I had a melt-down

Super busy day.
Woke up at the crack of dawn.
Went into work and prepped for kids. Finished my birthday present to my Dad this morning. Ran to teach Katsumura-san English. Did a little training. Went back to work. Played really hard with my kids.

I’ve experienced all sorts of bad behavior in kids.
I’ve had kids who’ve thrown stuff in the air. Kids who’ve thrown stuff at ME, and at other students. I’ve had kids who write on the table with colored pencils, who color the OTHER kid’s books, or my teacher’s sample books. I’ve had mischievous kids, spiteful kids. Kids who touch the CD player, even when I tell them not to. Kids who open the lid while it’s playing. Kids who touch stuff I tell them not to, get under the desk, open the door, turn off the lights. I’ve had kids scream and shout, kids who speak in Japanese and don’t pay attention. I’ve had kids who hit or punch me or other kids. I’ve had kids who rip the flash cards or the teacher’s book, or their own book.

I’ve had many different kinds of kids who do different things. BUT never ONE child who does EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE THINGS. HOLY mother of…! I had a melt-down in class today. It was my last of three kids classes in a row. I played with those first two kids classes so hard, so I was hanging on to my sanity and energy for dear life in the last lesson….and MY FAVORITE adorable little boy, who’s laugh I love so much, was bad. Like…really bad. The above. All of it. I was SO so disappointed. ;_; I was looking forward to playing with him, and of course, his cute classmate.

I gave him all the discipline methods I could think of, and finally tried to send him out of the room. It was stabbing me with his colored pencil that did it. I COULD GET INJURED, and I mean a BLOODY PENCIL IN THE PALM. By a 4 year old. NO THANKS.

So out he went. Except he said “No! no! sorry sorry!” (But it was the billionth time). So I told him to get out. He wouldn’t. I lifted him up and carried him out.

He SCREAMED AND SCREAMED. -_-; I bet my boss and the other students in the school loved that. SCREAM. @#$%)#U$# I told the secretary what happened, and that he needed to sit there for two minutes. I wonder if she could hear me over his screaming. I said, “Just two minutes, then he could come back.” He was rolling around on the floor. “Oh second thought, put him in the classroom.” The poor secretary looked….perplexed. He then CLUNG TO ME and SCREAMED bloody murder. -.-;;;;; Okay, that was my first time for such a scene. In my previous school SY, the kids glumly sat outside and looked very unhappy, but didn’t do what this kid did.

I detached myself and tried to walk away, but he SQUIRMED out of the secretary’s grip and followed me and grabbed my hand and gave me red-blood shot puppy eyes and said “I’m sorry!~” like 10 times. This had been going on for about 4 minutes, so I thought maybe I tortured the kid enough that he saw I meant business. I said, “Be good?” and he said, “yes yes waaaaaa yes.”

So I let him back in.

The second we were back in, he took my hand, which he was holding, and squeezed it with all his might…and his nails.

I was in confused shock. I didn’t know the psychology behind that. Maybe he was angry at me for making him feel so hurt, so he was showing me his anger. He did other angry things, which was really bizarre because he was also sad. OR what was he? I TOLD HIM TO STOP doing stuff, and he OBVIOUSLY KNEW it was wrong, so WTF IS HIS PROBLEM with the screaming? And I KNOW that psychologically, if you tell a kid to STOP doing something, they want to do it MORE, so I said stuff like, “not this, but THIS” and presented a different OPTION.

Managing kids is all about options.

Usually, if the kid knows he or she does something wrong, they kind of pout….but never lash out angrily?

I wondered if I should send him back out. But he was quiet and not screaming, so I just made him sit down. He did a few other bad things later, but I tried to ignore him and pay attention to his classmate.

The girl was pretty good. I was so damn bummed out, because I love this boy. ~_~; His mother is a good mother, too…I overhear her talking to him and trying to discipline him, but he just won’t listen. I like his mother. -0- I wish I had studied more child psychology to figure out how to handle him. I give him PLENTY of praise for good stuff done. I’m good at various distraction techniques….

I never wanted a class to end as much as that one. I think I started talking to myself. When I came out of the classroom, I was shaking. PHYSICALLY SHAKING. Not with anger, but like “I just sparred 10 rounds” shaking.

Then I went and met Tony at the train station, and we had yaki tori. XD Yay! I’m gonna bring him to the dojo tomorrow morning.

I did more stuff today, but I’m exhausted and going to bed now.…