After my Jewels 15 fight (pt 1)

I wrote a blog entry the night of my fight, but deleted it right after I posted it.

To everyone reading this, I’m so grateful for your support, confidence, love, and cheering. However, I’d rather not read comments of “It’s okay” “There’ll be a next time.” because it’s really not okay whatsoever. An “L” on my record is an “L.”

I fought so hard. I wanted to win so freaking badly, like never before. This fight meant so much to me on many levels. It’s very disillusioning.

They tell me it was a really exciting fight. Sakura-chan told me, “We were treated to a top level fight one would expect to see in the US rather than Japan.” That’s nice to hear, but in the end, my hand wasn’t raised, and now I’m on a 3 fight losing streak.

I was ground and pounding from the top a lot. I thought I won the first round. Akano went for a lot of heel hooks, but she didn’t get them, and I got out. She threw me a few times but I got out. I think the second round was up in the air. I would gladly have fought a third round. Of course, in Japan the judges look more favorably on throws than GNP so she got the decision win. I can’t complain or make excuses because I wasn’t able to finish her. In my heart, I felt we were close enough to call it even, but I might have gotten the spit decision in the US.

It’s irrelevant. I’m really frustrated. I’m not sure whether to be mad at myself or not for not following a certain strategy. Now I think I’ve finally got it figured out, after all this time of being a professional fighter.

I don’t think a single one of her strikes hit me. She was good at messing up my sense of distance. Well, now I know what I need to practice next. She’s an excellent fighter. But I feel I have the tools to win. This is the worst feeling ever.

Masa-san, Akano’s corner (and he trains me, too) said, “You both were so stiff…unusually so.”


I have issues that I don’t know how to solve.

Thanks to Ota-san and Kojima-san for cornering me, and then taking me out to eat after the fight. I tried to treat them in thanks, but they wouldn’t let me. They are such good guys. They really took care of me. They tried so hard to cheer me up…

I’ll write more later. There’s a positive side, also, but I’m not feeling it right now.
Yes, and thank you so much to the Jewels Promotor for putting on this fight and giving me a chance to fight in Japan.