Roxanne Modafferi

The Happy Warrior

“Don’t worry about anything during training,” Q-chan, TV shows, languages

Posted in every day, family and holidays, fight, friends, fun, training on July 1st, 2017 by roxyfighter

It’s been a good week. A hard week. “Sometimes you have to have a rough one to have a good one,” Donny, my training partner told me one day, when I was looking like hell after training.

It felt like in the previous week, every technique I tried to do, I failed to do. I know that when I first learn something, many times I can’t do it live that day. I have to practice it and drill it first to master it. But man, I was counting and I felt I couldn’t do anything I wanted! But I know I know, it’s just part of training. I just have to battle my emotions, relax, and just look forward to the next time I get to try stuff.

Diego, Captain’s black belt friend, actually took me aside (because his wife Luciana probably told him I’d been crying in the girls’ changing room -_- …snitch!) and said to me, “Don’t worry about anything during training. It’s your attitude and feelings that make good training. If you feel happy and good, you have good training.” He explained further, and I can’t remember the direct quotes, that I (Roxanne) train every day and there are other things involved, like my tiredness level or the strength of a bigger man as my partner. I told him that was upset me was when I forget the techniques I was taught. I hate when I forget what I should know! And then he repeated, “We all forget! Don’t worry about anything during training.”

That kind of made an impression on me. I feel like I know this, but it was nice to hear it again from someone other than my inner voice, you know? And it makes sense. I try and follow my own Jedi-like code : “There is no emotion, there is peace.” Emotions are not needed during a fight, or training. Once I start getting frustrated or upset, it inhibits further technique and training.

Thursday I repeated that to myself to try and calm myself down when I was having a rough session.
Wednesday, John, Jordan, and Rich helped shark-tank me.

The week before that, Jordan and Serena helped me out, and Captain jumped in when John couldn’t make it. That was sweet… I didn’t even ask him! I was in the middle of going as hard as I could and I started to hear his voice.

I’ve been doing lots of double sessions back to back lately. My weight loss has been stagnating, but if I don’t eat, I’m tired and don’t recover as well. It’s a balance! A hard one. Well, I only have two pounds to lose before I reach where I want to be.

And I was stress-eating during Serena’s fight week. LOL Our friend’s suffering becomes our suffering a little bit. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten two donuts in one sitting. haha New experiences all around….

So her family left and that was sad, but then my friend Q from college came to visit from the Boston area! It was great! She went sight-seeing on the Vegas strip when I had to train, and then we hung out together during other times. We saw a comedy show, and I was excited that Mike Hammer, the comedian, knew who I was! πŸ˜€ He saw me in the audience.

We also saw Cirque Du Soleil’s Ka, which I’ve been wanting to see for years! Thanks, Michael, for buying our tickets! <3 I took Q on the Red Rock driving trail.

We did jiujitsu together. We watched four eps of Attack on Titan season 2, and four of Sword Art Online. πŸ˜€ We ate at Skinnyfats and El Pollo Loco, my favorite restaurants, and JaBurritos, the sushi burrito place.

I have missed her, but at the same time, we talk every week so it felt natural. It was so good to show her my life and stuff I love! <3 <3 Man, time has been passing so quickly. Last week Q was here?! This past week was training as normal and it was fantastic. From Monday on, I was hitting all the moves I couldn't do last week. I kept being able to do the moves of the day. I did the back-take I couldn't do last week. I've been choking people out with my new set-up! My striking technique has been on point. I've been hitting the new wall-takedown technique. And my kid students have been impressing me. HAH Hell yeah!
Serena is back in training!

My cardio level is back to excellent! Serena ran stairs with me this week.


I adore Team Syndicate so much! Best coaches, best training partners!!

I actually ran myself into the ground Thursday, and nearly passed out. So I rescheduled my strength and conditioning with Lorenzo for Saturday instead of Friday. πŸ™ Later that day, after I fnished teaching kids, Captain said, “You had a good day of training!” I said, “What? But I didn’t train!” He said, “I know! Rest is training.”

feh. A fighter gets pressure to train their butts off, and then when said butt falls off, we get flack for not resting enough! We can’t win!! “Listen to your body!” Oh please, if I listened to my body, I wouldn’t be a fighter! haha

I’m ready for my next fight, whenever that may be! I wish I knew!! Gotta be ready!

