Roxanne Modafferi

The Happy Warrior

Invicta prep! Mental challenges, my student, Rowdy Rollers BJJ, team, choked out, sponsors

Posted in dream, every day, fight, friends, fun, training on May 13th, 2017 by roxyfighter

Do you ever get that day where you’ve been working hard and one day you feel like crap and you decide to stay home and take a day off from exercising because you know you’d just have a bad performance and it’s better to rest up and be better the next day?

That’s the smart thing to do, but I never do it. I cannot rest.

I’d rather go and fail or do poorly, than not go. “You can’t ‘not even try!'” I would tell myself. Even my dad said to me one time, “Resting is difficult for Modafferis.” Everyone with my dad’s bloodline is constantly on the go. You should hear about what my Aunt Connie does daily… raised three kids while working as an elementary/middle school music teacher full-time, taught private piano lessons daily after school, taught choir after school (or what is school chorus? whichever!) and on weekends at the church AND THE SCHOOL, and SANG masses at her church…

She’s amazing. I don’t think she knows that I admire her. I love my Modafferi bloodline, but I’m also glad I have my mom’s bloodline, too. Her family is long-lived…. everyone’s lived into their 90s, and my grandfather was 102 when he passed. Maybe I’m not a vampire after all, but her blood is keeping me looking young. Or maybe she’s a vampire?!?!

But I digress.

Two Thursdays ago, I kinda lost it. I was so mentally tired. I’m not afraid to say it because most people don’t know about what a fighter goes through mentally. Taking care of yourself mentally is just as important as physically, for fighters and non-fighters alike. I found a pretty good balance in my normal life, but when I fight prep, my rest periods go towards conditioning.

I’ve been told that if a fighter doesn’t cry or have a fit at least once in their training camp, they’re not training hard enough. I’ve been doing MMA, jiujitsu, conditioning, plus teaching my kids jiujitsu and privates for weeks on end, only skipping martial arts on Sunday. But that’s my yoga day (I hate yoga so I’m still forcing myself to ‘train,’) and chore day.

Thursday I did my stairs conditioning, went into BJJ, felt unmotivated but did it anyway because BJJ is life, and then did MMA class. My mind was just so tired. I felt like the past weeks were one continuous day. I’d been sleeping but I felt like I hadn’t, you know?

I remember standing in front of my first sparring partner, Serena, raising my hands, hearing John say “Work Time!” and a little voice in my head said, “Again? I don’t want to do this right now….”

Damnit. Whenever the audible voice pops up in my head, it’s bad news. I haven’t heard myself think for ages. It’s something that shows I’m not focused, that I haven’t tapped into my subconscious instinct for feeling the fight.

We sparred and I performed like crap. In the second round, I sparred with Jessy, and performed like crap. One time she hit me and I saw flashes of white. After that round, that was it.

(Jessica happened to be taking pictures during my horrible round. ug! noooo)

I went into Casey’s office and cried on him for two rounds. -_-

It was weird because nothing was really wrong. I was so excited about everything. I was too excited. I was excited about my fight – great camp, no injuries, I’m in phenominal shape! My personal life is fine, my kids classes are spectacular, the UFC is opening 125, my future looks bright… “Why…am…I…crying?” I cried to Casey. lol My mind seemed solid, but my emotions were tired and my body was just randomly crying.

There was a disconnect there.
I’m gonna make fun of myself with a “feels” meme now.

“You know,” Casey said, “You are one of the most mentally strong people I know. It takes a lot of mental strength to do what you do.”

I keep thinking back to college, where I was SO stressed out because I had to juggle tons of classes, studying, part-time job, training, personal life, etc. I thought that was the most stressful time of my life. But I guess it’s not fair to compare stresses in different time-periods, just like it’s not fair for two people to compare their stresses. We are different people at different stages of our lives. If you’re stressed, you’re stressed. Don’t belittle it. Saying, “You shouldn’t be stressed because I just got fired and my pet died and my boyfriend left me” really doesn’t make me feel any less stressed, and in fact, makes one feel guilty.

