This week has been up and down and all around.
Monday was super busy. The previous night, I’d finished “Towers of Midnight,” this long-@$$ book by Robert Jordan/ Brendon Sanderson. It only took me two years because it’s so huge I couldn’t carry it around with me, and if I was at home, I always watched One Piece.
Got up at 3:30 AM (not by choice! My brain just woke up and wouldn’t go back to sleep. _< ) So I got up, ate, went to lift weights at Gold's Gym from 7:30 to 8:30 AM. Since my doctor told me on Friday that I shouldn't train for one or two months, I've decided to not be a dumbbutt and rush things, because then it'll never heal. I ALWAYS go back to training too soon, and frankly, I'm too old (in fighter years) to be stupid. I've committed my heart to lifting weights with my upper body. Although in the past, I've tried to shift my training focus from MMA to strength training, I never really had noticable results, and that's so depressing.
I am not taking steroids or other crap. I just drink protein and eat right.
Anyway, I have a plan I'm following, and I've started drinking creatine. *shrug* I've already done twice this week.
Good news: My knee has stopped hurting in daily life activities. I just can't sit cross-legged. That's good.
So Monday, I lifted, then went to Groundslam to watch pro practice. I'm writing a book, and I need to do research at the gym! The kind of book I'm writing is a secret. XD That's also giving me a project to focus on and do my best at. I'm putting all my energy into lifting and this book. It's giving me hope, and making me feel like I'm not wasting my time.
Then I went and got my osteopathic treatment, speaking with Mihara-san in English, and I feel like he's making real progress in his studies, so I'm so happy for him.
Katsumura-san also mentioned that he was able to do problem solving in English on his trip to corner BJ-san in Malaysia, so I'm thrilled about that. 🙂
Finally, I went BACK to Groundslam and watched evening practice. I tried to write my book, but ended up talking to Brittany and Nicholas most of the time. LOL And I saw BJ-san! 😀 Congratulations on your win, my teacher!! XD
Tuesday was productive, despite waking up at 3:30 AGAIN and being exahusted all day. I went to my kids' outservice day-care center and played with TINGO, I mean, them and Tingo.
I’m looking forward to going now, so I can use the Tingo doll. LOL omg you never appreciate what you have until it’s taken away. Tingo is so much more awesome than our current kids’ characters. -_-
I bought a new printer! Mine was working but the ink ran out. It’s so old that the company stopped making color ink! I bought a new black one for like $25 bucks, but couldn’t find a color one, so the printer won’t work. So the salesman sold me this new printer AND FREAKING SCANNER for around 65 bucks. WEEEE That will freaking rock. But I wasted 25 bucks. -_- But how can a printer be good quality and only 5,800 yen? Oh well, anyway….
My diet is going okay. I don’t want to lose muscle mass, but I want to shed a few pounds of fat.
Today will be busy. I woke up this morning at 5:00 AM. I have a skype date and then I’m going to Groundslam to practice English with my coach and watch practice and study! Then off to lift weights! Then work! w00t
AAAAND I just finished the Fishman arch in One Piece, so I think I’m gonna take a break from One Piece. Watch a few movies I got. I kind of want to shift to Naruto….but if I still get the urge to watch One Piece, I’ll keep going. If I shift, I’ll probably not watch One Piece for another year or so. My whole room is covered with One Piece stuff. lol but I’m like 3 years behind in Naruto…
I’ve been kind of dwelling on a few things lately, after hearing stories about other fighters who’ve fought with broken stuff, fevers, illnesses, etc, and still managed to win. Why couldn’t I do that? It’s made me really think about what fighting is all about. It’s not just applying your skills and techniques. It’s about the WHOLE process, of prepararing, losing weight, overcoming physical and mental obstacles. Injuries are PART of what it means to fight. Can you win over your injuries or let them defeat you. Or is it not like that at all? Someone tell me.
On one hand, I don’t fight for the fans, actually. I’m glad people want to see me fight, but I fight because *I* love fighting. So when I had a herniated disk, I was afraid I was going to get my neck snapped if I went out there and tried to fight, because I couldn’t bend it. On the other hand, I had severe food poisoning and was shaking and feverish for Sengoku, and I decided to not fight. A Japanese person would have? Was I wrong? was I right? I’m doubting my decision now.
Should I have gone out there and said, “Okay, Akano, I can’t really move and I’m quivering, so just here, take my arm and don’t break it too badly, I’ll tap fast?”
I have to keep reminding myself not to regret my decisions, because I weighed all things at the time and made the best decision I could. It still weighs on my mind heavily. I’m not afraid of losing. I’m not afraid of getting hurt. Well, I’m afraid of permanent damage, I suppose. But before, I couldn’t even throw a strong punch, I had chills and diahrrea and was feverish. My chills stopped JUST before I had to go into the ring and apologize to the crowd, so it looked like I was fine. -_- I was so NOT fine. That was so humiliating.
That night has been replaying in my mind, ever since I verbalized some of my thoughts to a friend. This topic has been bothering me a lot.
I guess I should just try and push it out of my mind and go on with my life, but no, I need to find an answer some how. It’s mentally stressing me out.…Details