Hi! 😀

Lots of people are asking me, “How’s retirement life?”

Yo…It’s not like I’m done working. I need to find a day job. lol I just fought so I’m good with money for a while, but not indefinitely. Especially if the government is trying to do away with the middle class. Guys, I don’t know what the heck to believe anymore! Reading news nowadays is making me want to stick my head back in the sand. All these controversial topics! Messing up youknowwhat mortality numbers, gas prices affected or not actually effected by Russia, trans gender stuff…can’t we just make a trans gender league? Russia evil vs not evil, Ukraine gov being corrupt or not etc but nobody’s talking about that?

WTF is going on?!

I don’t know what’s true. I don’t know wth is going on anymore.

I do know that killing is bad, mmkay?

Or maybe we could just be like Eren.


There’s sooo much stuff out there it really makes me wonder, what exactly does “truth” mean? Is there even a “truth” or just different people’s perceptions? I can’t imagine people are being evil for the sake of being evil. When you watch movies about super villains, they always think they are doing right by someone or something, and often, they are. I’ve been thinking about that a lot.

Watch the freaking anime Attack on Titan. The most recent episode? BRUTAL. Freaking BRUTAL. Worst choices that have to be made. EVER. When it comes down to it, who’s life are you protecting? Do you have the power to protect anyone?

“So how’s retirement?” I started out less busy so I have the energy to have deep philosophical and world-newsy conversations with my fiance after he comes home from work. -_-; Now I’m getting busy again. Honestly, all that negativity sucks, but I have to try and understand to be a good human to live in this crazy world.


Other than that, I wake up in the morning feeling not dead and crushed from being 39 and training like a full-time athlete. That’s nice! 😀 I’ve been making “future wifey training” videos and posting them on instagram. lol Not only are they fun to make, I’ve been getting a lot of views and feedback from fans.

SEE, I PROMISED YOU ENTERTAINMENT, even after I finished fighting! 😀 I owe it to the fans! 🙂

My “sexy pose” on the Star Wars kettlebells has the most views so far, I think. Me folding laundry and dancing was also great, and then pretending to fend off an attacker with an iron skillet which was too heavy for me was really fun to make.

So starting sometime last year, I feel like my body has been changing. I’m waking up later, like at 5 AM instead of 4AM. Recently it’s been at 6, with Chris’ alarm for work. That’s unheard of! I haven’t gotten up at six since I was … under 20. Also, my appetite is weird. (no, I’m not pregnant yet). I’m not hungry for breakfast, but my stomach gurgles so I eat, but not as much as I used to.

I used to scarf down lunch immediately after practice, but now I’m not hungry and I wait an hour, which is unheard of. I wasn’t hungry at all for food in the days surrounding my last fight, which freaked me out.

So now at least I don’t have to stress that my weird appetite will effect my fighting. I can just deal with it as a thing. I’ve been losing weight, though! A week after my fight, I usually have trouble keeping my weight down because I’m not training, and I get up to like 145 or 147. (I’m usually 140-ish). I know it doesn’t seem like many pounds, but when you’re a female who’s smaller, you can feel every pound. Anyway, I was like 138, 137, 136…. it was going down every few days.

I tried not to freak out. Omg I’m losing muscle from not training?! Oh no, I can’t lose muscle! It takes me FOREVER to build muscle, and to lose it in a few weeks?! Wait, it doesn’t matter because I don’t need to fight MMA anymore… yes, it does matter! You still want to be strong and do jiujitsu! No, don’t freak out, it’s fine! No, it’s not fine!


My left leg where she kicked me was messed up for a few weeks, but finally it healed so I went back to training. I joined Jiujitsu Methods, a new club started by my former jiujitsu instructor at Dunham’s Jiujitsu (rest in peace, gym!). His name is Rene Lopez and his new gym is 20 minutes from my house, which isn’t too bad.

I really miss my teammates at Syndicate. I miss seeing them every day. I miss my old team and the cheerful hellos from people. I miss training with Serena and the other people I used to enjoy training with. I miss Coach John, Jonny, Mike Pyle, and the jiujitsu class.

I have a lot of emotions surrounding that, but I’m working on trying to let it go and move on to the next chapter of my life. I never imagined it would be like this.

I’m glad Rene decided to teach Spider Guard in February and March, because those are the techniques I most wanted to learn. When I was feeling sad, emotional, excited, lonely, mixed everything, I told myself, “Okay now you get to learn spider guard with Rene” and my heart went, “WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay whohooooooooooooo.”

And I was SO happy. I am so happy. 🙂

Life with Chris is amazing, as always. I love him so so much! We are getting married in October! I’ve been doing a lot of wedding planning. We are trying to keep it small, under 100 people. There are so many people I want to invite but we can’t have a massive wedding, so I hope people aren’t insulted if you don’t get an invite. ;_;

Still trying to finalize my next employment. But I got a writing gig at TheAllStar.io. Check out my latest article.

I’m helping Rene teach kids once week and I’ll see where that goes.
I was invited to teach grappling for teens at Nomad Krav Maga! I didn’t expect myself to like it as much as I do! Shannon, the owner, is a really good guy! I love how he runs his class. I really loved the atmosphere there. That’s a nice little gig.
Yesterday I substitute-taught for Serena when she was training. She has a tentative fight offer! Now I hope it gets solidified and she gets the bout agreement!

I feel like I’m running around when it comes to kids classes, but eventually I’ll settle down. I don’t want to teach every night or I won’t get to relax with Chris much!

I’m training once at week at Lorenzo’s Primetime Performance. He’s been busy, so his son Preston is training me. I really like him, though, which is rare! I’ve never liked any trainer but Lorenzo in my entire life, so that means Preston is something special, too.

I’m also taking gun safety training lessons. I hate guns. That’s why I’m determined to be a good gun user. I’ve been practicing loading it and changing the magazines with my eyes closed.

I’m still sponsored by Xmartial.com! Check out their gear! I love how there are so many design options for anybody with any personality! The quality is also really good.

I have a seminar planned in Bellingham BJJ in Washington stage, on April 30th and May 1st! More info to come!

“How’s retirement life?”

In all seriousness, it feels really good to no longer feel the pressure that everything I do in the day is revolving around MMA fighting. It’s true that MMA is a lifestyle.

Life feels good.

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