Anyway. I felt a little better after that. Thank you, Casey, for always being there for me. He suggested I stop training for the day. (It was my third session of the day anyway) but then one of my favorite Rob Zombie song came on, and I felt the need to redeem myself. It’s never too late. One of my favorite quotes came from Ronda Rousey when she said, “Training to be a champion on your worst day.” On my honor as a martial artist, I will finish the class.

So I sparred with Mike, and I had a great match! Really great. I felt reinflated, if that makes sense. Thanks, Casey, thanks Mike, thanks Rob Zombie. Then I did the drilling cool down at the end and can say proudly that I finished class and didn’t give up.

I was kind of hiding from Coach John during class… I didn’t want him to see me cry. ._. Later when I talked to him, he said the same thing as Casey. “Fighters aren’t always going to have perfect days every day. It’s just one of those days.”

I went home and took an ice bath (gah!) and watched Transformer movies online for the rest of the day. lol Lorenzo had been telling me to take a break, but I had no time to take a break! I’ve been going non-stop….lucky I haven’t gotten sick.

Friday I had a really hard conditioning session with Lorenzo. x_x ug. I was able to push through that with no problem. Then the weekend was a little rearranged, and I was hoping that would help me mentally recover. It did!

So Saturday I coached my student Preston at his first jiujitsu tournament. There was only one other kid in his division. He used to be hesitant to do takedowns, and if he felt himself failing, he would fall on his butt (and promptly get mounted) rather than risk being thrown and slammed. So we’ve been training takedown strategy so much. I’m so proud of the fact that he went out there and bravely grabbed his opponent!

His opponent tried o-soto-gari, which is HIS favorite throw, so he pushed forward and tried for a single/ double leg takedown! I taught him to think o-soto, and if it didn’t work, immediately switch to the double-leg. Jessy’s been working a lot of wrestling with him, too. He started the takedown but they fell awkwardly and the opponent got on top and held him down with kesa-gatame, scarf hold.

Preston managed to almost get out, but then the opponent tried to mount but Preston got half guard. WEEeeee! getting half guard instead of getting mounted was something else we trained a lot!! They got restarted in the middle. I yelled to Preston to get his guard back. He got his guard back and immediately tried for the choke! He’s so good at it! His opponent spent the next minute fending off his choke.

Preston couldn’t get it and unfortunately lost on points. 🙁 The opponent was really good…really smooth. Seemed too good. I asked casually to the coach next to me, “How long has your student been training?” He said, “Oh two years.”

What? Excuse me, but usually a student training for two years doesn’t have a white belt with only one stripe on it……………………………..or compete in a white belt division… just saying……………

But that makes me even MORE proud of Preston for doing so well against an opponent with over double the experience he has.

So on Monday, I promoted Preston to gray-white belt.

The IBJJF guidelines say after 6 months the kids get a new belt, but I think that’s too soon to learn the basics. I want my gray belts to be strong and have a good base, especially if they’re gonna compete. I have a list of techniques they have to know. And Preston knows them. Preston has been training for about 7 or 8 months, and he’s learned so fast because he comes literally every day and does private lessons with me twice a week.

I’m so so proud of him!!

On Sunday, I went to Las Vegas Rowdy Rollers, an all-female open mat organized by Mylene from Chris Engle’s BJJ school.

I had such a great time!

I love Mylene! She’s so cool and skilled and nice and talented. *_* Last January? when I rolled with her, I was a purple belt and she was brown.
This time, she was black and I was brown and she STILL whooped my butt, but I felt like I didn’t get whooped quite as badly? Maybe it’s my imagination. I think I fixed some mistakes, but it’s hard for me to remember. She had given me some tips so I really wanted to show that I had improved.
Jiujitsu is fun!!

And I rolled with this lady only known as “Tammi” and when I went home and googled her, I found that she’s some BJJ world champion who beat Mackenzie Dern at one point? Holy cannoli! That’s why she wiped the floor with me. hah! Tapped me out with this nifty shoulder lock from guard.

Monday I felt back to normal!! Alexa Connors joined Syndicate and Monday was the first day we trained together! I love training with her! Thanks for the training and welcome to Syndicate!