So normally I have almost zero waking hours to lay down, but Thursday and Friday I had some time, so I watched My Hero Academia and Transformers Prime. Man, I really like Todoroki’s character!
I’m on Season 1 ep 22 of the Transformers now. I had heard that after Beast Wars (which I watched as a teenager), the target age group got lowered, but Prime feels serious enough for me to be interested in it. Optimus is so cool. *_* I love strong leaders with strong morals. I think he’s my favorite, but I also like Rachet’s logical character. Miko annoys the snot out of me! πŸ™ stupid kid!

I adore the music and just bought the back ground music cd! I rarely buy CDs so you know it’s good. πŸ™‚

Due to my exhaustion, I’ve only been studying Portuguese once a week with Thais instead of two. :/ I’ve been slacking a little on my Japanese, as well. I did a translation project listening to Japanese fighter’s interviews, which was awesome! That’s done now, though…
Speaking of Portuguese, the prodigy Brazilian BJJ kids started going to another gym where there were more teenagers their size and level. I’m sad! oh well. I wish a Japanese person would join the gym. haha.

my visit to NY and NJ to visit family!

Posted in family and holidays on February 28th, 2017 by roxyfighter

I took a trip from Thursday to Sunday to visit my other half of the family! YAY!

As some may recall, I made this big plan for Christmas to see my Dad, Mom, Aunts, Uncles, and cousins. Then I thought I would be fighting in Invicta in January so I canceled half the trip and only saw my dad so I could have enough time to train. I was gonna see my mom, too, but she FORBID me to come, stating that it was because she was worried about me driving in the a potential blizzard that never actually happened… and I think that was the most hurtful fight I’ve ever had with her in my life….

Just saying, Mom.
I would drive through a billion ice storms to see youuuuu! But then I’m a bad daughter if I worry my mother sick, right? I already worry her enough with my profession…gah!

I had fun visiting my dad and then found out I was NOT offered any fights January, so it was kind of all for nothing…

So that was an emotional time…

A fighter never REALLY knows when they’re going to fight. Some in the big leagues get fights set months in advance so they can plan around it, but also there are last minute offers to consider. My fight wasn’t being set and I really wanted to visit my mommmmmmmmmm and relatives! So I decided, screw it, and booked a trip two weeks from then (when I decided), which was last week!

It was a wonderful whirlwind and went according to plan!
“A perfect plan isn’t something where things happen perfectly. A perfect plan has the flexibility to change if need be.” ~Makishima Shogo, Psycho-pass

The plane from Denver to Newark was delayed two hours because of snow (HAHAH IRONY! grrr!).

I arrived, rented a car from Enterprise (I love them), drove to my Aunt Connie’s house! Saw my cousins and their toddler! He can talk now! That’s what happens when you visit once a year. haha

Stayed up late chatting with my cousin Joe-Joe to wait for my Aunt and Uncle to get home. I remember playing with him when he was baby, and now we talk about weight-training, fighting, and teaching together! haha! Then I chatted with my aunt until midnight.

Woke up Friday and Cousin Alison and her baby came over.

We all had breakfast and then I drove north to a small city in update NY where I saw my aunt, my mom’s older sister! I chat with her on the phone sometimes, but it was nice to sit down and chat. We met up with my Uncle for dinner and it was really nice. πŸ™‚

Saturday morning I woke up super early and drove to see my MOM!!!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!!!!!

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
I can’t even express enough how happy I was.

I had lunch with my uncle, my mom’s brother! I have been wanting to meet him for an entire year now because he’s been ill, and when I went to the east coast last time, he was away from treatment. So I’m thankful he still here for me to see!! I took him out for Chinese food! I love talking to him! He’s so interesting. So creative. Then went back and hung out with mom and I took her out for Chinese food….at the same place. HAHAH I didn’t know my Uncle had wanted to go there before I made plans with my mom! lol oh well! *shrug* I like Chinese food. I would have liked to spend more time with my uncle, but I had so little time with my mom….I had like 24 hours in each place I visited. :/

I watched the X-files with my mom! That was an unexpected pleasure! We used to watch consistently all the seasons except the last one when I was in high school!!

