took my car Lee, a 2008 Toyota Corolla, to get his yearly maintenance that I’d been putting off for a month. That’s what I’m buying.

Anyway, that’s enough about that. 🙂

I cannot believe I forgot to use Bonny’s Ihop gift card. lol But these New York Cheesecake pancakes WERE THE BOMB!

My friends Candy and Katie traveled in from Texas and Illinois to see me and support me. <3 I enjoyed spending time with them, and having a nice dinner with them plus teammates at Fuzzy's.
I felt really really loved.

The public weigh-ins were fun. I pretended to be mad and got up right in Nicco’s face with a super aggressive face on. Dana was like, “WHOA WHOA WHOA!” and then I broke into a smile. hahaha He laughed and said, “You scared the sh*t out of me.” XD HAH


I also wore tall UFC socks with colorful Reebok socks on over top. Soxy Roxy! Dude, they won’t let us cosplay.

I was soooo tired by the end of the day. I didn’t rest at all despite doing a hard weight cut. I was running around doing extra interviews, getting my hair done, running to the dinner, and then we hurried to John’s house to gameplan for Nicco because I had no idea how to fight her. lol We watched all of her TUF fights and decided that Lauren, Montana, and Barb, all used lots of energy trying and failing to take her down, so I shouldn’t do that. I should strike with her until a take down opportunity arose, but don’t force it. I was in great shape but I’d been doing four rounds in conditioning, not five. Four to train for a three round fight, you know?

Fight day! Slept alright. Woke up, had a great breakfast. I managed to not be too nervous throughout the day. I actually felt less anxious fighting Nicco than Barb, because I had the whole “I’ve been dying for a rematch for six years!” The belt didn’t really feel real. I took a nap in the middle of the day. I spent time by myself, which I wanted.

The fight! Captain told me that he had a dream that I won by armbar.
I was the main event but thank goodness it wasn’t ridiculously late. I fought around 9:30 PM. USADA drug tested me. Warm up went well.

Then we fought.

We fought our hearts out.


Some people on the UG were saying our technique was terrible and we sucked. Another pro on twitter said “Watching two girls not good at striking bang it out is entertaining.” Oh we’re not good. That’s why in all the pictures you see clean shots landing. That’s why you see we hardly drop our hands when throwing like half the roster.

Whatever, I felt like that was my best performance. I felt I was winning on the feet. I actually took her down a few times, something with nobody else was able to do on the show, but I didn’t have enough time to work and finish the fight when it happened. Once time I was off balance and based out and that’s when she slipped her leg up for the triangle. I was like, “CRAP!” and my corner called “Thirty seconds!” I thought, “Damnit, should I try to escape and risk her getting the submission, or should I just hang on and survive for 30 seconds and probably lose the round in the judges’ eyes? If I escape I’d be on top but maybe not have enough time to finish the fight.” I took the safe route and didn’t give my all to escape. Was that the right decision?

Another time she was coming forward and I kneed her head. She ate it and took me down. She didn’t do any damage since I deflected the blows, but it looked good in the judges’s eyes. Was I wrong to knee? I could have knocked her out! Maybe she wouldn’t have gotten the takedown.

She caught a kick and took me down. Should I have not kicked? It was just one of those things.

She got the mount and side control but I escaped without damage. But it looked good in the judges’ eyes.

In the middle of the fight I heard my jiujitsu coach start calling for a take down. I did one of his striking combo suggestions and landed a nice hook. I was so excited! I don’t often land hooks because my opponents move around a lot and I’m usually chasing them. But I didn’t want to dive after her to do a takedown because she would just sprawl on me. She was back-peddling out of range really fast. Nicco is super good at defending those kinds of shots, and I was tired. Yeah, I was getting tired. Not to the point of failure yet, but I was cautious. It didn’t show at all because I was trying hard to mask it. I did things like circled, shook my arms out, did feints. But I was tired in the later rounds. It’s crazy how smooth and fluid we can be in training, but come fight time, I feel so stiff because I’m trying to throw as hard as I can.

Sometimes I couldn’t hear my corner, and when I wasn’t sure of what combo to throw, I had a moment of anxiety. Then I heard John’s voice: “Trust me that I trust you to know what to do.” And then the anxiety went away and I just did my best.

I fought SO hard. I always looked for the chance to take down but it wasn’t there. Even when I held her against the cage, she just kind of muscled me off and I knew I’d just be wasting my energy to hold her there.

I decided to try and force the takedown in the last round but then she rushed forward, I clinched, kneed, got taken down.

DAMNIT!!

Then I got the armbar locked in!! I remembered Captain’s dream. OMG I’M GONNA DO IT!

I grabbed at her wrist as hard as I could, and my fingers slid inside the wrist band of her glove.
My inner voice said, “Crap, that’s an illegal grip. Roxy, you get your fingers out of her glove RIGHT NOW. Upon our honor as martial artists, you do it right, or you don’t deserve it.”