We really have a great team of female fighters at Syndicate. Here’s another pic of another day, and Serena and Alexa aren’t even in the pic…

Also had a great mitt sessions with John this week, and shark tanks. I was on fire this week. Hard training, solid mentally. I know I’m well-prepared for my fight against Sarah D’lelio. It’s next Saturday! Broadcast on Fightpass. I leave on Wednesday.

I hope this is the official fight poster…it’s cool. My face is on it. XD

These photos taken by Jessica Bakan, our resident photographer. (She is also for hire, if anyone needs a professional photographer for profile pictures, weddings, fashion shoots, whatever. contact Bakanphotography at )

On Monday, I was grappling with Captain. I’m pretty hard to choke, if I do say so myself. So he got me in this guillotine. I’m fighting it but it’s pretty tight. I’m still able to breathe so I’m wiggling and fighting, and I can feel him transitioning to something. I’m starting to get dizzy and fade out, so I decide to tap, but one of my arms is trapped somehow and the other one was twisted under us, so I tried to reach and tap his hands. I’m sitting at a desk in my University in Japan just finishing up a test. It was my International Persuasion class. My classmates are all around me. My friend Katie was there. Then the teacher says, “Okay everyone outside! Recess!” That’s weird, recess at this age? So I get up and file out into the grassy field and I’m chatting with people. Then the world kind of turns on it’s side and I see people grappling with each other. I’m so confused. I sit up strait and say, “Where am I? Where am I? Where am I?” like three or four times. I look around. What is going on? I see Captain staring at me and then starts to laugh. It took me about 60 seconds to realize that I got choked unconscious and that was a choke dream!! I stood up and fell back down. LOL It felt like a week had passed! I was so confused. He said he didn’t feel me tap. He said it was a head-arm triangle, realized I wasn’t moving and let me go. I don’t even remember the head arm triangle. LOL I think I went out as I was trying to tap. oops
So here’s a meme that I made earlier this year and I’ll post it in honor of this moment.

Captain’s been going out of his way to help me prepare for my fight. He planted himself next to me when we were drilling in John’s class all this week and gave me tips.

I’ve been watching My Hero Academia, a GREAT anime, and I’ll post a quote from it!

I’m very grateful to my sponsors for this fight.

Dragon Do Fight Gear, Remove it Restoration, Jenkins Jiujitsu and Aaron, Top Notch fighter and John, Nick Braccia, Fight Face Custom Mouthguards, crew, Cryohelmet , , Katie, Howard Fidler, Aardvark Painting and Robvark, Thug Life Celia, My Consumer I.T. and the Crilly family! I can’t wait to meet you guys.

Preparing for Invicta 23, kids classes, TV, life etc

Posted in every day, fight on May 2nd, 2017 by roxyfighter

My last few blogs were actually stories. This is an update!

Things are going splendidly. I didn’t really stop training much after my previous fight, so my weight is still low and my cardio and stamina are great.

Actually I really suck at maintaining my weight. I’m either gaining or losing. I gained a pound and then went strict with my diet, and before I knew it, I was literally at fight weight and felt drained on a Monday when I should feel refreshed. SOOOOO I ate a lot of tacos for two days in a row. lol And ice cream. And now I feel better.

My next fight is May 20th in Invicta 23 in Kansas City, MO. Invicta made these cool posters! 😀

Working with Lorenzo doing physical training has been helping SO much.

I’m also so glad I added BJJ gi into my schedule on a regular basis, despite it being really physically hard to do double sessions in a row.

I feel it’s helping build and maintain my strength, and it motivates me so much for training, especially on Thursday when I have to do kickboxing right afterwards.

Captain and Casey are the best jiujitsu teachers for me!

I respect them not only because they are good teachers and kind to me, but because they are struggling with their own goals and careers. We look up to people who work hard in the face of diversity, right?
John, as well. Can you imagine not only managing a business, but a gym, which is a living, breathing organism with all kinds of personalities with all sorts of needs.

I’ve been learning new ground and pound stuff from him and little details about things I didn’t even know I didn’t know. Like, wow.
I’ve become super conscious of this nowadays because I’m in an instructor role. I’m taking time to coach my kids at tournaments.

My kids class is growing and growing and now the average is between 15 and 20 every class! Serena used to help me out once in a while, and now I’m depending on her twice a week! Monday I had TWENTY THREE kids! My new record! I’m so pleased!