Sunday afternoon I drove to the Albany airport and flew out in the evening. I got back to Vegas at like 11 PM Sunday, and woke up Monday ready to train!

I did my burpie set Monday morning and found my fitness hasn’t really gone down too much. I had been in great shape before I left. I probably gained a pound but whatever. I had been doing one-legged squats and other things my trainer Lorenzo taught me, plus stuff with the exercise band I brought with me.

I really liked this trip. I only missed teaching one kids class on Friday, and two MMA sessions (Thursday and Saturday). But it’s expensive for me to fly to the east coast twice in succession like this. :/

I wanna get rich so I can visit my family more and help my family.

Some of my teammates have been sick, and I got a sore throat but it went away without me coming down with anything. I have Herbal Papaya to thank…. I’ve never gotten sick while taking these capsules! They really do boost my immune system! I really recommend people checking them out on herbalpapaya.com

My 2016 in pictures

Posted in every day, family and holidays, fight, friends, fun, moving, training on January 1st, 2017 by roxyfighter

In February, I did an MMA seminar at KSA in Tennessee!

Kerry and Emma visited for a few weeks from England to train! <3

I was invited to watch The Ultimate Fighter Season 23 elimination fights, where Jamie, Khalil, and Cory made it into the house. I got a nicer picture with Dana than I had before (when I had a huge black eye), and I took a pic of the camera crew interviewing Coach John because he’s awesome. I actually got in trouble for taking this cuz somebody noticed. They told me to delete it but I didn’t. lol Hey, I didn’t take a picture of any of the actual fights!!

In March. My kids class is growing, from three kids to a small group!

I started getting treated by Teri, the most fantastic massage therapist I’ve ever met, and she made my pain go away! My training and life improved so much!

Also in March, Invicta 16 happened and I got to become Mileena!


I got to meet my good friend Patrick, who I’ve known online for years but had never met before!


I won!
My friends dressed up and it was incredibly epic.

I won!

In April I got to see my Aunt Mary and Uncle Steve, then I went to my baby cousin’s baby shower with my Dad and Marion, so I got to see all of my family except my Uncle Fran! πŸ˜€ I even got to train with my old training partner/coach Dave and see Kirik!

In April, Serena won her Tuff-N-Uff fight!

At the end of April, Mom, who I’d been living with for almost three years, moved to New York, and I moved in with Hannah.

I decided to start doing more gi. I got a beautiful black gi from Dragon do.

I started asking Casey for private lessons in the gi. He’s an incredibly excellent teacher. I’ve grown because of him.

My friend Brittany visited Vegas from Japan and stayed with me. I dressed up as Rey from Star Wars for John’s son Maverick’s birthday party.

I finished Naruto!

I settle into my role as sole teacher of the 4-7 year old kids jiujitsu class and made it 5-7. I also took over Chris’ position helping Coach Rick teach the older kid’s jiujitsu class in addition to my younger class.

Aussie Jessy Jess Clark (purple hair) came to Syndicate and decided to join!

Hannah left me for a man and moved out, so Jessy moved in to the empty room. lol !

I came to realize that Captain is my favorite jiujitsu teacher of all time, and I want to be his disciple, kind of like the BJJ version of John. <3

I’ve tried to make more of an effort to spend time with my female training partner friends.

I fought in Invicta 19 for the title against Jennifer Maia. I got to be She-ra, the Princess of Power (and rocked it, if I do say so), and John got to be He-man. But he’s always been He-man to me. ^_^

And it was a war.


She won by split decision. I had fought really well and was happy with my performance. Of course I was very disappointed I lost, but my friends distracted me with multiple birthday parties, lots of cake, ice cream, and Taco Bell.

I turned 34 years old.

John told me to get stronger and put on muscle, so I started consistently lifting weights about three days a week.
I also decided to throw myself into jiujitsu gi classes, because I felt I was stronger when I was more into jiujitsu. I promised myself I’d train double classes, which I had always avoided because it made me tired for MMA class. I decided I’d do it anyway and trained till I dropped.

Every time I started getting frustrated in class, I started telling myself that a Jedi doesn’t need emotions. And it works.

My best friend Serena also lost her fight before that, and that was devastating.