The second I tried to readjust my grip and use the other hand as well, she yanked her arm. It slid out of my grasp, and along with it, went the championship belt and all my hopes and dreams.

I knew I had no time to take her down, get top position, and work from there, but I tried.
I knew she would get the decision. I didn’t feel like she beat me up, you know? I thought it was really close and she got some good positions. I really felt like I could have won this fight, but stuff happened. Nicco is great. We are friends so I’m glad it was her who has good fortune. She has skill, talent, and is a good person. She also fought her butt off. Hats off to you for taking this fight, my friend.

At the moment I saw Dana wrapping it around Nicco’s waste, I thought, “That could have been me. My life could have changed.” But I knew I had to smile and carry on.


I’m very spiritually centered. I know that I gave it all I could. I conceded nothing that I could avoid. I put forth all the effort I could while fighting smart. I never took breaks despite being so tired. I trained so hard. I even got sick from over training. In my heart I was satisfied, but it still hurt so much. I knew my coaches were sad, too, so I didn’t know what to say to them. I know you’re not supposed to say “sorry.” Smile and carry on. At the end of the day, no matter how much positive thinking I tried, I lost the title fight. Part of me wondered if this would be my only chance at a title shot. Another part told me to shut up and don’t think about that, just focus on training to get stronger. Smile and carry on.

I really wanted to hand the belt to John and say, “I would have retired if it weren’t for you, and now look at this!” I was in such shock and arguing with myself internally I don’t even think I hugged John and Captain after the fight. Maybe I did. I don’t remember. Dana came up to me and said stuff like “Great fight!” etc but I can’t remember any of it. I was just trying to stand there and smile and keep it together for the post-fight interview I knew was coming. Then Daniel Cormier came up to me and put his hand on my shoulder. My inner voice said, “Hold your head up. Smile. Be proud. Show that you are strong.” He paused. The crowd started cheering.

I hadn’t even said anything yet! I smiled for real then. I felt so loved. Even though I lost, I knew the fans would still love me because I have the best fans in the world. I knew I had friends and teammates and students out there, too. I was overwhelmed with that and I was so happy at that moment.

Thanks to John and Captain for being here for me.

And my friends.

This weekend was really stressful emotionally. I haven’t even really mentally rested from this whole thing because a lot of stuff is going on. I met with John and discussed what kind of training to focus on next to make me better. I’m excited to start, but my nose is still swollen and I got a skin infection from the cage mat, so I couldn’t even teach my kids this week yet! -_-;

I’ve had such an outpouring of love and support from fans and friends on social media. Thank you so much. It really helps me. Probably asside from my coaches, my biggest thanks goes to Serena Southpaw. She has been by my side through the whole thing. She has missed practice, missed sleep, trained with me and helped me do shark tanks, taught kids classes for me, helped me weight cut, tolerated my moods, given me hugs, offered to get things and do things for me. I don’t know what I would have done without her. I love you, my friend. You are the very definition of what a friend should be.

Thanks, myconsumerit.com, one of my sponsors!

TUF26 blog ep 12: Roxy vs Sijara! the final episode! all the details!

Posted in Ultimate Fighter/UFC on December 5th, 2017 by roxyfighter

This blog is a little late because the last TUF episode aired literally the day I started cutting weight for my TUF Finale fight.

Let’s travel back in time to the TUF 26 house in August. Everybody was looking forward to going home and was counting down the days. My fight vs Sijara was on the last day. We’d fight at noon, and then go back to the house, pack, get our phones back, get bussed to the hotel, and then go out to eat with Dana White. Busy busy. There were two matches…me vs Sarj, and Barb vs Nicco.

So my body was really unhappy with me for putting it through so much stress so frequently. It sucked cutting weight 7 days after my last cut. Other TUF contestants who made it as far as I had said so, but I didn’t realize what that really meant. My body always swells up for about two or three days after my cut, probably due to depriving it of sodium for a week, dehydrating myself ten pounds, and then suddenly eating and drinking a ton. I hit 145 the day after my Emily fight, which is ridiculous. I was walking around normally hydrated at 135. After I fought Emily, I only had one cheat day, and then went back on my diet. My period came and went although it wasn’t my time for like two weeks straight, indicating my hormones were confused and effed up. I didn’t have an appetite for a few days after my fight with Emily, which is weird…even when I’m sick, I always have an appetite. I was a little worried about myself. Lol

I just want to share with the public what goes on behind the scenes with female fighters.

I was also nervous about my state of physical conditioning going into the fight with Sarj because I’d been taking it easy a few days before fighting Emily, and then of course I had to rest my body after the fight. But then I’d be in the “take it easy before my fight with Sarj” period, not leaving me any time to recondition for it, since they were only 7 days apart! I figured Sarj was going through even worse with her weight cut and stuff. :/ I think I did burpies every day and tried to train kind of hard for two days that week, which I wouldn’t do on a normal fight week. The Ultimate Fighter is bizarre. I was actually worried about Sarj’s health. I gave some interviews saying that I felt the moral responsibility to beat Sarj to save her from having to cut weight down to 125 for a title shot, hoping the UFC would sign her for 135 lb fights.