And because Serena acts goofy when showing technique, the kids pay attention even better!

Nice pictures by Jessica Bakan, our resident photographer.
I love this kid Chris! He works so hard and is very talented…he tried to knee bar me the other day and I kinda adult-muscled out of it. lol
And his little sister Bailee is awesome, too! <3 I'm gonna take pictures of me raising my arms in joy and victory for the rest of my fight camp.

Lately I’ve been watching Sherlock, per Katie’s suggestion.

I’ve also been watching Fairy Tail. On ep 61 now. It’s not too deep and I’m not emotionally evolved in it…I watch it before going to bed and my brain shuts off. LOL It only takes like 2 minutes but then I go from thinking about everything to literally nodding off. Natsu is freaking cool, though. He has Luffy’s stupidity but not quite as bad, Naruto’s stubbornness, and Goku’s love of fighting. I love when he yells “Moette kita ze!” (I’m all fired up now!”) and “kakatte koi ya!” (bring it on!)

Also, I’m excited about the new Attack on Titan! I read the manga like a year ago when it came out, and the anime is almost the same. Slight changes but I like it, because it feels new. As my friend Candy put it, it feels like I’m “living it.”

I’m doing an AMA on Reddit tomorrow (Wednesday) at 6:30 PM PST on the subforum rmma. If you don’t know what that means, ignore this sentence. lol

Congrats to my high school friend Jared on his marriage, and his new wife Christina. I’m sad I didn’t make it. :/

I’ve been trying to rewatch the Transformers so I can see the newest one. I discovered iTunes rentals. The second one wasn’t as bad as the 19% Rotten Tomatoes made it out to be! Well I’ve only ever seen the first one.

I have some nice sponsors for my fight but I still have spots open on my banner and shorts for company logos, names, screen names, funnny words, whatever! lol email me to inquire:

How I literally beat my fear to death

Posted in Uncategorized on April 29th, 2017 by roxyfighter

Imagine this…. cute little kid-Roxy, four or five years old, playing merrily on the playground. Here she is:

It was a nice sunny day. Kid-Roxy was giggling, climbing on the jungle-gym, running across the log bridge on the playground contraptions, running up to the fence and trees and back. Then suddenly, she heard a Bzzzzzzzzzzzz! and THEN PAIN! STINGING HORRIBLE DEATHLY PAIN, on the tender, sensitive skin under her nose right above her lip.

She screamed. She cried. It hurt so badly. A bee had stung her. She knew she was going to die. It was the end. The planets were exploding. She had to find her mother to fix things. Tears. Fear. Mother took the stinger out but couldn’t make it stop hurting. Yes, she was wimpy, but most five-year-olds are wimpy and cry if stuff hurts, but this sting hurt all the way home and the next day! She wasn’t even allergic.

Thus, she became afraid of bees.

Even the sound of the word made her shutter. If she was near flowers and she heard or saw a bee, she ran. To the other side of the lawn. Sometimes inside. Flowers were a thing of beauty….only to be enjoyed at a distance if there were bees, and to find out, she would inch her way close, step by step, looking around carefully, checking the petals….

For years. And Wasps? pppfffffftttt those things looked ten times scarier!

Just look at that black Angel of Death on wings! With it’s pointy stinger of DOOM.

You could call it a phobia.

She kept the heck away from bees and wasps passionately so she never got stung by a wasp…or another bee…but she knew they were evil.

Life happened and she found herself, a 13-year-old, exercising in her living room with her new five pound dumbbells she just got. A few years older than this picture. You get the idea.

She had just started Tae Kwon Do, and was a huge fan of Dragon ball Z. She wanted to be as strong as Goku and Piccolo and decided to start lifting weights to get muscles. She was listening to Mortal Kombat movie music.

Then, she saw it… a wasp. No, a monster. The Alien Mother of ALL wasps was stuck between the silky see-through curtain and the window. This thing was as big as an adult thumb.

Of course, she ran away and closed all the doors to the room. She knew her mom wasn’t home and dad was mowing the lawn. She’d get him to kill it later….. wait.

