I’m so so so excited to fight next week!! and stuff

I am really really REALLY excited for my fight.

Every person has different reasons for competing. An MMA fighter has feelings in general about fighting, and then each fight feels a little different. For example, I compete in MMA first and foremost to test my ability and strength against my opponent, and prove that I can win. Then comes how I feel about each individual fight. I fought Sarah Kaufman in Strikeforce for the 135 lb title for that reason PLUS I wanted the belt and to prove that I was the best in the world in my weight division. Then, while I was on my 5-fight losing streak, my desire to fight changed to, “I just want to win a fight.”

My motivation for my third fight against Tara LaRosa was, “Now that I’ve changed my ENTIRE LIFE by quitting my job, leaving Japan, and training with the best coach I’ve ever met, can I still win in MMA?”

Yep, thanks to John and team Syndicate.
I try to not let myself get excited about belts or titles or rankings, although I’d be lying if I said I didn’t care at all. I have belts. I have three.

As we fighters gain various experiences in life, losing, winning, injuries, trips to places, relationships with people, our motivations come and go and change. As Coach John likes to say, nobody is forcing us to do this. Nobody is holding a gun to my head saying, “You have to fight in a cage!” I could get a different job, do jiujitsu for fun, whatever. Sometimes training is painful and sucks. We cry, barf, bleed, and agonize mentally over what we couldn’t manage to do.

We also cry tears of joy, rejoice, and celebrate things we are able to do, and especially, difficult things we BECOME ABLE to do after hard work.

Just because you train hard doesn’t mean you’ll win, but if you don’t train hard, you’ll never win.

When a fighter loses a fight and writes about it on social media, many people comment, “Don’t worry, it’s a learning experience!” “You win or you learn!” “You’ll be glad in the future!” or something. Yeah, it’s true we learn from our losses, but a fighter who loses is temporarily devastated. They SHOULD be devastated. This is because they put their heart and soul into going after their dream and they failed. It’s NOT “okay” to lose, especially on the pro level. This is a very unforgiving sport. People can get cut from the UFC after one loss,right? We want money and status to get our next fight. The day after the fight, it’s not a good time to read these things. However, a fighter DOES learn from their loss. We have to make the best of it, right? So yes, a loss is a learning experience but I’m never “glad” when I lose. when I lost fights, I thought to myself, “I have so much more I can do! Why did I lose?” and then I went about trying to fix it and strengthen my weaknesses.

I told one of my kid students this the other day when he started crying because he got frustrated. I said, “It’s okay to be upset that you didn’t win. That’s good – it means you are trying really hard and you care about jiujitsu. But you have to stay calm, keep fighting, and learn how to get better the next time.”

Smile and carry on.

My loss to Porto was REALLY really rough, and I was not okay. But I became okay, trained my butt off, and got better.

When I lost my title fight loss against Jennifer Maia, it was so weird. I felt that searing fiery pain in my heart from failing to win, but also a heady joy that I landed so many techniques successfully that I’ve been working on. I was okay with the contents of the fight, just not the outcome.


John told me that I needed to do more physical conditioning and get a little stronger. I started doing gi jiujitsu again, A) because I love jiujitsu B) because the pulling and that style of fighting strengthens my upper body and legs. I also found Lorenzo who I’ve been working with once a week every week since January. He’s been pushing for more but I literally cannot add anymore physical activity to my schedule.

I did a shark tank with John and Serena yesterday and John said this is the best shape he’s ever seen me in. I’m so excited.

I could go out there and still lose. There are no guarantees. Fighters have to know that they are not invincible. But I feel so great, so ready, so prepared. I have so many techniques I want to try. My opponent seems tough but I know I can win if I fight well.

I really can’t wait. I wish it were next week already! I just wanna go and do it! My weight is good. I want sushi and nachos. x_x

If you are relatively near Billings, Montana, please go see my fight in Fusion Fight League! While you’re at it, you could always “like” their facebook page. XD
https://www.facebook.com/fflmma/
I think it might be payperviewed on the internet… more info to come soon!

I’ve gotten some sponsors for this fight. Thank you!!
Remove it Restoration

Dragon Do Fight Gear

Aardvark Painting and Rob Hamilton

Cryohelmet

Jenkins Jiu-jitsu, an academy in El Paso, TX!
My Consumer I.T. and Bill.

The Void and Katie “Bad Wolf”!
Justin Taylor
Dominate your Game
Herbal Papaya
wetdryvac.net my webmaster…