Weight in morning, I was in the process of losing my final 4 pounds weigh-in morning in the bath tub, being helped by Maia as usual. I was taking my 8 minute break wrapped up in towels on the floor when I saw Sarj walk by chatting energetically with someone. I thought, “What? Is she done?” I tried to eves-drop and gathered that she cut it all at the PI the night before and was on weight. Well dang, that’s great! I was relieved and happy for her! She’s my friend, after all, until the moment she steps into the cage with me.

I didn’t have any other ideas for funny weigh-ins so I just wore the shark hat that my friend Katie gave me. I was thinking I’d wear it for a stare-down with DeAnna if we fought again because she brought a shark onsie, but that ended up not happening.

It looked super goofy, but whatever, it goes with my personality. Lol

So after weigh-ins, the teams decided to have a group practice. I’m so disappointed that the TUF editors didn’t show this! It was epic! This was the first time teams practiced together in the entire 15 year history of the Ultimate Fighter! Team Gaethje fighters hit mitts and grappled with Alvarez coaches, and vice versa. Then they played dodgeball and rugby and stuff. I wanted to join in so much, but I had just cut weight and would fight tomorrow, so I knew I couldn’t. It was amazing to watch!!

Then, the next day, Sijara and I fought.

It was epic. The only thing more epic than that fight was my title fight a few days ago, but I digress. I feel like I was winning on the feet. I started to feel my arms and legs get a little tired in the middle of the fight, and I knew it was because I didn’t have my normal conditioning with Lorenzo. Man, I really missed hearing John’s voice call out combinations. I kind of winged it….all I could hear was Justin telling me “go forward!” and “She’s getting tired!” Yeah, well, I was going forward…what combos do you want me to throw? And NO, she’s NOT getting tired. Stop saying she’s getting tired. -_-;; I know they were doing their best to coach. I’ll never blame a coach for my loss. It’s totally my responsibility.

I wanted to take her down, but she was so much stronger than me, so I decided to try and keep it standing. She reversed positions and defended takedowns with muscle to aid her technique. It was one of those situations where our technique ability was similar but she had more strength to back it up.

Yes! Judo throw takedown!

Yes!

wait….

noooo….

wtf! -_-;

She didn’t do any damage from top positions because I deflected ground and pound, but it looked good for the judges.

She defended my submission attempts. She fought very well. I felt like I lost but I didn’t feel like she beat me up, you know? I like Sijara and she worked so hard for it that I wasn’t mad, but I was of course devastated. I worked hard, too, for years. I’ve been fighting for 14 years, making pennies. I try so hard not to be jealous when some young newcommer gets signed having less than ten fights and is making tens of thousands of dollars. I wanted to win for myself and also for my coaches. The cameras didn’t catch me crying this time because I locked the bathroom door. Hahaha take that!

They made me sit off to the side in the shadows while Barb fought Nicco. I tried to focus but couldn’t.

When Nicco won, I thought hazily, “Maybe I can fight Barb on the finale now! I got to the semi-finals so there’s no way they won’t put me on the undercard!” I felt hope and knew I just had to go back to Syndicate and get stronger.
I gave a really good post-fight speech but they only showed a little bit of it. I talked about how, now when I feel the worst is the most important time to force your mind to focus on the positive aspects, because once you start slipping down the slope of negativity, it’s even harder to crawl out of that hole.
I kept reminding myself of how many of my punches landed on Sijara, which is an accomplishment for me, how we put on an exciting fight and impressed Dana, and how I might get to fight Barb if they let me in the finale.

As expected, they carted us back to the house, had us pack and get ready for dinner…which was REALLY hard when you’re mourning your fight loss, depressed, hurt, exhausted, etc. I binge-ate all the left-over ice cream in the freezer, stuffed my bags with non-perishable food from the pantry, and ate the sushi burritos that the staff from Jaburritos. THANK YOU, guys OMG. They didn’t have to do that! XD
We took a bunch of pictures.



I got the staff to drive me home instead of a hotel, and I got to hug Serena! Then I went to drive to the Italian restaurant on Freemont street at like 7 PM but my car Lee’s battery had corroded from disuse!! So Serena called me an Uber. ^^;; Poor Lee.


Dinner was nice!

Yeah so that was the final day and the story of my fight. The next week I went back to my normal kids teaching schedule at Syndicate, and the week after that, training. Things that happened during my fight with Sijara haunted me for months, as losses tend do. I asked John if I could request the match up with Barb. He said yes, and the very next week, they offered without us having to ask!

…. stay tuned for my next blog about that!

Thanks to my blog sponsor My Consumer I.T. They’re a successful online business solutions company that offer a ton of services. Back up, security, monitoring, SEO scans, etc. Check out their website! myconsumerit.com