She wanted to get stronger and become a fighter. She had a bookmark in her favorite book that was a Halmark quote card with a face of a lion that said, “Do things you are afraid to do.” There was literally nothing more scary to her than a bee or wasp.

How could she be JUST training to get stronger, want to learn fighting to fight the bad guys, but ran away from a dumb bug? Dumb, yet evil and painful and scary and evil and……

I have to kill that bug, she told herself. Say it. Say it outloud. You’re going to kill that bug. “I have to kill that bug,” she told herself. “Kill the bug. Kill my fear. Get stronger.” That’s what they teach us. Face your fear and overcome it. But….

She took a few deep breaths. “Roxanne.” She swallowed. “You’re going to go inside there and kill that …wasp.”

She went into the kitchen, got some newspaper, and rolled it up. She went back into the living room, hoping it hadn’t escaped from the curtain. Praying it hadn’t. It hadn’t!

Her breathing rate increased. Her heartrate increased. She thought of Piccolo. She was so terrified that she thought of anything that could give her courage. She slowly approached the curtain. Man, it was so big!

“Just do it!” she said, raising the newspaper and whacking at it as hard as she could. She missed! The insect panicked! She panicked and screamed! The giant wasp’s wings and body making a loud buzzing clicking commotion as it banged against the glass window pane. She knew it was just dying to sink it’s dark singer of death into her body. She hit it again and again, the curtain cushioning the impact of the blows. It fell! It fell to the carpet. She fell to her knees next to it, hoping to see a decapitated body…but no, it was very much intact started running around! With a cry, she slammed her weapon down as hard as she could, but the bug bounced back and forth between the soft carpet and newspaper. Have you ever tried to squish something soft against something soft? It’s very ineffective. She realized this after the 15th time she whacked at it, but knew there was no time to get a different weapon. And she had no shoes on to take off. She resolved to hit it until it dropped dead.

She whacked it again. And again. and again. and again. and again. She felt slightly crazed. It wasn’t dying. But she would kill it.

She lost count of how many times she hit that thing, but it was probably over thirty. It finally oozed guts out of it’s broken body into the light blue carpet, and stopped moving.

There were a few tears in her eyes. She was not only scared, but she hated what she did. She hated killing things. She always saved the bugs (not stinging ones-she called Mom for them) that crept into her house. She avoided stepping on ants on the sidewalk. After watching Fern Gully, she decided to stop pulling up weeds and flowers, because every life has a spark of energy and is beautiful. She felt bad she just ended the life of another animal, and there it was. Dead. It’s life could never come back. But it terrified her. She knew it had to die.

She hoped that she had killed the fear inside her along with that bug. And she was right.

She forced herself to clean it up with a paper towel, rather than waiting for her parents. After all, it was respectful. She had ended it’s life, so she should take the responsibility of finishing the deed.

Just as she has suspected, her fear dissipated. She went outside and went over to her garden and gazed upon the bees…. while she had no desire to go touch one, she no longer felt that icy knife of terror slice into her heart.

my code of a martial artist

Posted in every day on April 27th, 2017 by roxyfighter

You have your own value system, code of honor, and rules for living.

what is right and wrong
what you should or shout not do
how to behave

The challenge is to follow these self-appointed rules when you’re tired, stressed, or emotional. If you are a human who interacts with others, you know that pressure and circumstances make people act in unpleasant ways.

Those are the times where self-discipline is needed. Those are the times that test our resolve and hearts.

Will you take an extra cookie when nobody is looking even when you’re on a diet?
Will you yell at someone you care about if you’re angry?
Will you lie about something you think doesn’t matter?

Ultimately, it’s a person’s choice what kind of person they want to be. I won’t judge other people because I haven’t walked in their shoes in life, I haven’t experienced their life experiences that made them what they are, I can’t feel the things they are feeling. That is part of my code as a martial artist.

What’s the first thing you think of when you hear the word, “Honor?”

I just googled the word “honor” and I see a lot of American soldiers, samurai, other warrior-type characters, and cell phones. (huh?)

Can you define “honor” in words? Protection, respect, fulfill an obligation. An obligation to who? To yourself and to other people.