In October, I hosted a Halloween party! and became Goku for Costume Sparring at Syndicate.

I moved into a three-bedroom apartment with Serena and Jessy!

I promoted a student for the first time! Preston gets gray white! Despite being challenged with Autism, he always tried so hard at jiujitsu and to be a good person and nice to his classmates!

I tried a jiujitsu tournament, my first in 11 years, and lost both matches. I was devastated. I kept the consolation medal so when I looked at it, I was reminded that emotional pain hurts more than physical pain. I’ll throw it away when I get one that I earn.

In December, two of my students competed in a jiujitsu tournament and they both won all their matches and got first place! I was so happy I cried a lot.

My kids class has gotten so big! πŸ˜€

I went to Boston to visit my dad! He told me to retire from MMA and get a better job, but other than that, it was nice. Who listens to their parents anyway? πŸ™‚

It’s a shame people are saying “2016 sucks.” I had plenty of negative things happen to me, but while looking through the pictures, I see all the positive things that happened, plus things I don’t have room to post.

I have goals.

I will put one of these in my closest and throw the other in the trash can. To do that, I must go defeat all the other purple belts at tournaments. I need to improve more and more and prove that I’ve improved. I don’t just want the symbols, I want to get so good at jiujitsu that everybody will know my subs are coming but can’t do anything to stop them. I want people to be like, “Oh she has the back, it’s all over!!!”

I also will restate my New Years resolution: same as last year with one addition. Study Japanese for at least 30 minutes every other day. I kept that one until my fight in September! That’s great, huh? For 9 months I kept that resolution! This time I’m adding 15 minutes of Portuguese every other day. I’ve started doing a language exchange with Thais, Captain’s wife. So if I keep that up twice a week, that’ll keep my resolution covered.

Also, I will fight a lot and win all my MMA fights! Get a knock out. Just to prove I have the ability.

At Syndicate, I found a coach who can teach me striking, a feat impossible before. This year I made up a technique – The Roxycopter! (Serena named it) I found a massage therapist, Teri. I found a jiujitsu coach I commit to, who is also an inspiration because he’s a teacher and fighter, just like me. I think I may have found a physical trainer I can trust. Can he help me fix what I haven’t been able to fix for a decade?

In Syndicate I trust.

And as you can see, people made up so much of what happened to me. I met people, made friends, became closer with friends I already had, was treated well by my sponsors. Thank you to everyone for being a part of my life, whether you be my mother, my roommate, my training partner, my friend, my fan who interacts with me on social media, or the fan who has never contacted me but watches me fight and wishes me well. Thank you for your energy!

My Christmas vacation trip

Posted in family and holidays on December 28th, 2016 by roxyfighter

I had a nice Christmas vacation.

I went to Boston from Friday to Tuesday morning. I trained not a bit other than taking two walks, jumping jacks, squats, and push ups. I ate A LOT. And it was great.

Throughout the year, I don’t talk to my dad as much as my mom because he’s so busy at work, so it was great to get to spend time with him. However, the first day I was there, he gave me the anticipated speech about how he wants me to stop fighting and consider another line of work. However, this time, it was way more forceful and kind of bummed me out for most of my trip. I’m prepared for my parents’ disapproval…. what parent REALLY wants their kid to fight for a living? But kids also desire their parents approval in general, and it sucks I can’t get mine.

Hey, if I were flat broke and I came to him, “Dad, can I borrow five thousand dollars to hold me over to my next fight?” then that is a different story. If I were him, I’d tell me, “No, dear, you need to take responsibility by making do with a more well-paying part-time job, or get a full-time job and train at night.” But I’m NOT doing that.