Pride – I feel like lately, it’s getting a negative connotation, where people think too highly of themselves and are ‘prideful.’ For me, it’s not. I have pride so I won’t stop training until I fall over. My pride won’t allow me to slack off on the assault exercise bike and let the numbers fall, even when my trainer Lorenzo walks away for a second and stops watching. I hold myself to a high standard and if I break it, I will be letting myself down and it will damage my self-esteem. Pride lets me sleep at night if I fail at something, because I KNOW I gave it 100%.

Growing up being teased, I admired super heroes who did “the right thing.” They helped others, they sacrificed something to follow some moral principle. They told the truth even if it meant hurting someone’s feelings, in order to fix a situation in the long run. They followed the rules. My teachers and parents told me, “Life isn’t always fair” like a mantra over and over again. Therefore, growing up, it was very important for me to do the “right” thing because I wanted so badly for the world to be fair. The “right” thing is often the hardest thing. I feel like the world isn’t fair because people don’t try hard enough to make it fair.

But WHAT IS THE RIGHT THING?! Sometimes it’s not so easy to know! You can only do what YOU feel is right so you can live with yourself. Sometimes two choices seem right. There are two futures right there, one down path A, one down path B. We have no way of knowing which one is ‘best,’ because we can’t see the future. Just choose.

(That’s a line from Levi from Attack on Titan.)

I also feel a very strong need to accomplish attainable goals I set for myself. For example, Friday morning I have to go to yoga class, or else my back will hurt all next week and my body won’t recover. I will absolutely go to that class unless my car breaks down. No matter if I’m tired or cranky or whatever, there is no way I’m not going to that class.

The trick for me is ignoring my mood and feelings. Those can change so easily. If someone I had a crush on suddenly texted me he was going, I would suddenly be motivated 400% to go. (not true, but just for example). Objectively look at facts.

If I let my mood dictate my actions, and I skip some unpleasant work out or homework or whatever, I’m letting myself down and failing myself. That’s my pride. Otherwise, how can I call myself a martial artist?

Our emotional control and will-power is like a muscle. It needs to be exercised and developed. When I first started fighting and dieting for fights, it was so hard and tortuous to control my eating if I was hungry or craving something. So, I got the idea to train my will-power. I used to walk into bakeries, look at and smell all the delicious breads and pastries, and then walk out without buying anything. Now it doesn’t bother me one bit seeing others eat a lot in front of me if I have to have a salad or whatnot.

I’m not trying to sound high and mighty. I’m trying to explain how I build a mental and emotional structure for myself to live in and live by. I want to know my weaknesses so I can strengthen them.

I guess one of my weaknesses is that I’m not very sharp to pick up on things people might imply. But it’s partially by choice. I don’t try too hard. It’s so easy to misunderstand or misread people. My mom always said, “Don’t be a mind-reader.” So I choose not to think something that somebody doesn’t tell me directly. If I think, “Maybe they feel or think this?” I entertain the possibility, but don’t believe it unless I have proof. I wonder if that’s good or not. Well, I don’t get into trouble at all, but I’m often finding stuff out that I hadn’t picked up or realized and then I think, “Man, I’m oblivious.”

One of my most recent accomplishments was banishing my emotions from training. I used to get frustrated if I couldn’t pick up or learn a move quickly. My brain got more and more worked up until it froze and I got REALLY upset. I started telling myself, “I’m a Jedi, I’m a Jedi, there are no need for emotions here.” As I step on the mat, I bow in respect, touch the post, and imagine leaving my feelings there stuck to the post until I’m done training. If I feel something welling up during training, I imagine it like a breeze, wafting away in the air.

[edit] Another thing is that if I notice a grammatical error in my writing, I MUST go edit it because I have my pride as an English teacher! Spelling is a whole different story… lol

my story of a girl, life, friends, and fighting

Posted in friends on April 20th, 2017 by roxyfighter

There once was a little girl trying to grow up.

And, like almost everyone else, she was different than everybody else. Also, like everybody else, she got teased. She only had one or two good friends most of the time through elementary school and middle school. Everyone else seemed to have so many friends and she was lonely a lot. Every time it was a starry night, she prayed to the brightest one like in Pinocchio, that she could have more friends. Hey, it worked for Geppetto.

When she hit high school, people weren’t as mean and even though she was an oddball, she fit in better. She found a group of six people who loved anime and video games. They were together always.

The girl was happier. They all were really into the internet and showed her how to blog and use social media. She became a midnight mIRC chat room fanatic.

The girl went away to college and started fighting professionally. Strangers started talking to her online more and more, almost everyone being really nice. The girl enjoyed meeting people online so much. She also met fans in person and they were really nice to her.

The more she fought, the more people wanted to chat online. Only a few times did she run into creepy or mean people. If they appeared, like on the Underground Forum, a bunch of White Knights chased them off for her. 🙂 The girl was happy.

Flip forward a number of years to chapter further into the story.
Facebook was invented and the girl was very active on it. She moved back to America from Japan.

She joined team Syndicate. The people were cool and welcomed her.

She felt like she belonged.

Sometimes various people wrote her messages, “Oh I would love to train with you!” and she wrote, “Sure, come to Syndicate.” People never actually made the trip. Then one day, a fan from Philadelphia wrote, “Okay, I booked my plane ticket for next month on the (insert date here.) Here’s the itinerary.” The girl was like, “Wait, you’re really coming?”

It was Serena! She visited on and off for a few years and ended up becoming one of the girl’s closest friends ever, joining Team Syndicate. Serena. The Reen. The Southpaw outlaw. Official Nacho Buddy and Anger Translator. No, we are not sisters, and no, we are not dating. lol

Flip to another chapter.
Eddie from Cage Quest flew her to Washington State to be a guest at his show. While signing T shirts at the table and smiling a lot, some buff guy asked her to put him in an ankle lock and get a picture. Suuuuure, WHY NOT?! So she posed a bunch of times with him and he was so happy and she was very amused.

He gave off the “weird but not dangerous-weird” vibe. He was Rob, from Aardvark Painting! He found her on social media and they became friends. And he wanted to help support her fighting career, but didn’t really care about his business being advertised. The girl insisted on writing something on her banner, and wrote “Aardvark Painting” in plain text.

A few fights later, he sponsored Serena and Serena’s mom came up with the little Aardvark picture. Then the girl used that plus the text “Aardvark painting” and thus, Aardvark Nation was born.

The girl also started a chat room, just like the old days. One lady joined and always typed “roxy roxy roxy” three times when she entered, so the girl always replied, “candy candy candy” and thus they became friends, not only in the chat room, but on other social media.

Also, a veterinarian who did Tae Kwon Do came into the room and they all made friends. They all started traveling to see the girl’s fights, thus the Posse was born.

A lady named Julie, emailed the girl, asking her to try out her new design of shorts “Meili Fighting” for active women. meilifighting.comThey soon became the girl’s favorite shorts and she wore them almost every training session. Then she got to meet her buddy from Twitter Patrick, who she talks about UFC and superhero shows and anime with, and so so many other people I can’t even begin to mention, Bonny, Darth Lemon Bader, Justin T, Eric & Beth from Remove it Restoration, Jay C, Mike C. and family, Jack and Jan, Eric Holden aka My favorite stalker who really doesn’t stalk me but other people talk crap about him but I like him, etc etc!!!!! so many unique people I’ve had the pleasure of meeting!

Fast forward to Invicta 14 where the Posse dressed up as Mortal Kombat characters as a surprise!! They did it again for the next Invicta she fought on.

And her coach John is also her friend who always has her back.

The girl was so happy. She went from being lonely and praying for friends, to having people who would travel the country to see her and spend time with her and dress up in crazy costumes with her.

I have stress. My life isn’t perfect. I haven’t achieved everything that I want to achieve. Sometimes the Happy Warrior cries and needs to be reminded of the positive things. But I want to take a moment and acknowledge and thank my friends and fans for making my heart so happy. If I haven’t typed your name here, it’s not because I forgot you! I just happened to talk to the above people in the last five hours so their names were first on my social media lists. hahaha <3 Lots of people say to me, "You are always smiling! Why are you always so happy?" Well, I'm not ALWAYS happy, but I'm talking to you right now, and you're being nice to me, so why shouldn't I smile?