Of course I want a family and kids SOME DAY, and more money . I don’t date because a boyfriend is distracting, and I only meet people at my gym, and I don’t wanna date anyone from my gym. My step-brother just got engaged. My two cousins are married with kids. If I have a kid, I wanna be able to quit my job for a few years to take care of the infant and have a husband who has a job in which we can make do. I will not fight. I will not be one of those parents to brings their babies to the gym to cry while everybody else is trying to train. It’s not a priority right now in my life.

whoaaaaaaa I went off on a rant there. I’m sure my dad is glad I haven’t settled down with a fighterguy.
single-meme
I’m actually not allowed to write anything on social media while I’m visiting because Dad demands privacy. I got in big trouble for posting a picture of pizza on instragram…. One of my step-siblings ratted me out by accident…. thanks. It’s just pizza….
sad-anime-girl

I’ll probably get in trouble for this blog…unless I block all my step family on Facebook. πŸ˜€

whatever-i-do-what-i-want

Anyway, ate good food, got scolded for not knowing current events (excuse me for not spending my precious time and energy on things that don’t effect my life and I won’t care about in another few months), ate the best Mexican enchiladas on the planet, watched lots of football, and got included in a card game with my step-cousins.

I got lovely presents and I am very grateful for them.γ€€γ€€However, all I really cared about was the time spent with Dad. “All I want for Christmas is you!” is totally true. Just buy me a plane ticket and call it my present.

AND THIS probably topped my Christmas gift experienced and it was a gift from like 20 years ago. XD
super-nintendo
I found it when I was looking through some of my boxes that I left in the basement. I can’t wait to find out if it still works.

I missed my mom and my extended family, but you know, I accepted the fighter life-style, which means missing family for the holidays. I hope I’ll get to fight in March. That’ll make 6 months since my last fight…

I’m going to do a jiujitsu tournament in California at the end of January. The one in Cerritos college is 4-5 hours away but looking online, nobody’s signed up for my weight division yet. The one in San Jose is supposed to be bigger but it’s like 8 hours away. πŸ™ I don’t really wanna do that but I really wanna compete…. I physically can’t sit that long. My neck, shoulders, back, and knees start hurting. It’s a problem.

This entry comes across as a little negative, doesn’t it. Well, life isn’t perfect but I’m glad to be back to Vegas and a place where people accept and admire me, and where I have self-worth….

I went to Captain’s evening jiujitsu class because I had missed morning training. I seriously felt like a zombie because I had woken up at 2 AM Boston time (11 PM Vegas Time) to travel 30 mins to the airport to catch my 6 Am flight. I was so tired but enjoyed class. I got to roll with Captain a lot.
rolled-with-professor-only-tapped-5-times
That was fun. I love training with him.
sparklie-eyes-fangirl
I can’t submit him even with a choke fully sunk or armbar fully sunk…He said one of my chokes was close. Close is as good as I’m gonna get. haha

new women’s weight divisions in the UFC

Posted in every day, family and holidays, fight, friends on December 14th, 2016 by roxyfighter

Dana White had said there would never be women in the Octagon. Then enter Ronda Rousey. Then the 115 lb division happened. Now he and other men in charge are saying a 125 lb division would deplete 135 and 115. (meaning they are admitting half of those people in those divisions really belong in 125 . yep! But guys, changing weight divisions isn’t like buying a donut or not. It’s years of putting on or losing muscle, having such low body fats our periods stop or our kidneys and livers panic….) Then Mr. White said that the 125 lb div would probably be next. Then they go ahead and make the 145 lb division for Cyborg. What?

featherweight-title
Hey, I get it. It’s a business. I’m a HUGE Dana White fan. I don’t believe “he lies,” as someone people are saying. I think plans just change. He’s a great businessman.

However, the excuse about depletion is….well, not true, I think.

If Dana White or Sean Shelby read this, no offense, I love you, you’re my heroes. πŸ™‚ I do get it. I know it’s only a matter of time!

They found Alexandra Albu who was 5-0 in Poland. She’s hot as hell….I found out about her cuz the guys on the Underground Forum wouldn’t stop posting booty pics of her.

Looking at the UFC website now for lists of female fighters…..

Ericka Almeida I’ve never heard of but she’s 7-2 out of Brazil and seems like a bad-ass.
Izabela Badurek I’ve never heard of. 5-3 after her loss to Badurek.
Anna Elmose is someone I have no idea who she is. Looking at her record, she’s 3-2 which means she was signed at 3-0. She lost to Amanda Bobby Cooper, and before that, to Germaine de Randamine…hang on a second, Germaine fights at 135. So she went down two weight divisions. wtf?

So the point is, there are women people haven’t even heard of, plus more well known fighters that you probably could name off the top of your head. How can the excuse still be used that “there are not enough fighters in XYZ division?”

I’ve been fighting for 13 years. People like to ask me in interviews if I want to fight for the UFC. Guys, I’m signed to Invicta. When you are at your company’s press conference, you don’t say to the board of directors, ‘Yeah I’d rather be at the company next door, but thanks for the paycheck!’
meme
Of COURSE I want to see the 125lb division come into existence in the UFC.

Sometimes people ask me how I feel about Valerie Letourneau being in the UFC despite me having beaten her in the Ultimate Fighter season 18. I say, good for her. I got to have the public exposure and experience on the show that she didn’t have, so I’m glad she can also have a good career. I did win, though….

It’s too bad a lot of her publicity nowadays is the fact she almost died TWICE to make 115. Good for MMA that that stuff is being brought to light, bad for her. Dude, I met her at a Tuff-N-Uff amateur show in Vegas and we talked. She said that she would refuse to fight at 115 again and wait until they made 125 lbs before she fought. I was kind of excited to hear that. Someone was taking a stand, I thought!!

Then I heard the announcement her fight was set (that she just did) at 115 and I thought, “welp, have fun with that, girl….” And then she missed weight. She doesn’t have Cyborg or Ronda star-power in order to influence the UFC bosses to create a division just for her.

I know decisions are made around money. It’s a business. We are athletes but that is secondary. We have to fit into their schemes and plans. I’m not the one looking at the ratings, the profits, the expenditures. I don’t know all the contract details. Neither do guys, right? So I have my opinions, you have your opinions, but we don’t have all the information.

I’ve got people on my Facebook saying very STRONGLY “Oh obviously there aren’t enough women at 125 so 145 is obviously the best choice.” I wanna be like “Well, everyone is entitled to their opinions EVEN IF THEY ARE WRONG.” I can only name under ten 145 lb fighters off the top of my head, but tons more 125-ers.

I am a little disappointed about the creation of 145 lb division before 125, but I know it’s all a matter of time. I’m sure there is a financial backing for that decision. And hey, I’m not a huge, scary, Brazilian woman who’s one-of-a-kind in the world who has decimated most of her opponents in under a round, so I can’t demand a division be made just for me, right? Nor am I a hot babe like Gina Carano who only has to smile or wink and 1,000 men make gifs of said action. lol

Life isn’t fair and MMA life is a little less fair than normal life.

I totally get it.

I just want to fight. It sucks we fighters can’t control when we fight. We literally have to beg promoters and match makers to put us on the card. But as I said, life isn’t fair.

So, as for me, my Christmas plans are messed up now, but I’m trying to be optimistic about the holidays and about next year. My mom is a fan of the phrase “It was meant to be” or “Everything always works out.” I hate those phrases. They are very passive. I hate being passive in life. I believe in taking action to make things happen. As long as you don’t DIE, you continue with your life and do the best you can and try and find positive things, so therefore “everything works out” means that “other stuff happens that might also be good.”

I’m going to Boston to visit my dad. I’ll miss seeing the rest of the family, but wait, I gotta focus on the positive. My dad. I hardly get to see him throughout the year. I guess that’s it….

I haven’t lifted weights since I pulled my bicep muscle and shoulder, but I’ve still been driving myself through double-duty classes of gi jiujitsu and MMA. It’s better now but climbing ropes still gives me bicep cramps and I am bummed out because I wanted to work hard at that because Captain said so. ~_~; I’m improving my striking with every private lesson John gives me, and learning stuff in jiujitsu every day. I’m aiming for a jiujitsu tournament early next year. I’m really enjoying doing so much jiujitsu since it’s my favorite part of martial arts.
double-choke

I am keeping my weight down and my cardio up because I still don’t know when I’m fighting.

I had sushi with Jamie yesterday. It was a nice celebration for her UFC win, and nice to chat and catch up! Thanks, Jamie.
jamie-and-sushi-1

jamie-and-sushi-2
Serena is gone for three weeks visiting her family. I miss her. :< [edit] I just realized I ended this entry on a negative note. That is unacceptable for The Happy Warrior. Let's see...I have a private lesson of striking with John, then a massage with Teri, who is magical, and the my kids classes! aaaah my kids!! im-so-excited

It’ll be a good day.